A conundrum to drum. No-one under 18.

[Thwarted]

you are confusing happiness with pleasure, the two are related but definitely not the same thing. dont call her.

 

[remnant_phoenix]

"Sexual frustration"

Every day, I wonder more and more if I'm even human, or if I'm a prank that aliens played on everyone.

I can't help you, as "sexual frustration" is a weird and foreign concept to me. If I'm to say anything, it's that slippery slopes are bad, k?

In a way, I'm jealous. I have a raging libido that drives me crazy half the time and often wonder to myself: wouldn't life be a whole lot simpler if I was asexual?

Also, I'd have a lot more free time if I had no interest in sexual pursuits...

 

[Trivea]

Speaking as a 21-year-old female... hey, go for it. If you don't want to get into a relationship and she's willing for sex outside of a relationship, what's the harm? She can't drag you into any of her shit if you aren't committed, right?

Just be very careful, because "non-committal sex" isn't the most emotionally fulfilling thing in the world for either party and it's pretty hard NOT to get attached if it goes on too long. But you're almost a full-fledged adult and you can make your own decisions. If something like that is something that you think you'd be content with, knock yourself out. There are worse things that you could do.

 

[GeorgW]

To quote a staff member here at the Escapist, "Don't stick it in the crazy!" [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/lovefaq/9007-Love-FAQ-Don-t-Stick-It-in-The-Crazy]

Let's add up a few things.

1. She bought you alcohol
2. She was the aggressive force in meeting
3. She lives in a foster home (so is she really all that stable?)
4. She performs oral when you've done nothing better than say, "hi" to her
5. She confesses to having a criminal record

These don't add up to anything good.

First off, do you think you're the first guy she's done this routine on?

What do you think she wants out of it? Because I can tell you, it isn't sex. She's trying to allure you via sex to conform to her needs (i.e. money or some fairy tale idea of a boyfriend, which not even The Most Interesting Man in the World could fulfill.)

Also, do you see her and respect her as a person? Or do you just want her to be your living, breathing, sex doll?

I personally don't see anything worthwhile coming out of this girl you've met. Best move on and find someone a bit more "classy."

I'll have to agree with this. Us random strangers don't know this girl or what you two have with each other other than what you told us, but from what I can tell from the OP, you'd probably be better off safe than sorry. There are other girls, and while it may not seem so to you now, sex isn't the whole world. And if you still insist on pursuing something with this girl, use protection.

 

[lacktheknack]

"Sexual frustration"

Every day, I wonder more and more if I'm even human, or if I'm a prank that aliens played on everyone.

I can't help you, as "sexual frustration" is a weird and foreign concept to me. If I'm to say anything, it's that slippery slopes are bad, k?

In a way, I'm jealous. I have a raging libido that drives me crazy half the time and often wonder to myself: wouldn't life be a whole lot simpler if I was asexual?

Also, I'd have a lot more free time if I had no interest in sexual pursuits...

I'm not asexual, I just cap out at "mild interest".

And all your free time would probably translate to "moar games", so it's up to you whether or not that's better.

 

[sivlin]

IMO, unless you have some sort of code that says you HAVE to have a meaningful relationship with everyone you sleep with.. there really is no reason not to. If you are attracted to the girl and want to have some fun, why wouldn't you? Nothing says you have to start dating her.

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

Okay, so I was never a teenage male (by virtue of never having been male), but I'm going to comment anyway. I am probably way different than everyone else on this thread, but...hey, I'm going to go for it.

The moment you start saying something to the effect of "(Anything that might be construed as a reason to not do this)...but I want to have sex so bad!" is the point at which I check out of the conversation. I'm a little old-fashioned, but I like to think sex is not just a thing you do because there's a warm fleshy object and you want to get your rocks off. I hear there are plenty of implements for that, that are not living breathing humans. Sex is a statement, whether everyone wants it to be or not, and at the very least there should be some kind of trust established here.

I don't mean "get married before you have sex." I mean "at least you two should probably know what this means to you." Are you both agreeing that you're going to have a good time, not give each other herpes, and go on with your lives? Okay, at least have the conversation. Heck, if I went and picked up someone at a bar -- which I really don't do -- I'd still have the "okay look, we're going to use protection, if you don't like it we're not doing this, so on and so forth" conversation. Did you do any of that? Sounds like you just let the world go by and didn't really care if she was a human or a piece of meat.

