Starcraft- You must construct additional ZERG RUSH!
Portal- Now that you're having fun we can-
Half Life 2- ...
DotA- Kill the enemies and YOU SUCK NOOB!
WoW- We claim complete rights to your soul as per the copyright agreement.
Diablo- Clicks while walking.
Diablo 2- Clicks while running.
Pokemon- It's Michael Vick meets World of Warcraft.
Any Mario game- Jump on an enemy, collect a star, repeat.
Starfox 64-Do a barrel roll. Shoot everything that moves; you even get money for killing asteroids in the middle of nowhere.
Starfox Adventures- Consistancy is a human concept and we're furries.
Ocarina of Time- A perfect game ruined by a fairy(plus assloads of plot holes).
Wind Waker- Staring at an open sea for hours just got fun(haha no).
Guild Wars: Prophesies- One click and the game plays itself!(on PvE)
Guild Wars: Factions- Now with coherent story!
Guild Wars: Nightfall- Now with hard mode and good PvE groups!
Guild Wars: Eye of the North- Now with disappointment and grind!
Left 4 Dead- Repetition is the basis of life, so why not?
Left 4 Dead 2- Lets not include a single player mode of the best part of the game, because we personally don't have connection problems.
Team Fortress 2- What's an Xbox 360 and why does this gun suck?
Torchlight- Clicks while runn- wait, I think I already said that about something...
Two Worlds- The NPCs shake while talking to you and leveling is a *****.
Oblivion- The NPCs stand completely still while talking to you and leveling is pointless.
Counterstrike- Sniper rifle and magnums because creativity and skill make my head hurt.
Halo 3- Who needs real end bosses and balance in the multiplayer?
Fable- Choose whatever you want to have happen as long as it's from these few choices.
Pikmin- You're stranded on an alien planet so lets trash the native ecosystem to survive.
Pikmin 2- You're bankrupt near an alien planet so lets completely destroy the native ecosystem for money.
Soul Caliber 4- The girls are whores and the guys are gay.
Spore- We make Fable seem open ended.
Sim 3- Make your friends then lock them in a closet to die.
Any Sonic game- HEYGUYSLOOKHOWFASTICANRUNNOW *crash*
Gears of War- RAWR MANLY MEN RAWG FOOTBAWL!
2Moons- It's repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition...
Neopets- Now you can play the full game for only $4 for every Neopoint.
Genre Wars- Lets see who can break the game the most.
Bioshock- The wrench beats out everything else because we said so.
Assassin's Creed- If you like cutscenes about philosophy and running everywhere then you'll love this game about running around on rooftops.
Dead Space- Those are scary until you realize they die with 2 hits.
Resident Evil 4- What's a survival horror?
Resident Evil 5- Lets make the inventory system as obnoxious as possible.
Saint's Row- Become a psychotic terrorist and still have everyone love you.
Saint's Row 2- Mary Sues are an awesome plot device.
GTA 4- Lets go bowling instead of tearing apart the city for giggles.
Borderlands- Adding piles of garbage to the desert still counts as a scenery change right?
Lost Planet- It's like a JRPG that comes in FPS form.
Battlefield: Bad Company- Screw the enemy, lets see if we can destroy all the trees on this map.
Zoo Tycoon 2- Now you can clean up the animal crap from a first person perspective!
Minesweeper- Get through the whole game using logic and still have to guess the last one(hint: you chose the wrong one and have to start over).
Majesty 2- Better graphics makes up for the fact that the gameplay is an ass to that of the first.
The Darkness- Big Antony needs you to put the screws in Joey "Two-Timing" Calone.
Animal Crossing- Live in a world where all the citizens live on welfare and still have more than you.
Pacman- Died decades ago but still people won't shut up about it.
Scribblenauts- What's a story and does anyone care if I feed these babies to this goblin I summoned?
Super Smash Bros- You can learn every strategy ever and still die to someone who got a hammer.
Army of Two- The Chinese government is trying to kill us for killing a government official so we're totally justified in killing these innocent Chinese soldiers.
