A Nation Under Siege (interest check)

[world_of_dragons]

Okay the long and short of this is that this a roleplay idea set in a world I'm gradually developing called Jigu. I tried to do a roleplay set in one of the regions, but unfortunately I didn't get any takers and one person became dissatisfied with the changes I made with it. So, I decided I'd try taking it here. But before putting up a whole thread and all that I'm looking to test the waters by putting up this thread.

Spoiler: The Plot

In the year 2079, the drow empire of Szithlu unleashes its largest attack on the elven kingdom of Hasari. War ravages the lush forests or six long years as the elves fight desperately to defend their home. All hope seems lost until a young elf named Lyion defeats the leader of the Szithlu Empire, Valuk Orgollagh Aleanrahel, in single combat. In the year 2087, a treaty is signed between the two nations and Orogllagh's army retreats back to the barren shadowlands from which they came.

Hailed as a hero, Lyion is given Princess Araiel's hand in marriage as reward for his courage and efforts. A year later, the world watches the royal wedding as the newlywed couple ascend to the throne. All of Hasari is in cheer as they welcome their new king and queen.

However, the celebration comes to a halt when everything goes black and the outside world loses contact with Hasari. Next, a fiery portal opens and hundreds of soldiers and demonic creatures come pouring out, slaughtering all they see. Though the royal army present make a valient effort, they are ill-prepared for the assault and are quickly slaughtered as Valuk Orgollagh makes his way to the royal palace.

Desperate to protect his castle and his queen, Lyion takes his ceremonial sword and ralies the remaining soldiers and the castle guard to mount a defense. As his men clash violently with Orgollagh's, the two rulers square off in a vicious duel. But this time, Orogllagh's sword slashes through Lyion's hand, as well as his sword. Without out a word, the weakened king is throne from the palace window where he plummets into the moat below.

Days later, contact with Hasari is finally reestablished as Orgollagh now addresses a shocked and appalled world, proclaiming of his victory. Through his diplomats, he attempts to negotiate new trade deals with the rest of the world, the human nation of Nishitami being one of them.

However, Akechi Jakku-Bushi-O, being disgusted by Orgollagh's actions and further angered by his attempts to bully the world into lining his pockets, refuses to give the Szithlu Empire anything. A few days later, Jakku recieves news of boats carrying Hasari refugees ending up on the beaches to the west.

As Jakku goes to meet them, he encounters the captain of one of the ships, who recounts a horrid night of how Drow soldiers and demons tore scores of innocent people apart, enslaving others, of how their queen was humiliated by having her clothes torn off and forced to submit to Orgollagh in front of her people and many more atrocities too cruel to mention.

Jakku bows to the elf, promising him and the other refugees asylum on Nishitami for as long as they need. He then turns to his men present and shouts "Mount up! We're heading to Hasari!"

Of, the premise here is fighting through and army of Drow to liberate the nation of Hasari. The roleplay takes place in a cyber-punk/fantasy setting where sci-fi technology such as hover vehicles and gundams meet magic & mythology. Here, players can take part as one of the survivors of the coup of Hasari, mounting a rebellion to retake their homeland, or one of the Nishitami soldiers come to liberate Hasari from Orgollagh's cluthes.

As aforementioned, this is just an interest thread to see if I have any takers. If enough interest is generated, then I'll post a proper thread.

 

[Baldrek]

Alright I'll bite, I have couple of questions regarding the setting if that's fine? Anyway, here goes.

1. You say this is a Cyberpunk/Fantasy mix, but I can't exactly see any references to the cyberpunk element in the plot snippet you've posted, though it's unarguably fantasy. So it's made me wonder just how much spotlight the cyberpunk elements will have, or if they're just sort of on the sidelines.

2. Just how does the mix of these two elements work? Are cybernetics common, is magic common? Do people use guns or are they just using advanced versions of medieval weaponry? In short, what level of technology are we talking about here exactly?

3. Also, I have to ask since it's not specified, would this have a fair share of Asian fantasy elements as well? Just got that impression from some of the names is all.

Other than that I would love to see a bit more notes on the different nations and their cultures, maybe a short bit on the races and their relations, if they have a pantheon of sorts (Since you mentioned mythology), that sort of thing. It's your world after all, and though the plot has been presented we still know quite little about the world around it. Which, frankly, makes it difficult to put oneself into the shoes of a character as it stands.

 

[world_of_dragons]

Alright I'll bite, I have couple of questions regarding the setting if that's fine? Anyway, here goes.

Spoiler: Answer to questions 1 &2

I apologize if that wasn't clear. I've been having a difficult time putting those elements into a short synopsis. Now, the advancement of technology is very dependent on the region. Hasari for example is more reliant on the use of magic spells, devices and nature while technological development is low to moderate.

