A conundrum to drum. No-one under 18.

[Takoyaki]

Hey mate. I know how you feel. There have been plenty of situations for me where I have this hopelessly idealized idea of how things MIGHT go if I take this one "little" risk. I try my hardest to make myself believe that it's worth the risk; that it's the right thing to do, but I am always just fooling myself.

But I'm trying to live in the moment and stuff.

I'm guessing people have told you to "live in the moment," or maybe they just like to make themselves sound cool by saying that they do "live in the moment," but really they're just making excuses for acting recklessly. People who "live in the moment" all the time obviously don't care about their future.

but I really, REALLY want this fuck, and I think I'd be throwing away a lot of happiness if I don't keep hold of this.

A fuck is hardly "a lot of happiness." Most everyone else here who is in favor of you taking the chance seems to think that it will just be a good chance for a one-night stand. The good part could be over before you know it, but the fucked up part could just be starting.

Let's add up a few things.

1. She bought you alcohol
2. She was the aggressive force in meeting
3. She lives in a foster home (so is she really all that stable?)
4. She performs oral when you've done nothing better than say, "hi" to her
5. She confesses to having a criminal record

These don't add up to anything good.

First off, do you think you're the first guy she's done this routine on?

What do you think she wants out of it? Because I can tell you, it isn't sex. She's trying to allure you via sex to conform to her needs (i.e. money or some fairy tale idea of a boyfriend, which not even The Most Interesting Man in the World could fulfill.)

These are words of wisdom mate. I couldn't have said it better myself. But you don't have to listen to us, you know it's a bad situation already:

But as much as I want to just let my cock do all the thinking, I'm feeling that I should be a bit careful as well. The criminal record is going to be a problem. I'm well aware that this is a slippery slope I'm looking down,

The criminal record is the tip of the ice burg. The bigger worry is what you don't know about yet.

If you still feeling that relentless nagging feeling like you really think it's worth the risk, or that you really want to believe that it's worth the risk, the best advice I can give you is to JERK OFF and think the whole thing through right after that.

Seriously! I do my best, most rational thinking about sex when my sex drive has dropped to zero. So jerk off now and think about it, jerk off tomorrow and think about it, then maybe jerk off the next day and think about it again. The important thing is to think about it with a level head!

But since you're here for advice, here's mine: Tell her you don't think it will work out, and find a real relationship with a better beginning. This one is just not worth the risk.

 

[Chrishu]

Trust me. There are very few things in life you'll regret more than a lay that got away.

 

[ChadSexington]

I'd say go for it, have a bit of fun. If it doesn't end well you'll learn from it but more then likely you'll have some fun and not regret a thing.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Wow you judgmental people, girl wants some lovin so she must be crazy...

She is obviously looking for companionship, there is no harm sticking around for a while as long as you make clear it is a casual fling (I presume that is what you want).
And be nice about it, if you just intend to exploit her open nature then don't even go there.

 

[00slash00]

a criminal record doesnt mean shes evil, you shouldnt hold that over her head, especially if she was so honest with you about it. dont lead her on and make her think you want a relationship if all you want to do is fuck her. if her past bothers you that much then just tell her you arent looking for anything serious, you just want to have fun. if that means you dont get to fuck her, oh well. youre young, i promise you will have another shot at sex

 

[RoBi3.0]

I've taken a lot of chances in my life and, fortunately, most of them have come good.

Go for gold.

You only live once.

You only get herpes once as well so pick your poison.

 

[Supertegwyn]

throwing away a lot of happiness? what the hell is wrong with you. sex is not the source of all happiness. that would be God. you really need to sort out your priorities, before you end up with a life filled with empty trash and bad memories.

You saying that God is the source of all happiness means the same to me as them saying that sex is the source of happiness.

OT: Don't do it. She seems crazy and who knows the consequences down the line?

 

[Sansha]

It sounds like this girl has had a really rough childhood and teenage years, as well as some daddy issues. She may have the wrong idea about what constitutes love and companionship in a relationship.

My advice would be to try to take it slowly, and at least spend a day with her before gettin' down and dirty. Go for it, sure, but use proper protection and for god's sake don't disappoint.

Pay attention to her words and actions afterward. See if she latches onto you, like she thinks you're in a relationship now.

Maybe you could end up being a positive influence on this girl, and show her some real affection and caring after her shitty, shitty parents threw her out.

Anyway. Just my opinion, not necessarily fact.

 

[ObsessiveSketch]

A VERY wise man once said "don't stick your dick in crazy". Based on the background, plus current habits, I'd give this one a pass. Especially if you're aiming higher in life.

She may turn out to be a really nice, affectionate, understanding, upright, polite, emotionally stable girl! But I seriously, seriously doubt it.

 

[alandavidson]

To quote a staff member here at the Escapist, "Don't stick it in the crazy!" [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/lovefaq/9007-Love-FAQ-Don-t-Stick-It-in-The-Crazy]

Let's add up a few things.

1. She bought you alcohol
2. She was the aggressive force in meeting
3. She lives in a foster home (so is she really all that stable?)
4. She performs oral when you've done nothing better than say, "hi" to her
5. She confesses to having a criminal record

These don't add up to anything good.

First off, do you think you're the first guy she's done this routine on?

What do you think she wants out of it? Because I can tell you, it isn't sex. She's trying to allure you via sex to conform to her needs (i.e. money or some fairy tale idea of a boyfriend, which not even The Most Interesting Man in the World could fulfill.)

Also, do you see her and respect her as a person? Or do you just want her to be your living, breathing, sex doll?

I personally don't see anything worthwhile coming out of this girl you've met. Best move on and find someone a bit more "classy."

I agree with this fully. OP, you're 17. Sexual frustration comes with the territory. But this is not the way to deal with it. Go find a GOOD girl, fall in love, and shag her. Then it'll actually mean something (trust me, sex that means something is far more satisfying than just a random fuck).

 

[mooncalf]

Uhm. Do you like her? Does she like you? That's all it really takes. Maybe someday you wont like her or she wont like you, but it was famously said, tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

p.s. be 'safe'

 

[loc978]

*shrug*
Do it, and be careful about it. You only live once, so live... being her boyfriend is barely a commitment, and she probably wants something out of it you don't... but if you don't emotionally invest much in her, it could be quite a lot of fun. I know my last swing at a similar situation was.
However, if you're likely to become deeply emotionally invested in this (that is, if you know yourself well enough to figure that out)... avoid. If you don't know, think of it as a learning opportunity.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

Dude just give her a call. It's not like you have to marry her or anything.

 

[Airsoftslayer93]

You're 17, she is at least 18 (brought you a drink) i say go for it. The slightly different lifestyle will be interesting, a nice new perspective.

 

[Tselis]

My only concern would be STDs.

 

[Gavmando]

Dude, just go for it. If she gets too crazy, run. One you knock back is one you dont get. And if you're both up for it, do the deed. Just make sure you dont go too far in regards to getting into trouble, and dont lend her money!
Just remember that she probably has some issues. So dont get too far gone that you cant get away. Protect yourself and have fun.

 

[Wintermoot]

just go for it!
just make sure you don,t do anything illegal.