$2.50 Reviews: The Expendables (2010)

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Marter

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$2.50 Reviews:
The Expendables
<img height=400>http://i29.servimg.com/u/f29/16/09/70/40/poster49.png

The Expendables opens up brilliantly. The opening scenes show a hostage situation off the coast of Somalia. A team of mercenaries called "The Expendables" is sent in to rescue the hostages. We get to meet our primary cast, and we get to see how they relate to one another, noting their minor interactions. They aren't taking the job too seriously either, which is always a plus. The opening is wonderfully well-done, and ultimately is the best part of the film.

[Img_Inline width="275" height="199" Caption="Way too ripped for being over 60." Align="left"]http://i29.servimg.com/u/f29/16/09/70/40/the-ex10.jpg[/Img_Inline]

The rest is not as good -- not anywhere close. The opening scene showed us that the actors had good chemistry, that the dialogue was smart and funny, and that the action scenes would be entertaining. What happened? The majority of the film doesn't even come close to the greatness of the opening scene, and this is a problem. Our expectations are raised after seeing the first part of the film, and they end up being crushed over the next 90 minutes.

The plot, if you can call it that, is very basic. The Expendables, (composed of Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews and Randy Couture), have been hired by Bruce Willis to go into Latin America and overthrow a dictator. Actually attempting to accomplish this task ends up taking about the last 20 minutes of the film, while the rest features the scouting of locations and wasting your valuable time with absolutely nothing of importance.

Well, that's not completely true. There are two scenes before they actually attempt to assassinate the dictator that are worth watching. The first is a monologue delivered by the group's manager, Mickey Rourke. It was completely out of place in a film like this, but it was heartfelt and definitely worth listening to. The second was a fight sequence between Dolph Lundgren and Jet Li. Everything else was completely forgettable and a waste of the talent that was involved.

[Img_Inline width="275" height="199" Caption="Here's our cast." Align="right"]http://i29.servimg.com/u/f29/16/09/70/40/the_ex10.jpg[/Img_Inline]

Once we actually get to the invasion of Vilena, the movie actually comes somewhat close to giving us what we witnessed in the opening scene. It doesn't quite match the level of intensity and humor that the first scene had, but it at least attempts to reach those heights. This invasion is entertaining, and if you haven't turned the film off by this point, you get a fun conclusion.

However, there's the possibility that all of the film's problems will get to you before this point. First and foremost is the dialogue, which is, at times, cringe-worthy. Sometimes, it's almost unbelievable that a real actor is saying those lines. But then you realize that they aren't really saying them -- they're whispering them instead. Most of the principal cast end up being really hard to hear. I don't know if this is a problem with the way the film was made, or if the actors were just too embarrassed to properly enunciate their dialogue, but it was often difficult to hear what was being said.

There is also a large amount of pointless scenes scattered between the opening and the conclusion. There are two in particular involving Statham's character that made absolutely no sense to the overall story, or even in a sub-plot. The first involves him finding out that his girlfriend is seeing another man. The second involves him beating up said other man. And that's the end of that. If they were trying to make us sympathetic towards him, or offer him some character depth, it didn't work. In fact, Mickey Rourke's monologue offers more character depth than the rest of the cast combined.

[Img_Inline width="275" height="199" Caption="This scene is so pointless." Align="left"]http://i29.servimg.com/u/f29/16/09/70/40/the-ex11.jpg[/Img_Inline]

The clever writing and chemistry between the cast also seems to disappear part-way through the film. In the opening few scenes, we see them joke around with one another; they don't seem to be taking anything to seriously. At one point, this stops. They no longer seem to be having a good time, and any fun little stabs at one another that they were taking earlier have now ceased. They're in less danger now than in the first scene, so it can't be explained by them having to focus on not dying.

Not even the majority of the action scenes can save The Expendables. Some of them, like the aforementioned Li/Lundgren fist fight, are fun and entertaining, but some of them are actually kind of boring. I found myself yawning, even during scenes that should have been more entertaining than they were. There's a fist fight between Steve Austin and Sylvester Stallone, and it bored me. It had no creativity, and it even seemed like they tried to slip in some wrestling moves into the fight.