Szithlu is far more technologically dependent using mana energy as a source of power for everything. Now for weapons. Hasari does use more advanced versions of medieval weapons such as the arbalest being used by watchmen (Hasari's equivalent to police) as well as a single saber and a collection of spells.

Meanwhile Szithlu uses a variety of blaster guns such as rifles, shotguns, cannons and so on as well as traditional medieval weapons. All of which use a 'mana clip' or 'mana core' which act as either ammo or a power source.

The Nishitami Armed forces sticks to advanced versions of traditional weapons such as the vibro chidori jumonji yari (a sort of trident spear) as well as the 'Bushi Katana' (Warrior Katana) which is infused with a powerful crystal that bestows incredible cutting power as well as a secondary power. However the effectiveness of such are incredibly dependent on the user's concentration.

Spoiler: Answer to Question 3

Now, cultural influences depend mostly on the country and continent we're talking about. Hasari and Szithlu (and some other related countries that will be elaborated in a proper topic) are on the continent Galea, which is heavily based on Europe and European fantasy. Meanwhile Nishitami is one of the major countries of the continent Asia (I'm sorry I couldn't come up with a better name) and is heavily based on Japan.

I hope this answers your questions. If there's anything else you'd like to know, feel free to ask.

 

[Raynoson]

Alright I'll bite, I have couple of questions regarding the setting if that's fine? Anyway, here goes.

Spoiler: Answer to questions 1 &2

I apologize if that wasn't clear. I've been having a difficult time putting those elements into a short synopsis. Now, the advancement of technology is very dependent on the region. Hasari for example is more reliant on the use of magic spells, devices and nature while technological development is low to moderate.

Szithlu is far more technologically dependent using mana energy as a source of power for everything. Now for weapons. Hasari does use more advanced versions of medieval weapons such as the arbalest being used by watchmen (Hasari's equivalent to police) as well as a single saber and a collection of spells.

Meanwhile Szithlu uses a variety of blaster guns such as rifles, shotguns, cannons and so on as well as traditional medieval weapons. All of which use a 'mana clip' or 'mana core' which act as either ammo or a power source.

The Nishitami Armed forces sticks to advanced versions of traditional weapons such as the vibro chidori jumonji yari (a sort of trident spear) as well as the 'Bushi Katana' (Warrior Katana) which is infused with a powerful crystal that bestows incredible cutting power as well as a secondary power. However the effectiveness of such are incredibly dependent on the user's concentration.

Spoiler: Answer to Question 3

Now, cultural influences depend mostly on the country and continent we're talking about. Hasari and Szithlu (and some other related countries that will be elaborated in a proper topic) are on the continent Galea, which is heavily based on Europe and European fantasy. Meanwhile Nishitami is one of the major countries of the continent Asia (I'm sorry I couldn't come up with a better name) and is heavily based on Japan.

I hope this answers your questions. If there's anything else you'd like to know, feel free to ask.

-From reading both plot points, name and organization, here's my input. Take the criticisms as is, or with a grain of salt. From both your descriptions and ideas it seems barely passable as Cyberpunk, mana is obviously the big fat energy source for everything and because "A wizard did it" you eliminate any real room for technological marvels or harnessing of similar powers that are down to earth. It's like "Element Zero" in mass effect, it explains EVERYTHING (except languages, that's by magic).
-The amalgamation of Japanese names seems unbelievably tacky "vibro chidori jumonji yari" or "Akechi Jakku-Bushi-O" is just a literal bastardization of someone who watches too much anime and are very lazy in just coming up with something new.
-Your plot structure is simple, and while not a bad thing, doesn't catch my eye for any real reason.
-You have both a rough idea displayed that could use definite polishing, and I apologize if I'm sounding harsh; though my advice is to actually lay out better ground work, or simply go and create something centered more on Japanese Mythos such as the Kami in Shinto Religion, and the tales they have made.
I wish you the best of luck in future endeavors.

 

[world_of_dragons]

-From reading both plot points, name and organization, here's my input. Take the criticisms as is, or with a grain of salt. From both your descriptions and ideas it seems barely passable as Cyberpunk, mana is obviously the big fat energy source for everything and because "A wizard did it" you eliminate any real room for technological marvels or harnessing of similar powers that are down to earth. It's like "Element Zero" in mass effect, it explains EVERYTHING (except languages, that's by magic).

Well, actually no. Like I said before the use of magic is heavily dependent on the region. I didn't get to actually express this, but mana isn't inherent in all things, at least in the world I'm creating. In this case, magic is only inherent in certain creatures, the drow and the elves being among them. Other parts of the world would use electricity and solar power as a source of energy-this would be worked mainly off Nikola Tesla's work with electricity.