So she's got a criminal record. Okay. Do you know what for? "A crime" can be anything from petty shoplifting because she had no money and was starving or something, to assault, to whatever else.

Do you know why this clearly sketchy girl wants to sleep with you? If you didn't find this out also, you have some homework to do.


Also...man, you're 17, why aren't you doing more productive things like figuring out what college you want to go to or something? Hell, I didn't date until I went to college, I knew I wasn't mature enough to know what I was doing. You have all the rest of your life to have sex; don't get in serious trouble because you want a quick screw right now. Pick a safer girl. Pass on this one.

 

[Odbarc]

My thoughts;

The criminal record may or may not be a problem. She was at least honest with it so unless she's hiding worse things, you can at least tackle the situation head-on.
But it also depends on what crimes she's committed. Does she sleep with guys and rob them while you sleep at your place or did she drink and drive or petty theft?

On the other hand, you're young and horny and easy to take advantage of. What's literally the worst thing that can come of all this? You lose "everything you've earned" with a total of -1 years of being a legal adult (which is to say next to nothing and entirely material and replaceable things). Everyone has a "I was young and stupid" and "I think with my cock" story. Experience tells you what you shouldn't do in the future. Go in knowing it's a bad situation and learn from it.

Go for it. Why not? Best of the worst case of scenarios, she has STDs or something like AIDS you could keep with you forever so use a condom. She'll be a lot less likely to get pregnant too.

 

[Vandy]

General advice is not to stick it in the crazy, this is good advice and should be considered... BUT, I believe sticking it in the crazy is as much as a valid young mans right of passage as sneaking your first cigarette or getting way to hammered on shitty rum. So I say have fun, stick it in the crazy. Often. And in as many ways as possible. And remember; It's not forever, even though it will feel like it is when she's throwing shit across the room and opening her wrists when all you want is a quiet handy.
BUT FOR GODS SAKE DON'T GET HER PREGNANT!!
You know Double Tap? Well Double Wrap.

 

[Athinira]

So, what, I'm supposed to allow my child...regardless of age...to be going at it under my roof? Somehow, I don't like that idea. I would also be pretty pissed if they were sneaking around while I was out. I didn't have to do it. Don't see why they feel the need to.

But hey, I skipped that whole period of my life. Sex is not, was not, and simply won't be a big deal to me. It's not so important that everything has to stop for it. It's not 'protecting' children, it's teaching them some damn respect.

The answer to the first paragraph is pretty simple: Because people are different, and have different preferences and desires, even if they're your kids. That's why

As a matter of fact, i was just like you. Sex has never been a big deal to me either, and i also skipped out a big part of my life on it. However, i do respect that for other people it might be much more important, and someday those "other people" might be my own children. I don't feel it is appropriate for me as a parent to try and put the important things in their life on standby just because it doesn't fit how my own life went.

My logic is simple. If you can't rely on yourself to handle the consequences, it's not worth tempting fate. It's all well and good doing what you want. Yeah, okay, it's fun for a day or so. Then it all comes back...and when you're giving up your future to take care of a child you can't afford to keep, you have to ask. Was it really worth the sex?

I do not want to be in that position. So I don't give the world any reason to put me in it. That's not paranoia, that's common fucking sense.

Your logic makes a lot more sense now that you explain it that way. It certainly doesn't scream paranoia anymore, although I'm afraid I'll still have to call you a pessimist

You know, i actually agree somewhat.

Difference is that i believe that before you try to "handle" the consequences, you should first working on avoiding them. You are still talking from the worst case scenario perspective. I once again remind you that it rarely happens, especially if you actively work to avoid them (chance favors the prepared mind)

The point I'm trying to get across is that if you're careful and consider things first, the risks are minimal to non-existant. They're certainly not big enough that I'd recommend someone to "stay the hell away". Many guys has done before what OP wants to do and have profited from it.

 

[Flying Dagger]

I've never met an 18 year old like that...
15 and 13 year olds who act like this I have met a lot though.

Be sure she's not just a young girl with fake ID. Especially if her foster mum is outside the door looking after her.

Also sounds like she's got some real issues, so if you do have a white knight complex it may be good.

However, don't string her along for casual sex. If she's had a tough transient life and she's using sex as a lure to grab hold of something that can provide her with a sense of stability - if you just go for it for the easy lay - you're a dick.

 

[Ursus Buckler]

So, erm... OP, any progress on the poontang situation? Have you called this girl up?

Yeah I decided to just text her earlier on. Thanks to everyone for the advice, much appreciated