A question about alcohol-consumption habits.

[unoleian]

I'm sick of spending my nights alone, but I really don't want to take part in the alcohol-culture. Am I doomed to lonely nights, or does your experience indicate that people stop drinking so much in their early twenties?

I'm pretty sure I know the answer already, but I'd really like some input from people who have gone through this phase in their lives.

Depends on the people. Some people wean themselves off the constant drinking and turn it into the occasional get-together, others mark time until they can get to the bar again. I for one mainly weaned myself away from the constant drinking, er, for a while, but the past couple of months saw me go on wicked weekend binges. Trying to get away from that again...

Among my sister's friends, who are now pushing into their 30's, most hardly ever go out and drink anymore, maybe like once or twice a month at most, and occasionally at BBQs or what have you. Some LOVE getting smashed, others, not so much.

You can't really predict this kind of stuff...

...but generally, I would say yes, a majority tend to slow down on the drinking the higher into the 20's they go.

 

[The Lawn]

When I was a senior in high school I'd get invited to parties frequently with the fact that alcohol would be there as the main hook.
Yes I'd go sometimes if one of my friends was going, but it would just be loud music and people drinking themselves stupid.
I would talk to people who weren't drunk off their tits and usually get roped into a 8 or 12 person game of whatever halo was current back then, I think it was 2, and eventually the police would come to see what was up with all the noise.

Everyone who was drinking would book it while I would just sit on the couch with my can of coke or Dr. Pepper and not need to worry because I didn't drink hard liquor.

Though you could say for me that my drinking habits were slightly inverse to the norm as you state it, as in, I drank more after I turned 21 than before as I could count the number of drinks I had on one hand and have 3 fingers left unused.
Where as now, most weekends I have a couple beers and maybe a mixed drink if the situation calls for it.

 

[Virus49]

Its fairly simple to me and some of my mates. Alcohol in the right dosage leads to fun times. Doing stupid things that make you say in a few weeks or so "remember that time when we -something stupid-.

Not to mention dutch courage. Thats cool.

as long as you dont overdo it and drink yourself half to death its a good thing to do on the occasional weekend.

Thats just my opinion on the matter though. Some people dont like it and I respect them for not caving to peer pressure.

 

[Beryl77]

I'm 19 too and my friends and I do the same nearly every night in the weekends. I'm afraid to say it doesn't to die down anytime soon but I'm sure, at some point your friends (and I) will get older and tired of this. Although, most of them will probably never completely stop drinking.

 

[Chewster]

It depends, really. Generally, when people go off to college, they will likely (depending on how serious they are) decide to either get serious and lay off the drinking, or else drink themselves silly. And some find a happy balance between the two.

And while it was neat to rebel and get drunk at parties when underage, as you get older, you do it less as a means to get fucked up and more as a means to socialize and as such, consumption tends to go down somewhat, I've found. Alcohol is a social lubricant which is why it is so popular, and to be honest, you'll have a hard go trying to convince them to lay off, unless something really bad happens.

 

[Blunderman]

But that's what I mean. If he just goes out every odd weekend and just get's a little drunk and asks his mates to do the same. If they are mates. Then once every few weeks they should compromise really.

Then he wouldn't feel so left out every weekend.

That's why I said originally, 'if they're not willing to compromise with each other. How exactly can they be friends?'

Friendships are not easy to keep. Especially when you grow up and start to live very separate lives.

That's the point, you either sink or swim. You find some common ground somewhere and remain friends. Or you drift apart.

That is true. Though, the OP didn't want to burden his friends with the problems he faces because of how they're different nowadays. It's a tough situation, to be sure, and it's likely beyond any significantly better option.

 

[BostonKevin422]

I am 20, I do not drink and have never drank for many reasons. All of my friends drink. I can understand why you would be upset or worried about them if all they did was go to drinking parties and get shattered. However, your friends make time for you, and I'm going to guess enjoy your company very much. They are not choosing alcohol over you, it is something they enjoy doing. There are some activities my friends do that I don't enjoy and vice versa, some of them we do as a group anyways, some of them we do not. It is a healthy balance.

Instead of going out or finding other ways to occupy yourself, you just sit alone in front of a computer screen, lonely and feel depressed. For this you have no one to blame but yourself. Go put yourself out there, find a hobby, join a club. And if your response is something like "well I don't have a job I can't afford to go out" maybe you should start looking for a job, you might even meet some cool co-workers who don't go out every weekend.

