A Burgler breaks into your house...

[Singularly Datarific]

You see him, but he doesn't notice you, what do you do
(Besides the obvious 911 phone call)

I'd sneak back for my Gas tank, and pour a bit on their car's engine.

 

[Good morning blues]

Get the fuck out of the house like any sane individual?

 

[SharPhoe]

Run to a safe place and call 911 from there. Fantasies of being some big hero should remain just that, fantasies.

 

[Ignignoct]

Oh ho ho...

I've posted in this kind of thread before, and people started calling me all sorts of psycho...

MmMmMm...

Well, to quickly recap, I'd risk my life attempting to smartly disable the intruder (taser, etc), take him to a remote location and see what a beating heart looks like first hand. Someone who's out burglarizing would likely not be one whose absence would be noticed or easily traced, in the first place. I want to give peace to a such a troubled soul as a criminal's before I die, myself.

And you all think I'm bullsh*tting! (^_^)

 

[plasma-x]

I would cast Flare

 

[GRoXERs]

Well, assuming their car was there, I'd probably let the air out of their tires, go to a neighbor's house, and call 911.

 

[Haliwali]

Well...

Most of my childhood has been lost to time, but from 8 on my lax nature has allowed me to take most of my experiences in stride, and I've had the fortune of not having much in the way of terrible times. However, my most traumatizing moment was simultaneously one of my best.

Midnight, April 23, 1993. I woke up to the sound of someone blundering around the house, followed by hushed voices. Automatically jumping to the conclusion of a burglar, I grabbed my bokken (as I've always been more into martial arts than sports) and snuck out of my room. As it turns out, I was right.

There was a burglar, and he had woken my parents. Rather than fleeing, however, he was holding them at gunpoint. A roaring, fearless nine-year-old made him turn around. A hit to the knees, then to the left arm, then to the head. He was immobilized, disarmed, and knocked unconscious in quick succession. A quick 911 call later, and he was gone.

 

[Johnny Ringo]

Point a gun at him and tell him to place his hands where I could see them. Shoot if he resists and sort it out later.

 

[Sixties Spidey]

I'll do a Rorschach. Grab an aerosol can, a match, and burn the living shit outta them!

 

[Izakflashman]

If I find something hefty enough I would smack him in the back of the neck with it. Then call the cops. Face the consquences for hitting a perfectly innocent thief later.

 

[Booze Zombie]

Taser that sucker and call the police or, barring that, sneak outside and wake up your neighbours and call the police at their house/get them to stop him.

 

[Shadow Law]

Throw him out (if unarmed) and if he resist...kick his knee caps inward. Weak point & hurts like hell.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Grab a sharp/heavy object such as a knife in the kitchen, one of my swords or hockey stick and aim for the throat; neck if from behind. If this were to happen someone down the road, such as six to twelve months, well than I would simply put my own gun to his head, preferably a shotgun and say "It pays to have a bigger gun" and pull the trigger if he so much as blinked whilst I call 911.

 

[phar]

Well ive been told by a cop that if you have an acutal weapon you can be charged for assault or murder. But if you say have a big heavy torch in your hand that is seen as ok since you would have not intentionally got a deadly weapon to hurt them. You could legitimately have a torch in the middle of the night to go the bathroom or something.

 

[wilsonscrazybed]

I had a burglar break into my house about 4 months ago and take about 1200 dollars worth of stuff.

Aside from feeling impotent there isn't a lot you can do. Good burglars don't rob houses when you're home, that is more a myth perpetuated by the media than anything. You know the one: a couple lays in bed. The wife turns to her husband and says "I heard something downstairs." The husband picks up a conveniently placed baseball bat and creeps downstairs to investigate.

 

[terribleyetfun]

sneak up behind him with a club or some other blunt object and smack him over the head then search him for weapons and take them off him with gloves on and then call the cops.