A boy problem of course *Updated*

[Safaia]

No making fun of me please I am kind of pathetic.

Back story: a year and a half ago I was an avid FFXI player. One day this guy messaged me out of the blue and said he went to my website that was in my bazaar comment. Long story short we started talking a bunch and I could tell he liked me but I got gut punched by another guy the previous year. I know dating someone from a game is lame, even more so when they live on the other end of the country, but I gave it a shot anyway. It went really well, he had patience since I have issues and what not. Then he said he loved me and I flipped out. I dumped him because I'm a ***** and we pretty much stopped talking.

Last few months and present day: My MSN got hacked and I was sending out random messages to people. He was still on my friends list and he was the one who sent me a message saying what had happened. We started talking again and the more we talked the more I realized what a bloody moron I was for kicking him out the door like I did. I never stopped liking him he just freaked me out since we hadn't met yet. We're talking a lot but half the time it feels like the conversation is like pulling teeth. He asked me to visit again and I said I wanted to this time. It scares me to fly from Utah to Maryland to meet someone I don't know and I don't have any friends or family in the area. I just get the vibe he's humoring me at best and I know I hurt him but I don't know if he's legitimately interested. I've said I was and he hasn't said one way or another.

TLDR: There is a boy I dated at one point, I dumped him, I want to give it another shot but I get the vibe he's messing with me. What should I do?

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Dont do it. Unless you've establised a VERY-VERY-VERY-VERY-VERY strong relationship with this person, talk very frequently for years etc: DO NOT fly yourself off to another country for a person you've never bonded to 100%. that's how kidnapping happens.

 

[Marik2]

Depends, have you two seen what each other looks like?

So that you each get an idea of what the other might be like.

 

[GothmogII]

Dont do it. Unless you've establised a VERY-VERY-VERY-VERY-VERY strong relationship with this person, talk very frequently for years etc: DO NOT fly yourself off to another country for a person you've never bonded to 100%. that's how kidnapping happens.

I'd tend to agree with Ziadaine there. However, if you do intend to go, bring a friend or two, or a relative with you. (Though, unless you meant you don't have either where you are currrently?) You're apparently only a year older than me, but that's still just not a good idea to head off by yourself adult or no.

 

[Safaia]

We have skyped and talked on the phone since almost when we first met. We're actually on skype as I type this. And it's the other side of the country not another one but the point still stands. I just feel like I'm being overly paranoid.

 

[ShadowKatt]

Dont do it. Unless you've establised a VERY-VERY-VERY-VERY-VERY strong relationship with this person, talk very frequently for years etc: DO NOT fly yourself off to another country for a person you've never bonded to 100%. that's how kidnapping happens.

I'd tend to agree with Ziadaine there. However, if you do intend to go, bring a friend or two, or a relative with you. (Though, unless you meant you don't have either where you are currrently?) You're apparently only a year older than me, but that's still just not a good idea to head off by yourself adult or no.

Double Quote! Advice x2!

I tend to agree with both of them. Believe it or not, I met my S/O in a game, and lemme tell you...it's hard thing to make work especially when distance is involved. Myself and her have been together for about, oh, seven years now, and just NOW are we finally getting together. It's been an on/off kinda thing because there's drama in every relationship, but over those years we've gotten to know just about everything that can be known about a purrson. However, it took a long time to get to that point.

You talked with this guy before, and you've talked to him for a few months now, so at least there's communication. You can always make the effort to make a working relationship, however don't rush out to the nearest airport and head off. Even if you could hook up right now and he wasn't a kidnapper, you could end up doing more damage than good. That, and, yeah, he could totally be a kidnapper/rapist/murder/furry.

 

[Thee Prisoner]

You are not being overly paranoid. IF you are going to meet him in person, have him come to you and meet at a neutral site, with a friend hanging out in the back ground. Don't give him your full address or full name, just in case. Just be CAREFUL.

That being said, I have met some online friends in real life and made some good relationships.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Don't do it. I never like the sound of people meeting each other online. It has a high potential to end badly; plus, it can be costly.

If you are going to do it (please, consider what we're saying), don't go alone and unarmed.

