A less brain numbing version of twilight

[Akibo15]

Note: Long post incoming, brace for words
Now I hate Twilight as much as any normal person does. I hate it's bland writing. I hate the broad as hell characters, that are 2D archetypes rather than dynamic 3D people. I hate the movies for terrible directing skills that are at the helm . And I hate the God awful message the movies and the books alike try to convey, and the unfortunate implication extravaganza that it breaks down into. However, I also think that the movies could still be good. They'd just need better writing, better direction, better actors, better SE, and they'd need to ditch much of tripe that books are beyond saving from. So, my question is, do you think that the twilight MOVIES could be remade and made much better in doing so? Now, you need to keep something from the original works to make it Twilight, not another Buffy clone/knock off or another Underworld clone/knock off. What would you keep from the book? Would you try to keep the whole teen drama aspect or ditch that whole thing and use vampires to try and teach moral, human lessons? Would you even use vampires and werewolves as the main romance options for our love struck teen age girl? Whatever you decide, the main goal is to try and teach teens a wholesome moral lesson, without making exploitation grade romance tripe. Also, keep pure Twilight hate out of the picture. Yes it's bad, we all know that. A troll tastic post saying as much, will contribute nothing at all to the discussion at hand.

 

[WolfThomas]

Get rid of it all. Then make an American Vampire movie. Though some purists might get annoyed by the new types of Vampires, but it's good stuff.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Well, the whole appeal of Twilight is the idea of this immortal love story; a kind of Romeo and Juliet vibe of "Our love is greater than time and space, stronger than all the forces of the earth, more certain than death and taxes"
The idea that a 100 year old immortal being would have been waiting and searching for their soulmate, and to have finally found them, and that soulmate is you. It is at it's heart a romance about love being stronger than death. I would keep that bit.

Everything else, up to and possibly including Edward being a vampire would have to be changed. One of the points I find irrevocably wrong about Twilight, and a point that I think Meyer glosses over and never addresses, is that Vampires are demons: They have no souls and are doomed to be damned for eternity. Even series like Buffy the Vampire Slayer had to address this, Angel's soul, being a major plotline of his character. You can't really have an immortal love story if, after they eventually perish, Edward and Bella will be sent to torment FOREVER!

That is only one point out of around 100's that would have to be changed, but it's a big gripe of mine.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Simple, deconstruct the works and show how it would play out in the real world.

Give subtle hints that Bella and Edward's relationship may not be the best, that Edward very well may be abusive; Turn Jacob from "The Rival" into the main protagonist, while he might have anger issues, show that he actually does see their little "relationship" for what it is and tries to help Bella escape it. Show what kind of Dependence Problems Bella must have if she is "Fine" with her "Boyfriend" slashing her tires so she can't visit friends, how mentally unhealthy she must be when she becomes plain suicidal when her "True Love" leaves her (Even though they had barely even known each other for a year) Have her friends and family reach out to her when they see the clear signs of an abusive relationship rather then just say "Oh that's HORRIBLE! Ah well, can't help it."

Basically turn the whole story into a warning about abusive relationships.

I...would read/watch that. Partly because, from what little I read of the book, I like Jacob a lot more than Edward, but still.

 

[Uzbekistan]

I would ditch humans as main characters. I'd tell the story from Carlile's or Alice's point of view (really the only two that I liked and I thought were interesting). If from Carlile, how difficult it would be to still believe so strongly in humans and be berated by fellow vampires for going against your nature. Finding and raising basically everyone in the family, trying to keep their identies secret, making their fortune, ect.

If from Alice, it would be back to forward, with jumps in time, and just generally be confusing as fuck the first time you read it.

 

[Rin Little]

I mean you could easily keep some of the original concepts. I like the ones that MovieBob pointed out, like the whole werewolves are blue-collar Native Americans while the vampires are white-collar, aristocratic, European types. You can keep that easily, but they rest, please ditch.

 

[PunkyMcGee]

I'm one of the few people that is OK with Twilight, Not saying it's good. Just saying it got young girls into reading and even if it's trash, that's worth something.

 

[Gmans uncle]

This is the only "Twilight" I want to hear about

 

[SundayModulator]

I would make it in another dimension where everything is black and white, and being ugly is seen as beautiful and nobody likes to read.