I am sincerely sorry about your family's problems with alcohol, your self esteem issues may have stemmed partially from that. I'm not trying to blame you for disliking the alcohol culture, that is who you are and that isn't your fault, but it is your problem if you feel depressed. Do not make excuses and blame friends for why you don't go out. Waiting for your four friends to change will accomplish nothing, go find something else to do on weekends and let your friends do their thing.

I would like to add I respect you very much for not compromising and drinking because everyone else does, best of luck.

 

[the rabidrabit]

Me, I really enjoy drinking but it isn't necessary to have a good time. I love the taste of beer and I really enjoy a good brandy but again you don't need it to have fun. I have a few friends who don't drink but going anywhere with them is a blast.

The friends that do drink and I have calmed down a lot since our younger days ( I'm 21 and been drinking for about 6 years) but we can still keep up with the younguns when the time comes. I suppose I just grew up with a partying culture but I tried to be smart about it and keep it within limits so I don't ruin my health or life, and so far it's been ok.
(Just finishing up my Mechanical Engineering degree)

It simply comes down to personal choice: if you don't like drinking, don't and remember that a true friend won't care.

Also, respect to everyone who kept to their principles and stayed dry. I've found that the worst drinkers are the ones who drink because everyone else is doing it.

 

[fullbleed]

Escapist, I'm just gonna be frank here, but most of you are a boring lot. You don't drink you don't like parties ect, you don't like going out. I mean just have a pint and chill the fuck out, being drunk is fun. I know that sounds terrible but it is fun, it gives a sense of euphoria and makes you less socially selfconcious. Some of my very best friends I've meet drunk, it gives you an instant common interest to start from, I don't need alcohol to have a good time but it will make a good time better, being sober amoungst drunk people is boring. So what if I like to get tipsy when I go out clubbing, it's only rare that I go out anyway and otherwise i wouldn't have the confidence to chat to new people or go dancing.

Oh and if you don't like the taste of alcohol try diffrent drinks, try cocktails or mixers if you don't like the taste of spirits.

Bit of a ramble but yeah, just fucking relax Escapist.

 

[Vrach]

When you hit the legal drinking age, it dies out pretty quick. The novelty of it dies.

It turns into a once a month/bimonthly event sort of thing, usually grouped together with an attempt to get laid.

^This. Also, do all your friends get smashed? Most groups (at least those who are generally friends with non-drinking people like you) have a few who just drink a bit on the side. Personally, I usually just grab a drink or two I like and nurse it/them through the evening. I do know groups who consist solely of people who get shitfaced and do it all the time, but then I don't see you being friends with such groups of people.

 

[Shivarage]

I have become alienated from my friends cause im not in uni (education in general has never been good for me) and I dont drink due to a liver condition so it's just elitism in my case... I am fairly lonely these days but I do keep quite happy

 

[Pariah87]

Escapist, I'm just gonna be frank here, but most of you are a boring lot. You don't drink you don't like parties ect, you don't like going out. I mean just have a pint and chill the fuck out, being drunk is fun. I know that sounds terrible but it is fun, it gives a sense of euphoria and makes you less socially selfconcious. Some of my very best friends I've meet drunk, it gives you an instant common interest to start from, I don't need alcohol to have a good time but it will make a good time better, being sober amoungst drunk people is boring. So what if I like to get tipsy when I go out clubbing, it's only rare that I go out anyway and otherwise i wouldn't have the confidence to chat to new people or go dancing.

Oh and if you don't like the taste of alcohol try diffrent drinks, try cocktails or mixers if you don't like the taste of spirits.

Bit of a ramble but yeah, just fucking relax Escapist.

I'm thinking along the same lines. I've been drinking since I was young...and by young I mean single digits (god bless my dad for sharing the beer) and I love alcohol, I love the taste and I love what it does to me.

I'm not saying those that never drink are "boring", but wishing others would change to suit your own mindset is a little bit harsh. It's almost like you're saying "I'll deal with them getting drunk for now, grudgingly, but how long do I have to wait before they become intelligent and stop their heathen ways so I can feel normal again?"

I personally hate parties and detest being around people I don't know. Yet I love getting drunk because I enjoy letting go and leaving self control on the back burner.

I have friends who don't drink. I don't understand how they can be out in public without half a bottle of SC but that doesn't stop us being friends, just like they don't understand why I need half a bottle of SC to actually converse with people, but we compromise. Only thing I wish I could change is the price.

 

[Stealth Prawn]

Loosen up a bit, man. If your friends are drinking and you want to hang out with them, then the best course of action is to drink, too. There's nothing wrong with drinking, you're a responsible adult. In most countries you can drink at 18, sometimes sooner. And nobody's saying you have to get plastered, but if you knock a few back, then you can be inebriated enough to not mind your drunken friends, but still enjoy yourself.