Emergency Transmission:
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Encrypted code: 020982910
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Message Reads:
To anyone who who recieves this transmission, I have been captured by the Alien Command. Trapped in a windowless room without food, or water, I have only a chair, a 42" LG LCD TV with built in freeview, free HDMI cable, an Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 and stacks and stacks of games. My only information has been a single sheet of paper which reads:
Puny human Earthling,
You will choose one game from the Mighty selection we have supplied you. Once you begin you must play for 24 hours.
If you complete this task you will be freed.
You will not stop playing.
You will not have a bathroom break.
You will not figet in your chair.
You may blink, but not too often.
You will be supplied only with crisps and Diet Coca-Cola
You will not complain.
If you fail to adhere to these instructions, or express dislike at the flavour of crisps you are supplied you will forfit the test.
By forfitting the test you agree to detonate an explosive device that will kill you and anyone within one mile radius.
Puny Earthling, we are no where near by, you will only kill humans.
Most of them really nice people.
Do this, or I will DESTROY YOU
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I must do as they say. I must play a game, but which? I must keep playing, so it cannot be a short game. It will have to be Mass Effect. The endless identical settlements with 2 enemies and 'analyse: A particle of Dust!' will keep me going through the whole time. To save the lives of the nice people I will have to save the universe.
Happily I am an expert at computers so I also have ripped up the PS3 and turned it into an emergency transmission device. It only has the old style wifi reciever but it will have to do! It looks like a have voided the PS3's warranty but it's a risk I had to take.
If my Xbox 360 RROD's, tell my wife I love her.
Oh yes and before I forget, I was bundled into a truck and dragged from my home in California, for about 20 minutes until we arrived a------
TRANSMISSION CUT OFF AT SOURCE
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