 

[Prismatic Baron]

Everything else, up to and possibly including Edward being a vampire would have to be changed. One of the points I find irrevocably wrong about Twilight, and a point that I think Meyer glosses over and never addresses, is that Vampires are demons: They have no souls and are doomed to be damned for eternity. Even series like Buffy the Vampire Slayer had to address this, Angel's soul, being a major plotline of his character. You can't really have an immortal love story if, after they eventually perish, Edward and Bella will be sent to torment FOREVER!

Not to defend Twilight here, but I'm pretty sure the reason that Edward does not want to turn Bella is because he is terrified that he does not have a soul, and does not want to do that to her.

Even so, vampires being demons or not is kind of universe specific. Like dragons, every universe sets its own rule on the matter.

Edit: For that matter, what a demon is changes based on universe. I'm not sure why so many people complain about Twilight vampires not being vampire-y enough, like we have something in real life to compare it to. Heaven forbid someone has a creative take on a make-believe creature for their fictitious story!

 

[Char-Nobyl]

Note: Long post incoming, brace for words
Now I hate Twilight as much as any normal person does. I hate it's bland writing. I hate the broad as hell characters, that are 2D archetypes rather than dynamic 3D people. I hate the movies for terrible directing skills that are at the helm . And I hate the God awful message the movies and the books alike try to convey, and the unfortunate implication extravaganza that it breaks down into. However, I also think that the movies could still be good. They'd just need better writing, better direction, better actors, better SE, and they'd need to ditch much of tripe that books are beyond saving from. So, my question is, do you think that the twilight MOVIES could be remade and made much better in doing so? Now, you need to keep something from the original works to make it Twilight, not another Buffy clone/knock off or another Underworld clone/knock off. What would you keep from the book? Would you try to keep the whole teen drama aspect or ditch that whole thing and use vampires to try and teach moral, human lessons? Would you even use vampires and werewolves as the main romance options for our love struck teen age girl? Whatever you decide, the main goal is to try and teach teens a wholesome moral lesson, without making exploitation grade romance tripe. Also, keep pure Twilight hate out of the picture. Yes it's bad, we all know that. A troll tastic post saying as much, will contribute nothing at all to the discussion at hand.

Meyer was so keen on ripping off Romeo and Juliet, so make like a sadistic genie and give her exactly what she wanted. Keep it the same for a while, and then have things work out exactly as you'd think they would if this world weren't protected and governed by the whims of a sexually repressed Mormon.

Government agencies and the military would have been involved by the end of the storyline given how terrible everyone is at keeping their dark secrets actually secret, most of the cast ends up dead in entirely believable circumstances, and it's up for heavy debate whether the ones who are left alive are any better off than the dead ones. It's not a hatefic: it's a tragedy, just like Romeo and Juliet. I'm not even sure if Meyer actually saw the play, or even knew anything about it beyond the two titular characters being the poster children for forbidden love.

Oh, and scale back the canon-rape it applies to virtually all levels of supernatural lore. Being a werewolf isn't some sort of dark secret if all it does is make you massive, muscular, and enable you to turn into a large dog at will. Hell, even Harry Potter could make the distinction between a dude who could transform into a big dog and a guy who was a werewolf. And vampirism? Literally the first thing (possibly after "drinks blood") a person will tell you if you ask them to describe a vampire is "Can't go out in sunlight."

So...yeah. More realistic lore (Jesus, I never thought I'd be saying that), a world that functions realistically, and characters who reap the consequences of their actions like you'd expect people to. In other words, take the same story, start it the same way, and then continue it as though it isn't a massive sexual wish fulfillment fantasy by a middle-aged woman.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

Twilight needs more Malkavians.

Everything needs more bat-shit insane vampires, breaking out into arguments with stop-signs, playing pranks that create religions and convincing people that they're their pet turtle.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I'd honestly just get rid of it and remake Stephen King's 'Salem's Lot again. If you can get a tie between the TNT series and the original movie you'd have a very decent vampyre movie.

...

Its really a shame the whole dark tower idea didnt go through. Father Callahan presents himself as an interesting character it'd be nice to see more fleshed out.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

Well, the whole appeal of Twilight is the idea of this immortal love story; a kind of Romeo and Juliet vibe of "Our love is greater than time and space, stronger than all the forces of the earth, more certain than death and taxes"
The idea that a 100 year old immortal being would have been waiting and searching for their soulmate, and to have finally found them, and that soulmate is you. It is at it's heart a romance about love being stronger than death. I would keep that bit.

