A Bioshock review...in dactylic heptameter!

[Logan Westbrook]

Misspellings? Oh you are on thin ice sonny!

Don't you love irony?

What irony?

EDIT: If you are referring to the way I have spelt 'misspellings' I'd double check your facts before making snide comments, as I've spelt it correctly.

 

[Gigantor]

What irony?

Colour me confused. I think Mr.Pill was suggesting you'd spelled 'misspellings' wrong, but I'm pretty sure 'misspellings' is right.

they give you gifts, because if it was harder to save them, very few people would.

Indeed, you're probably correct. Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd? I was saying it would have been an interesting move by the devs to make the right thing to do (I'm pretty sure not killing children is the 'right' thing) a noticeably more difficult course to take. Should the player need compensating for sparing the lives of children? It belittles the moral questions involved, is all.

I would read your reviews any time, but probably look at them like I do with Zero Punctuation. It's informative, but it's so focused on being funny (which it is) that I would probably use a more direct and serious review to decide if I want to buy the game.

I wasn't trying to be funny at the expense of being a little bit thoughtful, though I can appreciate it might come across that way. I certainly wouldn't rely on my writing to decide whether or not to buy a game! It strikes me that nowadays there's such a flood of information that writing another straightforward review thing is only going to be preaching to the converted. Thanks for the kind words though!

 

[wilsonscrazybed]

Indeed, you're probably correct. Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd? I was saying it would have been an interesting move by the devs to make the right thing to do (I'm pretty sure not killing children is the 'right' thing) a noticeably more difficult course to take. Should the player need compensating for sparing the lives of children? It belittles the moral questions involved, is all.

I read an article a few months back about how you actually get more benefits from saving the little sisters, let me see if I can find it between classes.

 

[Snapshot720]

I wasn't trying to be funny at the expense of being a little bit thoughtful, though I can appreciate it might come across that way. I certainly wouldn't rely on my writing to decide whether or not to buy a game! It strikes me that nowadays there's such a flood of information that writing another straightforward review thing is only going to be preaching to the converted. Thanks for the kind words though!

Well to be honest in some cases I do rely on reviews. Take Sins of a Solar Empire. There is no way to rent, or try that game without a purchase. Usually there are demos or rentals, but reviews can be a big help in deciding if a game is worthy of a purchase. You also have to take more than one into consideration for it to be effective, as everyone sees things differently.

For the most part I get what your saying about writing straight forward reviews, though I don't agree that it's only going to preach to the converted. A straight forward review usually leaves opinion in the dust, or should, and just inform about how the game functions in practice. It's also a way to find out about games that are under rated by the masses (Ico / Psychonauts ). Your friend wont tell you about it, but that shiny 9/10 might make you consider at least a rental.

 

[Drong]

I was thinking to myself just the other day it had been a while since I?d had the pleasure of reading one of your reviews and then you produce one of your best yet, thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish.

Now please, please get in touch with the escapist about becoming an official review,at the very least your reviews should be stickied, I?m warning you if you don't I?ll have to start a petition thread

Anyway please keep writing your reviews as you've helped brighten up my dull grey Monday in the office.

And remember kids, don't do Cake or Triple-sod or Yellow Bentines and definetly don?t touch that Clarky Cat use your nonce-sense!

 

[The Shade]

I only just got Bioshock, but everything you said (wrote?) made me say, "Yeah! What's with that, anyway?" I especially liked the part about Vita-Chambres and willing suspension of disbelief.

...I usually just lure the Big Daddies to the nearest Vita-Chambre to facilitate the battle...

Gratz on a well spoken (written?) review.

 

[Calobi]

You do seem to possess a mastery of the language. I would love to read more reviews by you. However,

I don't think I'd make much of an autobiographer, I'm too fond of making things up for the sake of it. There's a very real danger you'd end up as a famous World War II General, or the first French woman to set foot on the moon.

You can't make someone else's autobiography. No one's perfect, though, so I won't mentally deduct from your writing prowess.

 

[Gigantor]

You can't make someone else's autobiography.

My father read this thread and pointed that very error out to me only two days ago. That's pretty darned spooky. I never could keep the difference in mind between the two- I prefer to force the word 'hagiography' in instead and distract everyone from the fact I can't tell the others apart.

 

[Fire Daemon]

Good review. It didn't review much but it was good.

 

[wilsonscrazybed]

You can't make someone else's autobiography.

My father read this thread and pointed that very error out to me only two days ago. That's pretty darned spooky. I never could keep the difference in mind between the two- I prefer to force the word 'hagiography' in instead and distract everyone from the fact I can't tell the others apart.

You could still ghost-write my autobiography couldn't you?

 

[Gigantor]

OED to the rescue!

autobiography n.an account of a person's life written by that person.

So as long as nobody found out, we could pretend it was an autobiography. As long as we don't post the plan on an internet message board,

 

[stompy]

Well done. Too bad TE hasn't hired you yet.

 

[mshcherbatskaya]

I think, between you and Yahtzee, I never need to read reviewers at any other site ever again. They can all just pack up and go home.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Hell, did you know that no woman has yet set foot on the moon, French or otherwise? Weird.

No, but I believe that information deserves a bump for this wonderful (if somewhat drifty) review.

They were going to, but man had promised he'd tidy it up before she got there, and who's going to look after the kids?

[This is a joke]

 

[PurpleRain]

I think, between you and Yahtzee, I never need to read reviewers at any other site ever again. They can all just pack up and go home.

You speak words of wisdom.

Not many reviewers seem to actually take you into the game itself and disscuss the 'why's of a game inside that world, instead just nitpick it to death. You do a great job and everyone here's batting for you.

 

[Easykill]

I think, between you and Yahtzee, I never need to read reviewers at any other site ever again. They can all just pack up and go home.

Well said.