8 Months on and it's not getting easier - How did you get through a nasty breakup?
- Thread starter Roocifer
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Yep, when I split from my ex almost exactly a year ago I spent three months under a duvet drinking three bottles of scotch a day. It's only now I find myself not thinking about her so much. It works diferently for everybody but it will take as long as it takes. It may not be the best thing to here but time really does help. Sounds like you are doing some really constructive things with your life and personaly I think thats the best thing to do. I promise you at some point it really won't be that bad. There may have been no problem you could not have fixed but if she says she didn't love you enough then she is not the one for you. Don't settle for anything less somebody who loves you as much as you love them. And as you say, don't give yourself such a hard time. It will all be ok. 
As a musican you have that old tried and true method of making the whole thing into a song and making a million bucks.. Or just get on a constant bender and stay that way till a) your liver fails, or b) another girl pulls you out of it and you live happily ever after...
Personally I'd go for the song if I had that talent =)
Anyway, hang in there, and focus on the good things in your life. Have fun, do what you like and try not to think about her too much.
Personally I'd go for the song if I had that talent =)
Anyway, hang in there, and focus on the good things in your life. Have fun, do what you like and try not to think about her too much.
I would say try and learn from this...make sure you give more attention to your girl in the future (that is, if you didn't give as much as you could already). On the other hand, maybe if she was willing to just go off with an old mate, well, perhaps it could never last? My girlfriend's over 400 miles away and yet no guy has pulled her from me. She's totally dedicated to me. Perhaps it was something on her part rather than yours?Roocifer said:
Also, do you still keep in contact with her? Or have any way of contacting her?
From what I've learned in my life, (it's not gonna be a lot help) is that pain lasts longer when you allow yourself to daydream about your ex. So when I figured that, I made myself consciously to break the thought pattern: whenever I caught myself thinking about him, about how wonderful he was, or the moments I loved with him I interrupt (smack the pink glasses of the floor that is) the chain of thought with reality check: if he loved me - he would've been here with me. And then I'd start do something else, until the next time I forget myself and start floating again AND AGAIN interrupt it. And pretty soon, a new pattern/reflex is made in my brain and that new one is not wearing pink tinted glasses, but instead is saying HE (in your case she) DOESN'T LOVE YOU. And love is a game for two people in love, not for one dreaming about how it could be with the other.
It doesn't matter do you go back to that place once a week, once a day, or no matter how often. Bringing the reality in it helped me. I wish you good luck, and yeah... (sorry for saying it) time will do it's part.
It doesn't matter do you go back to that place once a week, once a day, or no matter how often. Bringing the reality in it helped me. I wish you good luck, and yeah... (sorry for saying it) time will do it's part.
We were texting about 2 - 3 months ago, but then the new guy (my old mate) saw that we were texting and I was trying to meet up with her to chat, and he basically told her to not talk to me or get a new phone or something. So I got a final message saying essentially Dont text her cos she wont reply.Vanguard_Ex said:
We spoken a little by text since then; At one point she said 'I thought you were the one but maybe not just now' - That messed me up for a little bit!
Aaaaanyhow, KindOfnElf is on to something there - I just find it hard to de-rail my thoughts when I start thinking about stuff.
But yar, general thing seems to be It sucks, it will get better over time, focus on the good and try to ignore the bad. I think it would help me to find someone else, and it has (a little) in the 3 times or so Ive nearly had a relationship since. I guess I just gotta keep my chin up till I find the one that sticks.
I can't really help with this i'm afraid. I've made a point of avoiding relationships both out of a genuine lack of a need for a close social relationship as well not wanting to get broken up over this stuff. I have gotten close a few times though, and those experiences have reinforced my stance on not wanting a relationship to a degree. In thsoe cases, when it became clear that things were all done, it really depended upon how seriously I took that relationship. Funny thing is though, the most serious one I had ended up not leading me towards any depressing period in its aftermath. Others on a more minor scale on the other hand have bothered me even years later, though that only happens during passing moments when I have nothing else to think about. Its not really a problem anymore though.
I guess what I want to say is... this stuff probably would not bother you as much if you change your expectations or alter what it is that you are interested in with life. My priorities keep me away from dwelling on relationship stuff. It just keeps me dwelling on other, more serious things. >_>
I guess what I want to say is... this stuff probably would not bother you as much if you change your expectations or alter what it is that you are interested in with life. My priorities keep me away from dwelling on relationship stuff. It just keeps me dwelling on other, more serious things. >_>
Hmm...maybe a little closure is what you need. Tell her how much you miss her and just be completely honest. Apologise for anything you truly know you should.Roocifer said:
Good man, I was single for over 3 years before I found my girlfriend, and I could have so, so easily not met her at all. Keep your head up.
This is something I have been interested in, as to why I find so much solace and validation in a relationship. I think Id benefit from changing my expectations/goals to something not relationship related - hence the whole music and other things Ive taken up. Cant seem to really shift my thinking awaay from the whole idea of 'needing' a relationship :/Yureina said:
Well I just dropped her a text saying how are you doing, I miss you.
Got sent a 2 text message back from the bloke. Totally ripped me to shreds, syaing shit like shes realised she never cared about me, She's finally with someone who treats her well etc
I shouldn't have texted, thats for sure. Feel utterly f***ed up now.
Got sent a 2 text message back from the bloke. Totally ripped me to shreds, syaing shit like shes realised she never cared about me, She's finally with someone who treats her well etc
I shouldn't have texted, thats for sure. Feel utterly f***ed up now.
Listen up because I'm only going to tell you this once
***** Dependency is no laughing matter. Addiction to a ***** can fuck with your friends your health, and scary enough even your money
Once you've become dependent on a ***** to make you full, you've lost the battle.
***** Dependency is no laughing matter. Addiction to a ***** can fuck with your friends your health, and scary enough even your money
Once you've become dependent on a ***** to make you full, you've lost the battle.