Right...but that's the problem. You even mention 'Romeo and Juliet' by name, but the point of them being 'Star crossed lovers' wasn't that their love was eternal and whatnot: it was that their love could never be in spite of their own wishes.

People seem to forget that 'Romeo and Juliet' is preceded by 'The Tragedy of.'

Everything else, up to and possibly including Edward being a vampire would have to be changed. One of the points I find irrevocably wrong about Twilight, and a point that I think Meyer glosses over and never addresses, is that Vampires are demons: They have no souls and are doomed to be damned for eternity. Even series like Buffy the Vampire Slayer had to address this, Angel's soul, being a major plotline of his character. You can't really have an immortal love story if, after they eventually perish, Edward and Bella will be sent to torment FOREVER!

Wait, what? That's just replacing one broken religious moral with another one just as broken. This reads like the version of Harry Potter that Ned Flanders read to his kids, where Harry and his friends saved the day...then went to hell for practicing the dark arts.

Besides, you're assuming that the Buffy version of vampires is 'canon' for them. It's...it's really not. Most other stuff treats it like what you'd expect: a curse to the good, and a boon to the evil. You can endure it like Angel or Blade, or you can indulge it like...well, like any evil vampire character ever.

 

[Tonythion]

Change the sparkle twats into real vampires. PLEASE REAL VAMPIRES!

Change the spiritual Native Americans into real werewolves. Don't get me wrong, I always love the whole giant wolf as a werewolf, the bipedal form is more wolfman me thinks. But have them be affected by the moon, have them actually be able to beat the shit out of vampires sometimes!

Not have the two main characters fall in love the moment they see each other. Actually have Bella not be a total douche. I mean from the movies I got that she was this anti-social douchebag that even though people tried to befriend her she felt alone and like no one understood her.

oh and why is Edward in school? What sane functioning humaniod would willingly keep going to high school for years and years? Maybe the people trying to be friends with her, her dad and Jacob would be even more convinced he was dangerous if lets say, Edward was this older mysterious guy. I mean parents and friends usually don't want you dating older creepy people right?

I don't mind the whole teenage immortal romance thing, let girls and romantics have their movie but at least make it well. Have vampires be vampires, have werewolves be werewolves, have villains that actually stand a chance I mean I hardly remember the villains. And for goodness sakes get Stewart to make more faces! That bland I hate everything face worked in the Panic Room but not here.


/rant

 

[k-ossuburb]

Same story, same plot, same directing.

...but all the actors are kittens with squeaky voices.

AND THAT IS HOW I FIXED TWILIGHT!

EDIT: Except for the werewolves, I suppose they'll be puppies or something.

EDIT 2: And have it narrated by the guys who do MST3K.

 

[Belaam]

There's no real problem with vampires vs. werewolves and teen romance.

The problem is with the "wholesome moral lesson" bit.

Generally those stories are both far too heavy handed and at the same times absurdly over the top. If you've ever seen Reefer Madness, you have some idea what I'm talking about.

You need a strong female character who is making a decision about romance. Tying it to rich, white, college educated, sophisticated monsters (vampires) vs. poor, darker skinned, G.E.D., small town monsters (werewolves) is fine. In fact, the decision to add race as an element to the classic vampire/werewolf thing was far and away the most interesting thing Twilight did.

Anyway, what you really need is a female lead interesting and strong enough that the two male rivals need to show their worthiness to her instead of having them both be kinda creepy stalkers.

At the end of the day, if you want that moral message, you need to have some sort of decision as to why one guy is preferable to the other. Doesn't have to be a big thing.

In the Hunger Games books (minor spoiler)

Spoiler

she essentially picks the guy who brings her comfort from the horrors she's witnessed over the guy who reminds her of the horrors she's witnessed. A fine distinction, but one we can see that doesn't necessarily make the guy she doesn't pick a bad guy

. That is a great way to do this kind of thing.

 

[William Ossiss]

OK, so here's my opinion.
Kill Off The Vampire Genre.
At least for a few years. No less than 10. Let the new generation of people stumble upon the genre of their own accord. Then, after at LEAST 10 years passes by, bring it back in the form of ORIGINAL vampire esque movies. Not this new age BS that's being force fed down our throats year after year.
I, for one, hate the entire vampire culture. Hate everything about it. Old stuff, nosferatu, and twihards. As well as the whole werewolf thing. Absolutely hate everything about it. Kill off both genres. Go grab a book about a serial killer, or about some dwarves.