But again, this is still somewhat in development. However, I do have a good idea to work from.

-The amalgamation of Japanese names seems unbelievably tacky "vibro chidori jumonji yari" or "Akechi Jakku-Bushi-O" is just a literal bastardization of someone who watches too much anime and are very lazy in just coming up with something new.

Actually, much of the Japanese I used here is authentic, though I did have to combine certain words to make my point. The Chidori Jumonji Yari ("Cow Horn Cross Spear) is an actual weapon which can be found with a simple google search. Furthermore there's a bit of significance with the character Akechi Jakku, or Jakku Akechi if you want to go by western naming standards. The name Akechi is from Hidemitsu Samunoske Akechi, who is the samurai credited with defeating Nobunagi Oda in Japan's fuedal era. The phrase 'Bushi-O' simply means 'Warrior King'. The term Bushi is the proper term to refer to a samurai warrior meanwhile 'O' means king or patriarch.

In Japan when you call someone by their full name, you call them by their surname first, then personal name and then they're title, if they had one. So no, this isn't bastardized Japanese. And yes, I realize I watch a lot of anime, but don't write me off like some idiot that doesn't understand what he's talking about.

-Your plot structure is simple, and while not a bad thing, doesn't catch my eye for any real reason.
-You have both a rough idea displayed that could use definite polishing, and I apologize if I'm sounding harsh; though my advice is to actually lay out better ground work, or simply go and create something centered more on Japanese Mythos such as the Kami in Shinto Religion, and the tales they have made.
I wish you the best of luck in future endeavors.

Well, yeah I realize the plot is a bit simplistic, but sometimes a plot can be simple or straight forward. Anyway, most of this stuff would have been elaborated in a proper topic, but this is meant to be a simple interest topic just to get the main idea across and try to spark some interest.

Lastly, the roleplay mythos isn't meant to be based off one single mythos, but rather several which also share similarities with one another. I was creating a world that works off the 'Infinite earths' theory, but instead this version of Earth, or Jigu as it's called has an alternate geography, sets of countries, cultures, etc.

I do appreciate some of your feedback, but the way you went on about it made you come off as you didn't really read what I wrote and just made a bunch of assumptions.

 

[Raynoson]

Snip

1.You didn't really mention anything about electrical sources or solar in your firsts two posts, simply stating that would've just removed my line of thinking. You didn't exactly reply to Baldrek's question on Cyberpunk elements in any case.
2.For the Japanese thing, I was curious to see if you actually had any background or information concerning the usage of it. I probably should have simply asked, but was wondering if you had an explanation in store if such an issue rose. I'm familiar with Akechi Hidemitsu, though I admit that "-O" added was unfamiliar to meIf you have any sources that can back that up, I'd be interested, just curious for curiosity's sake.. Yet again, I apologize for sounding oafish, and/or asinine.
3.Simple plots aren't a bad thing, the comment was just personal and meant to say it didn't interest me, but the fact I read through it and typed the words you read here are enough to show some interest in the development.
4.Also my fault in hand, I missed your reply to the 3rd question concerning cultures.

 

[world_of_dragons]

1.You didn't really mention anything about electrical sources or solar in your firsts two posts, simply stating that would've just removed my line of thinking. You didn't exactly reply to Baldrek's question on Cyberpunk elements in any case.

Yeah, I totally blanked on the third question about the technology. I've been meaning to base the world's general technologies off games like Dues Ex Human Evolution, Shogo, Star Wars, etc. so we would see things like holo screens, hover vehicles and more.

2.For the Japanese thing, I was curious to see if you actually had any background or information concerning the usage of it. I probably should have simply asked, but was wondering if you had an explanation in store if such an issue rose. I'm familiar with Akechi Hidemitsu, though I admit that "-O" added was unfamiliar to meIf you have any sources that can back that up, I'd be interested, just curious for curiosity's sake.. Yet again, I apologize for sounding oafish, and/or asinine.

It's cool. Yeah, some of it comes from watching anime, practicing martial arts and just general research. I also used google translate which has been helpful in finding specific terms instead of just random words.

3.Simple plots aren't a bad thing, the comment was just personal and meant to say it didn't interest me, but the fact I read through it and typed the words you read here are enough to show some interest in the development.

Well, the entire world and it's history is in development still. Part of the purpose of this roleplay was to help flesh out certain ideas and such by playing them out.

4.Also my fault in hand, I missed your reply to the 3rd question concerning cultures.

Once again, it's cool. Sometimes I do the same myself.