191: Those Left Behind

[Lovesfool]

Funny things this whole addiction business. It's like alcohol. Should I feel bad everytime I take a drink because there are alcoholics?

Likewise, should I feel bad for playing video games, because some people are addicted to them?

I don't think it's so much the lure of living a different life through a video game. It's the mindless grinding that takes hold of your brain. My wife is obsessed with Facebook flash mini games. Not addicted, but obsessed with her Facebook pet non the less. But it is hard for me to pass judgement, since I play video games for the last 20 years.

 

[RagnorakTres]

A sad tale and a well written article. I might only be 16, but I know what you mean, though from the other side.

I never got into WoW, mostly because, by the time it came out, I had realized that I had an addictive personality (plus my parents aren't into (read:violently opposed to) the whole "online gaming" thing). However, there was a time when I was addicted to, well, Pokemon of all things.

I'll give you a moment to stop laughing at me.

Done? Okay. In my defense, I was 9 and only had a Gameboy. But my parents realized what was going on when I nearly failed the 3rd grade, and promptly sat me down and explained to me that our family has a history of addiction. They explained how they both had been smokers for a long time, before I was born, and how my Mom cannot drink because of a few incidents when she was younger.

Since then, my father has started smoking again, and I bought a PSP a few days ago...with my own money. I found that paying for things out of pocket was the only way I could limit my intake of anything, from good food to video games. I haven't even opened my PSP yet because I haven't paid my Mom back for the money she lent me to cover the cost of it. The only way that I have found to break the vicious cycle was severe self-discipline. I still sometimes slip as far as food goes, hence my slight pudge. My point is that, if you have an addictive personality, no one can help you but yourself, though others can give you a push in the right direction. It has taken 7 years of self-deprivation to get to the point that I feel I can safely play again. Not total self-deprivation, I still played avidly at my friends' houses, and my friends always bring their consoles with them when they come over.

But it was still 7 years of no console of my own, not even a portable for long car trips.

I hope that your wife can bring her addiction under control, and I also hope that she doesn't have to resort to the extreme measures I had to.

 

[AngelaE8654]

It's certainly true that any obsession can have serious effects on a relationship, and WoW just seems to be one of the worst things to be obsessed with, because in order to keep raiding and whatever, you have to be there at a certain time, and there's little flexibility.

Exactly. It's not just games that lead to unhealthy obsessions, either. For some folks, if it wasn't WoW, it would be something else online. Some people have an obsessive personality.




Angela [http://angelasdiscountmarket.com/angela.html]

Backlinks [http://www.goarticles.com/cgi-bin/showa.cgi?C=1151743]

 

[Spectre39]

I'm a bit unclear on one topic in the story. You purchased WoW for your wife in hopes of playing together, right? You never mentioned why you left the game or how playing together worked out for you. All I read was there was one night of play, and then there were problems. Where's the in-between?

 

[Nemu]

After 4+ years of playing, stories like this still make me kinda sad.

WoW is certainly fun to play, but it definitely draws out addictive personalities in droves.

Not that I'm one to talk, when I play, I do dailies "obsessively', but I also take breaks from the game from time to time.

I hope you guys can find a bit of a middle-ground with this.

 

[marthagft]

I don't think something like Wow could make one obsessed. If that would have been the case then every Wow player would be like that. There are big, deeper reasons behind addiction.

 

[Wolveria]

Very very sad... hopefully all turns out well. I'm sure you've sat down and talked with your wife about it, but I definitely think there are some warning signs. I've played WoW, and unfortunately had my "phase" when I was playing the game way too much, but I was single at the time, so it didn't matter, and I got through it. When you are in a serious relationship or a marriage however, it will adversely effect your partner when you choose to spend time with the game over him/her.

I don't think you're being selfish or childish, this is a serious problem. I had a guildie who played WoW obsessively, and ruined his marriage because of it. My hopes are that she will be more aware of what she is doing. Best case scenario, she sees how she is affecting the marriage, and abstains from the game because of it. In the long run, fanatic WoW gaming never brings anyone happiness.

EDIT: One last thing... even though WoW breaks relationships, it can also make them. I have made many fantastic friends on the game, both near and far away, and I met the person I'm in a relationship with in the game. Sometimes I curse the game for the time it has taken from my life, but I wouldn't take any of it back. I've made mistakes and learned many lessons, learned a lot about the nature of people and myself, and that's something worth keeping. Besides, I never would have met my boyfriend otherwise.

 

[Wolveria]

Am I the only one who thinks there could be SOME insult implied that it's a female tauren in the picture? I mean... he's talking about his woman... and representing her with a COW....

I'm a very bad person, I know x_x

Haven't you heard the term "femtaur"? The female tauren are very sexy. I actually thought the picture was very cute, its what drew me in to read the article.

 

[Birdmad]

(I've been at the escapist for a few months now. Decided to stop being lazy and register )

Loved the article, sent it to my beloved gamer - we are psychology students and he's going to do a research on gaming addiction (the widows shall be useful to him)! I've been gaming since I was little, but I don't remember being addicted to a game... - perhaps ragnarok (I know, I know... but it was girly and it had nice hats!) when I was quite young, lol... Oh, the shame!

My family was almost teared apart by a gaming addiction (I can't count second life as a game, but... x.x') - daddy got addicted to it. While my parents clearly love each other, they almost got divorced.

I don't feel like telling the details, but it is still bringing us problems.

I wish you good luck with your wife!

Thanks for bringing up this subject! Really interesting article!

 

[Aurgelmir]

you know, your little words of

Those Left Behind

For every story of an MMORPG bringing a couple together, there's another where a game has pulled them apart. Logan Westbrook recounts how his wife's World of Warcraft habit has put some strain on their marriage.

Read Full Article

You know, your little words of wisdom at the end of your article was more or less the start up screen warning in Final Fantasy XI (which I always found an interesting warning to have in a game)

 

[John Keeler]

I played WoW for six months starting with its initial release--it was great.

It was great because the biggest, most time consuming "raid" instances were Upper Black Rock Spire and Scholomance. 10-15 people at the most, great quests and the time it took to do them was manageable.

Enter the Molten Core and things got ridiculous. When I play a game, and like a game, I like to achieve in that game. In order to achieve and experience the best content and equip your character with the best items in WoW it meant joining a large guild and spending hours upon hours raiding large instances.

Once this sunk in, I decided it wasn't for me. I re-subscribed a couple years later and quit after a month. Nothing had changed with that game and the amount of hours I noticed people putting in on my friends list--let's just say I COULDN'T BELIEVE how long they were online.

I'm hoping for a MMO game in the future that has the quality and polish of WoW, but without the massive time investment to experience the best content and items.

 

[tzimize]

Extremely interesting article from the other side of the mirror, so to speak.

The Schroedingers phone call made me laugh with delight. Great read.