A 16 year old boy on teen sex.

[King of the Sandbox]

For me, there are two things you need for a proper ride on the bumpin' uglies train...

Being willing to accept responsibility for any people you might make in the process, and a partner who's willing to do the same.

Until then, it's best to stay in the H&BJ depature room.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Do you have to stick to your religion? One of my friends was raised Catholic and she went against it. It's your choice after all.
You shouldn't have unprotected sex the first time; it's a common myth that you can't get pregnant with your first time. My auntie did, she was only young.
Hooray for being on the pill.
Anyway, I don't believe in that no sex before marriage but I'm not religious a all.
And your story reminded me of an old man telling an epic tale of his childhood lol

 

[Kadamon]

First off: You're still fucking young.
Second off: As you can see, the relationship didn't work well in the end anyway.

If people don't have something to hold out for, then we simply won't. We're all shallow creatures and if we give someone our all then there is nothing left to work for. Nothing left to discover. It's sad but it's true.

 

[Pennyy9]

First off: You're still fucking young.
Second off: As you can see, the relationship didn't work well in the end anyway.

If people don't have something to hold out for, then we simply won't. We're all shallow creatures and if we give someone our all then there is nothing left to work for. Nothing left to discover. It's sad but it's true.

You're saying in a nutshell that we need to save something simply because we'll get bored if we run out of things to give to other people?

 

[BlindMessiah94]

Not even halfway through highschool, still shouldn't have done it.

Early graduate my friend. But please explain why I shouldn't have.

Despite what you may think, You're not even close to being adults. Not even young ones. Even if you understand exactly what's going on doesn't change your age nor the possible consequences.

This, and also I ask:

Are you old enough to raise a child? Are you financially stable enough to raise a child? Are you willing to make the sacrifices it takes to raise a child?

If the answer to any of these is no then you have no business having sex. If you can't handle the consequences, especially considering you had unprotected sex, then you have no business having it frankly. I'm not saying this is specific to just teens mind you.

I really don't care about the sex before marriage or whatever concept, its more about the question of can you handle the responsibilities that come with the very adult choice of having sex?

 

[Kurokami]

Snippit

First of all, good work on the writing, truly. Some people post like children and are immediately discredited as such, you seem to have actually put some thought and effort (if you can call it that, I suppose for some it would take none) to write this. So yeah, case in point, well done.

Secondly and more to the point, I think its just a matter of you compromising your religion. If she truly believes in god and that religion then it may well mean damnation for her son, or simply she feels betrayed that you would do something she had forbidden as part of her own identity. Its difficult for me to understand a religious person's perspective, especially when I don't fully understand said religion's laws/customs, but are you here to say that her reaction isn't just or the her religion? You seem clear in understanding that she loves you however, which is great. (Here it seems parents are more neglectful than anything)

As for the case of having sex before you're 18, here it is legal at 16 and I've heard of orgies and sexually active couples at the age 14. My position on it is that its fine if you're mature in mind, and you seem to fit that.

In any case, I'm sorry for the girl, her loss (it would seem).

 

[Pennyy9]

Not even halfway through highschool, still shouldn't have done it.

Early graduate my friend. But please explain why I shouldn't have.

Despite what you may think, You're not even close to being adults. Not even young ones. Even if you understand exactly what's going on doesn't change your age nor the possible consequences.

This, and also I ask:

Are you old enough to raise a child? Are you financially stable enough to raise a child? Are you willing to make the sacrifices it takes to raise a child?

If the answer to any of these is no then you have no business having sex. If you can't handle the consequences, especially considering you had unprotected sex, then you have no business having it frankly. I'm not saying this is specific to just teens mind you.

I really don't care about the sex before marriage or whatever concept, its more about the question of can you handle the responsibilities that come with the very adult choice of having sex?

You mean the very adult consequence of getting pregnant. They are VERY mutually exclusive. I'd do anything for my flesh and blood, but I couldn't give a child a good life, no. Don't misunderstand me, I'm promoting protected sex, and NOT unprotected. I made a mistake then, because I didn't know then what I do now. Please don't misunderstand me.

 

[Pennyy9]

Snippit

First of all, good work on the writing, truly. Some people post like children and are immediately discredited as such, you seem to have actually put some thought and effort (if you can call it that, I suppose for some it would take none) to write this. So yeah, case in point, well done.