 

[Safaia]

I want to take someone with me but what would that other person do while I'm there? It feels unfair to drag someone to the cost and leave them there. And he says he won't come out here :/

 

[vxicepickxv]

If you really feel like going to see him, I would suggest the first tour being a few days of mostly sightseeing, eating in restaurants, and basically staying in public places for the most part while you get to know him better in person. I'd would probably fly there, spend a few days on a tourist vacation in the area.

Normally I'm not a fan of letting everybody know that you're not home, but getting an account that's easy to update on the road, like a twitter account that lets you say what's going on is actually a good idea. Get a few friends to watch it for you while you're enjoying your vacation, and there you go.

No making fun of me please I am kind of pathetic.

You may have found somebody, so you're doing better than me.

 

[Pumpkinmancer]

1.) You could take a chance becuase if it does not work out, so what. There are other people out there and a relationship that did'nt work out is not too terrible a thing.

2.) You can stop talking to him and take him off your lists and move on with your life. If you dont know if you want to be with this guy why are you stressing over it?

3.) I used these number becuase I like to number things sometimes. So this 3 is here because I needed a 3.

Really though, you dumped him then kept talking to him. Is it he that is messing with you, or are you the one messing with him?



Edit: Becuase the retard in me had control for a sec there, and messed up my words and speaking...

 

[IBlackKiteI]

Kick him in the nuts, always gets their attention...

...in all seriousness it seems like you don't actually know the guy, no offense. So I'd say don't do it.

Also the pic is awesome.

 

[GothmogII]

I want to take someone with me but what would that other person do while I'm there? It feels unfair to drag someone to the cost and leave them there. And he says he won't come out here :/

That sets off alarm bells in my head, maybe unwarranted but, perhaps you should inquire further about his reasons why, they could be perfectly reasonable after all, but, they may also not be.

As to bringing someone, well, you could make a short trip out of it, maybe go see a movie or something with your friend while you're in the area.

 

[Loud Noise]

I met my boyfriend through xbox, I say GO FOR IT. Love is an amazing beautiful thing, if he loves you give it a chance to grow.

 

[zombiesinc]

No making fun of me please I am kind of pathetic.

He asked me to visit again and I said I wanted to this time. It scares me to fly from Utah to Maryland to meet someone I don't know and I don't have any friends or family in the area. I just get the vibe he's humoring me at best and I know I hurt him but I don't know if he's legitimately interested. I've said I was and he hasn't said one way or another.

TLDR: There is a boy I dated at one point, I dumped him, I want to give it another shot but I get the vibe he's messing with me. What should I do?

From what you wrote I don't doubt he's interested. You dumped him because he had feelings for you, he then helped you with your MSN drama, and even forgave you and started talking to you again. He seems genuinely interested, and caring. Of course, that's something you'll only find out for sure if you actually visit him, because unfortunately sometimes that doesn't mean anything. People are cruel.

If you think you do like him as much as you say, and would enjoy meeting him in person, you could try to meet in a mutual location, rather than you flying across the country. Especially if you're nervous about going somewhere unfamiliar. Hell, he could even fly to you. That way you're in a familiar area, with friends and family, just in case something doesn't go well.

By the way, you're not lame for any of the reasons you stated. Learning to avoid putting yourself down before anyone else can (as a defense mechanism) would be good for you though. There's no need, 'cause video games and meeting people online isn't such a bad thing.

 

[Safaia]

I want to take someone with me but what would that other person do while I'm there? It feels unfair to drag someone to the cost and leave them there. And he says he won't come out here :/

Why won't he go see you, though? That's a big red flag if you ask me. I would definitely wait out on seeing him until you have a really good idea of who he is. :3

I don't know. He makes it seem like I should be the one to do it since I'm the one that threw the fit and broke off our relationship because I have emotional issues. Like I somehow have to be the one to visit first because I ended it for no real reason.

 

[Hashime]

Don't do it. An internet friend is just that. Besides the aforementioned "you'll get kidnapped" point, if he is unwilling to at least mention meeting half way the chances are he is not someone you want to be in a relationship with. Besides, you are a girl that likes games, that puts you at the top of the list of many local males.