40K Description...

[Undead Dragon King]

The most entertaining description of 40K that I've read in a long time. 40K enthusiasts can tend to lose sight of the scope of its nastiness, but this puts right back into perspective.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Warhammer40000?from=Main.Warhammer40K

 

[Skeleon]

Hehe, it's sad but true.

 

[Overlord_Dave]

Warhammer 40K is just so awesome.

Favourite line?

There are also chainsaw swords, gloves that crush tanks, mountain-sized daemonic walking battle cathedrals, tanks the size of small cities and warships that level continents, if not simply obliterating all life on an entire planet just to be sure.

 

[ironlordthemad]

if you read the imperial guard novels (and not just the gaunts ghosts novels) you know all of this stuff

heck you just need to scan through the rule books to pick up on this

its a shame that a game that has so much bad ass potential gets marketed to kids for money spinning

 

[Littaly]

if you read the imperial guard novels (and not just the gaunts ghosts novels) you know all of this stuff

heck you just need to scan through the rule books to pick up on this

its a shame that a game that has so much bad ass potential gets marketed to kids for money spinning

How is Warhammer marketed to kids?

I know a lot of kids pick it up for various reasons, partially because that's how I got started, but I would not say that it is marketed towards them. Actually, I would barely call it marketed at all.

But yeah, it's probably darker than any other universe out there. And that's probably where the appeal lies.

 

[Kollega]

Wankhammer could be better if it was Crapsack World (life sucks,funny),not World Half Empty (life sucks,serious). If only Space Marines wore bling,if only Dark Eldar pulled their own guts out as a way of saying "hello",Chaos guys jumped off a cliff because they are Stupid Chaotic Evil,and Tau were all perpetually stoned hippies... We all can dream.

By the way,it's most entertaining one because people are afraid to spoof Wankhammer. They fear that militant fanboys will tear them apart,then eat pieces and build aforementioned skull trone out of what remains.

Come to think of it,how WH40000 universe did not collapse on itself yet?

 

[Jaythulhu]

Space Marines with bling?

You mean the Emperor's Children / Noise Marines?

 

[JemJar]

Space Marines with bling?

You mean the Emperor's Children / Noise Marines?

Wolf guard - extra gold chain bits and FUR everywhere. Big pimpin'.

 

[Sonicron]

The Messiah has been locked up on life support for the past ten millennia, laid low by his most beloved son, and an incomprehensibly vast Church Militant commits hourly atrocities in his name.

Best line of the whole thing. Hysterical. xD

Come to think of it,how WH40000 universe did not collapse on itself yet?

Not sure... but the Imperium is still standing because there's a new Eye of Terror behind the Golden Throne and said Messiah is keeping it at bay using the energy he's syphoning off the 10k psykers each day.
Ultimately it's a perpetual stalemate, and since none of the individual factions involved are willing to cooperate in order to gain the upper hand, it'll stay that way.

 

[Internet Kraken]

Thanks a lot. I just wasted over an hour on that website because of that link.

 

[GloatingSwine]

Wankhammer could be better if it was Crapsack World (life sucks,funny),not World Half Empty (life sucks,serious). If only Space Marines wore bling,if only Dark Eldar pulled their own guts out as a way of saying "hello",Chaos guys jumped off a cliff because they are Stupid Chaotic Evil,and Tau were all perpetually stoned hippies... We all can dream.

By the way,it's most entertaining one because people are afraid to spoof Wankhammer. They fear that militant fanboys will tear them apart,then eat pieces and build aforementioned skull trone out of what remains.

Come to think of it,how WH40000 universe did not collapse on itself yet?

Warhammer is silly. How can you take a universe which spawned the Orks, galactic Milwall supporters on one giant pub crawl, seriously? Or, as mentioned, Noise Marines, hair-rockers in power armour that kill you with power chords.

Or Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium!

The point of WH40K is to turn the GRIMDARK up so far it ends up silly because of how grim and dark it is.

Ultimately it's a perpetual stalemate, and since none of the individual factions involved are willing to cooperate in order to gain the upper hand, it'll stay that way.

If anyone actually achieved anything in 40K, Games Workshop would have to stop selling toy soldiers. And that is why it won't.

 

[Kollega]

Warhammer is silly. How can you take a universe which spawned the Orks, galactic Milwall supporters on one giant pub crawl, seriously? Or, as mentioned, Noise Marines, hair-rockers in power armour that kill you with power chords.

Or Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium!

The point of WH40K is to turn the GRIMDARK up so far it ends up silly because of how grim and dark it is.

First off,i'm pretty sure most Wankhammer fans loathe Chiapas Cain novels for being *GASP!!!* humorous.

Second,i don't find GRIMDAKR funny even when it's ridiculously overblown. Now,if Chaos represented death/heavy metal,Space Marines - gangsta rap,Guardsmen - pompous orchestral music,Orks - power metal,Dark Eldar - whiny emo groups,etcetera,and it would all be one big musical... It would be REALLY REALLY FUNNY. And SO entertaining. But it will never happen because actual humor is forcibly absent - there's only things so awesome they tend to be funny.

In short,i like Warhammer 40000. I dislike it's inability to have anything other than brick for a face. Sure,brick for a face can be kinda amusing first time you see it,but it's not roll-on-the-floor funny. Plus,there's whole "indescribably horrific death and ethernal torment afterwards is uncool" thing...

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Because it's fun. Stop pissing on that fun.

 

[GloatingSwine]

But it will never happen because actual humor is forcibly absent - there's only things so awesome they tend to be funny.

This is the game where one of the units was named because the design staff thought it would be hilarous for thirteen year olds to be running around their shops shouting "my nob's bigger than your nob".

You know nothing about the thought process behind Warhammer or Games Workshop (and before you accuse me of the same, a good friend of mine was editor of White Dwarf for quite some time.)

 

[Valiance]

"Badass Biker (How much more badass do you get than screaming green maniacs on ramshackle scrap-metal motorbikes laden with giant machine guns? Oh yeah, that would be the Super Soldiers on giant armoured bikes the size of cars. Or the evil Super Soldiers on hell motorbikes covered in blades and skulls... or maybe the space-elf knights on flying bikes with laser lances... or the evil space elves that can fly their bladed flying death bikes with enough skill to cut specific arteries.)"

That part made me shit myself laughing and I can't read anymore, it's just too funny.

 

[Kevvers]

This is the game where one of the units was named because the design staff thought it would be hilarous for thirteen year olds to be running around their shops shouting "my nob's bigger than your nob".

Gah!! I knew it!!

Me: My space marine is going to shoot at that ork there.
My bro: Which ork?
Me: The one over there with the massive armour on.
My bro: I'm sorry, WHICH ONE...?
Me: You know which one.
My bro: What ARE you talking about? I have no idea!
Me: C'mon...
My bro: Say it...
Me: *sigh* My space marine wants to shoot your nob.
[hysterical laughter ensues]