I also feel the need to bring up some of the casting decisions. Now, Sylvester Stallone wrote and directed The Expendables, so I can see why he would want to be the lead actor. He shouldn't have been though. There's one scene that has him running to catch up with an aircraft that is starting to take off. (First off, there was no reason for it to start taking off with him not on it, but that's just poor writing). Despite the physique that Stallone has, it was clear to me that he shouldn't be running like that, nor would he actually be able to catch up to a plane. Casting someone younger, or having Statham doing this particular scene, would have improved it, if only marginally.

The Expendables starts of well, but only goes downhill afterwards. The opening scene is one of brilliance, but after that, it loses steam quickly. The writing stops being clever, the action stops being entertaining, and there is little to hold your interest up until the final 20 minutes, when the film starts to pick back up again. This can't save it though, because there's just too much downtime to make it a worthwhile watch.

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Grabbin Keelz

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Jun 3, 2009
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I've never seen something like this here before. I never really planned on watching the movie anyway, soooo yea, pretty good I guess.
 

Custard_Angel

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Perhaps there was a boring fight scene between Steve Austin and Sylvester Stallone, yes, but I would counter argue that in between the fight, Jet Li kicks a man in the chest so his head rears back and Jason Statham then breaks his neck by kicking him in the head. Also at the same time Terry Crews shoots about 50 guys in a corridor with an automatic combat shotgun.

Also, any movie featuring Dolph Lundgren stamping a man to death while driving a car, is worth accolades.

The only problem this movie has is that it was released 15 years too late. If this same movie was made in the mid-90s it would be amongst friends with the other over-the-top action movies that people these days somehow believe are too low brow for them.
 

tomtom94

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May 11, 2009
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I actually wanted to see this film at first.

After MovieBob's review (which was still being commented on two months ago) and now this...less so. Such a waste of a fantastic cast.

But not to worry, the sequel's coming out soon!.. well, it's being written and directed by someone who isn't Stallone, so it could actually be alright.
 

EnigmaHarper

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Jul 22, 2009
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As someone who actually enjoyed this film, I feel your review is dead on. Yes, there are a lot of scenes that are boring and out of place, but I went into the movie thinking "okay, written and directed by Stallone... how good is it gonna be?" and I was pleasantly surprised.

It's all about lowering your expectations to begin with. Then everything is good.

I do think that the movie needed more Dolph. He had the best written character in the film (i.e. character development), but was in it so sparingly that no one could see it.
 

Verlander

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Apr 22, 2010
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I think a lot of people take this film the wrong way. I don't love it (don't own it), but I enjoyed watching it a hell of a lot more than I enjoy most films nowadays. It was pure guilty pleasure, good and fun. The final scene nails it... a group of men who are just taking the piss. They know what they're good at, and that it isn't fashionable any more, but fuck it!

This film is a bit like Saxon, or Thunder, or one of those rock bands. Fantastic festival rock and roll, even if they couldn't get on the charts if they tried. No compromise. I do agree with all of your criticisms though.
 

thelonewolf266

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Nov 18, 2010
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I agree this had great potential but was disappointing because of the lacklustre dialogue however I'm surprised you didn't mention the scene with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger in the church that was epic.
 

gigastar

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Sep 13, 2010
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When i first watched it some time after i watched The A-Team i wondered "Why the hell would anyone call that better than The A-Team?!"

Sadly that first time watching it was on blu ray. so its just... there on my shelf.

I hope a time comes when i decide i hate someone enough that i give them it as a present.
 

Grubnar

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Aug 25, 2008
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thelonewolf266 said:
I agree this had great potential but was disappointing because of the lacklustre dialogue however I'm surprised you didn't mention the scene with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger in the church that was epic.
When Arnie was finaly done with governing California and said he would in fact get back to staring in films like these, I sort of hoped he would join Sly for a sequel.

A team of mercinaries lead by Sly, and another team of mercinaries led by Arnie, COMPEATING for witch one can finish a mission first, and then realicing they are WAY out of their leage and need to join forced to survive (and finish the mission). It could be hilarious.

But anyway, I really like the film AND the review. The film has many faults, but in the end I still think it is worth watching, and is better than most of the so called "action" movies of today.