Did I miss anything?
Portal- Now that you're having fun we can-
Half Life 2- ...
DotA- Kill the enemies and YOU SUCK NOOB!
WoW- We claim complete rights to your soul as per the copyright agreement.
Diablo- Clicks while walking.
Diablo 2- Clicks while running.
Pokemon- It's Michael Vick meets World of Warcraft.
Any Mario game- Jump on an enemy, collect a star, repeat.
Starfox 64-
Starfox Adventures- Consistancy is a human concept and we're furries.
Ocarina of Time- A perfect game ruined by a fairy(plus assloads of plot holes).
Wind Waker- Staring at an open sea for hours just got fun(haha no).
Guild Wars: Prophesies- One click and the game plays itself!(on PvE)
Guild Wars: Factions- Now with coherent story!
Guild Wars: Nightfall- Now with hard mode and good PvE groups!
Guild Wars: Eye of the North- Now with disappointment and grind!
Left 4 Dead- Repetition is the basis of life, so why not?
Left 4 Dead 2- Lets not include a single player mode of the best part of the game, because we personally don't have connection problems.
Team Fortress 2- What's an Xbox 360 and why does this gun suck?
Torchlight- Clicks while runn- wait, I think I already said that about something...
Two Worlds- The NPCs shake while talking to you and leveling is a *****.
Oblivion- The NPCs stand completely still while talking to you and leveling is pointless.
Counterstrike- Sniper rifle and magnums because creativity and skill make my head hurt.
Halo 3- Who needs real end bosses and balance in the multiplayer?
Fable- Choose whatever you want to have happen as long as it's from these few choices.
Pikmin- You're stranded on an alien planet so lets trash the native ecosystem to survive.
Pikmin 2- You're bankrupt near an alien planet so lets completely destroy the native ecosystem for money.
Soul Caliber 4- The girls are whores and the guys are gay.
Spore- We make Fable seem open ended.
Sim 3- Make your friends then lock them in a closet to die.
Any Sonic game- HEYGUYSLOOKHOWFASTICANRUNNOW *crash*
Gears of War- RAWR MANLY MEN RAWG FOOTBAWL!
2Moons- It's repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition meets repetition...
Neopets- Now you can play the full game for only $4 for every Neopoint.
Genre Wars- Lets see who can break the game the most.
Bioshock- The wrench beats out everything else because we said so.
Assassin's Creed- If you like cutscenes about philosophy and running everywhere then you'll love this game about running around on rooftops.
Dead Space- Those are scary until you realize they die with 2 hits.
Resident Evil 4- What's a survival horror?
Resident Evil 5- Lets make the inventory system as obnoxious as possible.
Saint's Row- Become a psychotic terrorist and still have everyone love you.
Saint's Row 2- Mary Sues are an awesome plot device.
GTA 4- Lets go bowling instead of tearing apart the city for giggles.
Borderlands- Adding piles of garbage to the desert still counts as a scenery change right?
Lost Planet- It's like a JRPG that comes in FPS form.
Battlefield: Bad Company- Screw the enemy, lets see if we can destroy all the trees on this map.
Zoo Tycoon 2- Now you can clean up the animal crap from a first person perspective!
Minesweeper- Get through the whole game using logic and still have to guess the last one(hint: you chose the wrong one and have to start over).
Majesty 2- Better graphics makes up for the fact that the gameplay is an ass to that of the first.
The Darkness- Big Antony needs you to put the screws in Joey "Two-Timing" Calone.
Animal Crossing- Live in a world where all the citizens live on welfare and still have more than you.
Pacman- Died decades ago but still people won't shut up about it.
Scribblenauts- What's a story and does anyone care if I feed these babies to this goblin I summoned?
Super Smash Bros- You can learn every strategy ever and still die to someone who got a hammer.
Army of Two- The Chinese government is trying to kill us for killing a government official so we're totally justified in killing these innocent Chinese soldiers.
Did I miss anything?
