A question to the grown adult men of the Escapist

[Shivhappy]

I dont see anything wrong with 2 consenting adults having sex. alcohol just strips you down to your core person-In vino veritas-in wine truth. She wasnt passed out, he didnt rape her, she had sense enough to ask if he had a condom, but was horny enough to not care that he didnt.
Sorry OP, she cheated on you, it was her choice to do so.

So as to my perspective as a male, if she is not engaged/married there is no problem in asking(most of the time the answer is no, but if they consent...then they dont want to continue in the relationship they are in anyways)

 

[mrdude2010]

it's technically rape

i personally couldn't take advantage of a girl if i wasn't just as trashed as she was and she came on to me- i require a yes, rather than just the absence of a no.

 

[mikeysnakes]

I completely disagree with all of these people saying that if it's not marriage it doesn't matter, leaving aside the issue that this is a different kind of relationship that's being talked about here, and I don't even know if marriage like that is legal where the OP is from. But the seriousness of a relationship is dictated by the people in it, not by some arbitrary bullshit like marriage or a ring. For people who actually care about marriage and do get married, it holds meaning to them because that was their agreement for their relationship, if people don't feel the need to get married (or can't) it doesn't make their relationship any less serious. Besides that, there are plenty of non-serious marriages and always have been.

If the man's thinking was "Well she's in a relationship, but she's not married or engaged or anything" that makes him more of a prick then he already would be.

 

[Sepphyre]

Rewind a bit. It shows the very character of a person that they would allow themselves to get drunk to this extent in the first place, such that they lose control of their faculties. People can talk about laws and the integrity of this and that all they want, but at the end of the day, YOU are responsible for YOURSELF. Don't get yourself into this position to begin with.

I am by no means a prude regarding alcohol, however there comes a time when you need to be aware of where you're heading, and get back onto the water or soft drinks. It is called being a RESPONSIBLE ADULT.

Yes you are responsible for yourself. YOU are responsible too. What if it was you, the next day, would you say "well if she didn't want me to fuck her without a condom she wouldn't have gotten so drunk that she couldn't physically stop me. Just asking isn't good enough. It her own damn fault." It may be her fault for getting so drunk, but it was you who made the choice to continue with dubious consent.

If a person is obviously drunk, that gives you the right to do whatever you want to them because they 'shouldn't be so drunk if they don't want others to abuse them'? Your intent is still your intent. Personally I choose to not abuse people regardless of how much drugs and/or alcohol they have consumed.

I'm not sure whereabouts in my post it mentions that I would take advantage of someone who is off their face. I've been raised better than that, and in fact would likely play the guardian to help keep any opportunists at bay.

The point I was trying to make, is that if she had've been more responsible for herself and had more respect for herself, then this discussion thread would never have needed creating because the incident wouldn't have happened, and the predator out there would not have had an opportunity.

 

[sumanoskae]

DISCLAIMER: I'm 16, but I've met 22 year olds that would do worse than this.

A): "Normalcy" is impossible to calculate, people simply vary to much. This is the reason stereotypes don't work.

B): If you ask me, it's not a factor of male mindset, it's a factor human mindset.

C): The answer you are looking for is 6. It's not evil, it's not even necessarily misogynistic, it's just an asshole thing to do, and I'd say it's worse for the 3rd party who had no say whatsoever. It's not rape, alcohol will impair your judgement, but if you wouldn't have done something in a million years(Like suicide), you still won't do it.

In terms of how mentally stable this person was, there are some variables. Did he know this girl?, were they close?, was he close to her significant other?, how drunk was he?, and so on. If it was just some girl he happened to know was in a relationship, then I'd say that's pretty normal. Weather he was drunk in this case or not, this is just run of the mill lack of regard for people you don't know, very few people think differently. 5, average Joe. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if he was a close friend of either of them, then this guys a douche, somebody I'd punch and never want to be friends with, but still not crazy in any major sense, just lacking in morals and loyalty. 7, underhanded asshole. Obviously, the opinion and/or remorse of the male in question on this turn of events is also a factor.

I'm sorry to say this, but your girlfriend isn't exempt from blame, she can't have been completely disgusted by the idea, or she wouldn't have been cooperative.