Secondly and more to the point, I think its just a matter of you compromising your religion. If she truly believes in god and that religion then it may well mean damnation for her son, or simply she feels betrayed that you would do something she had forbidden as part of her own identity. Its difficult for me to understand a religious person's perspective, especially when I don't fully understand said religion's laws/customs, but are you here to say that her reaction isn't just or the her religion? You seem clear in understanding that she loves you however, which is great. (Here it seems parents are more neglectful than anything)

As for the case of having sex before you're 18, here it is legal at 16 and I've heard of orgies and sexually active couples at the age 14. My position on it is that its fine if you're mature in mind, and you seem to fit that.

In any case, I'm sorry for the girl, her loss (it would seem).

first of all <3


second. Yes, I try to be mature. I just feel the need to share a story and point of view.

 

[SpecklePattern]

...
You most likely love your children very much, and want to protect them. Sex is something you share with someone you love. Does making that love official and binding suddenly legitimize the act of reproduction? No, sex means a lot to some, and little to others. If you treat it with respect, it's not going to be a big deal, unless you make it one. Safe sex is easy. Pill, condom, done. Now don't get me wrong, it's not 100% effective, but there are a colossal number of teens who don't practice safe sex. And that isn't DIRECTLY because their parents let them have sex, it's because they didn't learn about it. If you keep sex from them, they are going to stumble headfirst into it, as I did. Sex is a gift to be shared among lovers, not a stamp you get on a marraige certificate.

Well you have deep thoughts for 16 years old guy. Respects to you.

And I totally agree. "Sex is a gift to be shared among lovers". Like you said. It purely isn't the love, but a gift to shared with lovers. People often confuse sex to love (like perhaps in the stamp-of-love-after-marriage thoughts.) Love in my sight is to share your entire every day life with someone just living together and learn life together. Sex is a spice to that life of lovers and thus a part of life. (Or to have children which is also part of life.) In my mind it is unnatural to fight things like lust and passion with the one girl/boy that you love and who loves you. Why not protect yourself and do it

[offtopic?]
And I'm sorry that for you that you broke up. But I think that I would have broke my current girlfriend like in few months if we would have met when we were 16. People change rapidly physically and mentally in that age field. Hardly any people that I know are together when they started dating as teenagers (if they didn't get childrens.) I don't know what I am talking, comforting you or just stating an opinion? Jzzzz. I'm sorry for that You don't need comforting, just a new girl with similar witty insight for life like yours
[/offtopic?]

 

[JonnoStrife]

Snip.

I'm another 16 year old who's story is pretty damn similar. I change towns and all the chicks latched on because of new-guy-syndrome. A year later I was getting laid regularly. I told my parents when they asked coz hey, it was under their roof right?

They didn't skitz out and they were pretty cool with it.

If parents love their kid they should let them go for it. I say 16 is legal so why is there a problem?

 

[Pennyy9]

Snip.

I'm another 16 year old who's story is pretty damn similar. I change towns and all the chicks latched on because of new-guy-syndrome. A year later I was getting laid regularly. I told my parents when they asked coz hey, it was under their roof right?

They didn't skitz out and they were pretty cool with it.

If parents love their kid they should let them go for it. I say 16 is legal so why is there a problem?

Without a doubt, that's the most nebulous and intangible response I have ever seen. I don't want to be mean, or anything, but when you put it in that wording, you aren't getting your ideas or meaning across. Articulate your thoughts coherently and I'd love to hear what you have to say, I just can't really understand you.

 

[Layz92]

*shrug* I say rock on. If you love each other it is an experience that can bring you closer than any other and no amount of religious bile or "you're too young" nay sayers can take that away. As long as she isn't pregnant you are in the clear. Sure there are risks with it but life IS risks. It's like society wants everyone to die without having lived. So to quote Rocco "Screw it! Do it all I say" smoking, booze, psychedelics, sex, I don't judge. You seem conscious of consequences and you do it all protected now so you've grown and kudos to you.

 

[Jaqen Hghar]

...this post makes me sad, I'm 19 and not only have I never EVER had a girlfriend, I've also never had sex, or been on a date, or even HUGGED a girl who wasn't a member of my immediate family.
*sigh* OT: My thoughts on sex are simple, do it when you feel you are ready, it is a parents job, not to hide it from you, but to prepare you for it, to make sure that you are ready for it when the time comes, people are far too sheltered in todays society, and in all honesty most kids have sex around 16 to 18 years old, most before high school is over for them. What you did was perfectly normal, and the only part that felt truly wrong was when you had unprotected sex and she wasn't a virgin. There could have been some very serious problems from that, and even though a condom isn't 100% sure fire, it is still better than getting an STD and wondering what could have happened if you had used one. Over all this is a fine story, and one you should be proud of. Better than being a total overweight nerd like me who can't even talk to people, let alone a girl.

Don't worry about it. I was 20 when I got my first girlfriend. That lasted for a month. Then I went several months without anyone. Suddenly I got another girlfriend, who I, regrettably had my first time with. It ended a month after that due to her being a bit of a slut.
Then I actually met someone new quite fast. And I am with her still, as we live together. And I am 23 now. So I guess what I am saying is, just be yourself and don't rush it. If you think way to much about it, or try to hard to get a girlfriend, you will most likely fail.
I agree with the rest of your post.

OT: I agree with a lot of people here. If you felt it was right, and you don't regret it now, then there isn't that big of a deal. Was very unwise not using protection, but hey. You are still young and stupid Damn, I feel old now...
Anyway, about your mother being angry... screw that. She is angry because of some self-imposed rules put on by religion. A rule which is asinine, seeing how marriage isn't what it used to be. So I'd say don't worry about that.

 

[Pennyy9]

*shrug* I say rock on. If you love each other it is an experience that can bring you closer than any other and no amount of religious bile or "your too young" nay sayers can take that away. As long as she isn't pregnant you are in the clear. Sure there are risks with it but life IS risks. It's like society wants everyone to die without having lived. So to quote Rocco "Screw it! Do it all I say" smoking, booze, psychedelics I don't judge.

See that's the thing. Exactly how you put it. People can play the "Immature card" whenever you admit it's a risk. It's as if adults held this omnipotent wisdom about which risks were applicable to the "Part of life" category and which fell into the "You're immature, you're taking a risk" one. It's irresponsible to not point this difference out.

 

[Pennyy9]

...this post makes me sad, I'm 19 and not only have I never EVER had a girlfriend, I've also never had sex, or been on a date, or even HUGGED a girl who wasn't a member of my immediate family.
*sigh* OT: My thoughts on sex are simple, do it when you feel you are ready, it is a parents job, not to hide it from you, but to prepare you for it, to make sure that you are ready for it when the time comes, people are far too sheltered in todays society, and in all honesty most kids have sex around 16 to 18 years old, most before high school is over for them. What you did was perfectly normal, and the only part that felt truly wrong was when you had unprotected sex and she wasn't a virgin. There could have been some very serious problems from that, and even though a condom isn't 100% sure fire, it is still better than getting an STD and wondering what could have happened if you had used one. Over all this is a fine story, and one you should be proud of. Better than being a total overweight nerd like me who can't even talk to people, let alone a girl.

Don't worry about it. I was 20 when I got my first girlfriend. That lasted for a month. Then I went several months without anyone. Suddenly I got another girlfriend, who I, regrettably had my first time with. It ended a month after that due to her being a bit of a slut.
Then I actually met someone new quite fast. And I am with her still, as we live together. And I am 23 now. So I guess what I am saying is, just be yourself and don't rush it. If you think way to much about it, or try to hard to get a girlfriend, you will most likely fail.
I agree with the rest of your post.

OT: I agree with a lot of people here. If you felt it was right, and you don't regret it now, then there isn't that big of a deal. Was very unwise not using protection, but hey. You are still young and stupid Damn, I feel old now...
Anyway, about your mother being angry... screw that. She is angry because of some self-imposed rules put on by religion. A rule which is asinine, seeing how marriage isn't what it used to be. So I'd say don't worry about that.

Good point.
People get angry on religion's behalf because all religions hold their dogma to be self evident and irrefutable. You can't argue with a true believer when they remove objectivity from the equation.

 

[Therumancer]

My thought is that there is no real problem with having sex simply for fun, as long as you practice it safely.

I believe it's okay for teens to have sex with other teens, but not adults, and of course again the practice of, and education in, safe sex. I am one of those who figures we won't stop teens from having sex, and it's part of growing up, and learning about life. We aren't going to stop it, so I am one of those who encourages mandatory education (ie can't be opted out of by parents), and the distribution of free condoms and birth control in high schools.

I think people take the subject way too seriously at times.

On a metaphysical level, I am a Christian, but not a deeply spiritual one. I neither believe the Pope is Infallible, nor that the bible is 100% accurate, mystically preserved record of god's will. Maybe I'll suffer for this, but I desperatly want to believe god is a benevolent being overall. I do not think god punishes people for sex outside of marriage or whatever, but I do believe that people probably changed the bible to say so, and that it was a good idea at the time in days when reliable birth control was uncommon to say the least, childbirth was risky, and fighting over women in a very lethal sense was not uncommon. A fear of god doubtlessly helped hold societies together, and keep things fairly orderly.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

Not even halfway through highschool, still shouldn't have done it.

Early graduate my friend. But please explain why I shouldn't have.

Despite what you may think, You're not even close to being adults. Not even young ones. Even if you understand exactly what's going on doesn't change your age nor the possible consequences.

This, and also I ask:

Are you old enough to raise a child? Are you financially stable enough to raise a child? Are you willing to make the sacrifices it takes to raise a child?

If the answer to any of these is no then you have no business having sex. If you can't handle the consequences, especially considering you had unprotected sex, then you have no business having it frankly. I'm not saying this is specific to just teens mind you.

I really don't care about the sex before marriage or whatever concept, its more about the question of can you handle the responsibilities that come with the very adult choice of having sex?

You mean the very adult consequence of getting pregnant. They are VERY mutually exclusive. I'd do anything for my flesh and blood, but I couldn't give a child a good life, no. Don't misunderstand me, I'm promoting protected sex, and NOT unprotected. I made a mistake then, because I didn't know then what I do now. Please don't misunderstand me.

I don't misunderstand you.
You just proved my point. If you didn't have the knowledge, maturity, or responsibility to educate yourself before having sex, so that you could have safe, protected sex, then you weren't ready to do it. Maybe sex and pregnancy are too very different things, but when you go around having unprotected sex you've pretty much smushed them together. You said yourself, you made a mistake. That mistake could've been a lot bigger if she had become pregnant. I'm not saying marriage magically makes you smarter and more responsible. Marriage has nothing to do with it really for me. I just feel that people should not be having sex unless they are ready. To me, that means several things:

1) Hopefully it is with someone you love, or at the very least care for
2) You are not doing it simply to "get er done"
3) You have discussed it with your partner, and have both gone to a doctor to get tested (not all STD's are sexually transmitted oddly enough)
4) You've both discussed and will use protection
5) You are both fully aware of the consequences if she does get pregnant

Trust me I am actually jealous of you. You want to know the first time I had sex? 24. It was not with someone I cared about. It was a one night stand and fling. If she had become pregnant that is not a relationship I would've wanted to be in. I regretted it immediately. I can admit now I was in no place to have sex, and I let the pressure of ending my virginity get to me. So I am glad you found someone you loved to do it with. I didn't unfortunately. But I was old enough and had done enough research to understand the importance of safe sex and the consequences. Even though it would not be ideal, I would still have been able to raise a child if an accident had happened. If I was 16 and I had done that? Forget about it.

Although I don't agree with your mother, I do agree that you should've waited. Not until marriage, but at least until you were mature enough to act like adults about the situation. Honestly, to me, you didn't.

You snuck around behind your parent's backs from what I read, you lied to them, and you didn't use protection. That's hardly the mature way of going about it.

 

[iLikeHippos]

Your mother seems to really be in her religion, and actually think you might go to hell for this.

I'm assuming she's greatly worried about your future and what you might do. It has very little to do about the sex thing in the first place I'm guessing.

But, you should talk to your mom that she shouldn't worry too much and try to make her understand that you really loved the girl, and wasn't just outright horny + stupid.

That's what I think at least.

 

[Ghost1800]

If you keep sex from them, they are going to stumble headfirst into it, as I did. Sex is a gift to be shared among lovers, not a stamp you get on a marraige certificate.

So I take it the whole 'abstinence-only' sex-ed is not your thing?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abstinence-only_sex_education

I don't mean to derail anything, but I noticed that small snip and there's been a lot of discussion on this recently in my area. Personally I think it's irresponsible not to teach kids all of their options in terms of prevention and reducing risk in the hopes that they'll 'Just Say No' as it were...