A Quick Buck [D&D4E, NOW PLAYING]

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underscore_b

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Jul 6, 2010
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Venom: Just when you made your entrance you were asking about Wednesday and whatnot. I realise you were posting in a rush and didn't want to hold up the game; it's just a reminder.

All: I'll probably be afk for the rest of the day but it sounds like you've decided to check out the temple; I'll write up a new effortpost tonight :)
 

underscore_b

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Jul 6, 2010
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"Well," said the barkeep, "whatever keeps you in coin then. Head towards the Tower o'Broken Moons in the city square, then left and keep going 'till you get to Golden Green. It's a big brown mound; don't ask. Anyway right from there, head to the end of the street, take the lane that curves back 'round the other way and look for the big pointy place with the hammers. Can't miss it."

The group stared, dumbly.

"Look, I'll draw you a map."

****​

The heat out in the street was excruciating and the roads swirled with dust, trampled by a thousand traders and sailors and gadabouts seeking a good story for their next soiree. Yet despite the bustling crowds the party had little difficulty making their way through the rabble: people seemed to slip silently out of their way as soon as they saw a seven-foot gnoll in their midst. The queasy, inexplicable sensation they got from looking at Wednesday probably didn't hurt either. Despite the barkeep's instructions they soon found themselves directly in front of the building he described; a vast temple wrought in granite and gold.

Kalem grinned. "Unless it's Beard-And-Helmet week at Drunken Midget University, I think this might be it." Dwarves scrambled over the complex in their hundreds: beating carpets, scrubbing steps, hauling barrels and unloading carts full of candles and crockery. Shielding his eyes against the morning sun, Jelani could even make out two dwarves clambering over the giant sculpted hammer that housed the central belltower. Even Phillip had to admit; dwarven efficiency was truly a sight to behold.

Suddenly the party noticed someone stomping down the steps towards them: a red-faced, flustered-looking dwarf with dirty blonde hair in a tight ponytail. He carried a clipboard in one hand and a pencil-stub in the other, and he did not look pleased.

"Moradin's shithouse, where have you people been?" he began. His voice was shrill, but the words had a sort of melody to them as if he'd been practising this outburst for some time. "We're seating a hundred Goodshields, a hundred-and-fifty Hammershards and you boys just waltz on up an hour before as if-"

He stopped and his eyes widened. "Wait. Tell me there's more coming. Please don't tell me my security team is four frigging mercenaries and a trained gnoll."

He looked at Domonic, his eyes pleading.
 

Joshy206

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Oct 16, 2010
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Goody, Kalem thought, it's my time to shine.

"You think we're only four mercs? Take a look at that "Trained Gnoll". Look real close. See it?," Kalem didn't wait for the answer, which would assuredly have been no. "Jelani over here is actually an entire colony of rare, miniscule moles that join together to appear as a Gnoll to scare away predators." At this point he leaned over to the short dwarf. "And between you and me," he whispered, "I'm fairly sure they'll eat any troublemakers you have. They like Dwarf."

Kalem returned to his original position and dusted off his suit. "Oh, and I'm from the darkest depths of hell, the silent guy over here is capable of destroying entire cities with a whisper and these two dwarves are actually one dwarf with the ability to duplicate himself into an infinite number of clones." So, counting me and Wednesday as solos, and assuming Philiscotch here," he patted both dwarves on the back, "duplicates himself 100 times, and counting each Gnoll mole as an individual mercenary..." He paused for dramatic effect.

"We got about Five thousand, one hunded mercs to help you out." He winked. "And two."

EDIT: Realised my initial post was more Intimidate than Bluff, so I redid it.
 

Akiada

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Apr 7, 2010
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Jelani wasn't sure whether to feel insulted by both the 'trained gnoll' comments and the notion that he was a bunch of moles posing as a gnoll, or to laugh like a madman at the absurdity of such a cover story. He quickly found himself leaning towards the latter and had to cover his muzzle to stifle his giggles. Kalem was really good at spinning some serious bullshit and getting people to buy it, but it only really worked if no one undercut it, so he had to be careful to not do just that.

Even if was terribly, terribly tempting to punt the dwarf for insinuating he was trained like some common animal. So very tempting. It was always a delight to see how far they'd go before invariably returning to earth...
 

underscore_b

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Jul 6, 2010
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The dwarf stared hard at Kalem and swallowed. Then he began to laugh, an unnerving, slightly hysterical giggle. "'Ee...eeheeheeheeHEEHEE...AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Go ahead, joke. It's all a joke; this whole thing's a joke. There'll be a massacre before she's even halfway up the aisle and I'll be out of a job and probably my skin anyway, so sod it. I already put a ten percent booking fee on Hammerwing's Irregulars but since they haven't shown up you can have the rest. It's nine hundred gold in all; just do guard stuff and for Moradin's sake don't let anyone make a scene. Two-hundred-gold penalty if they do - and bear in mind Master Olaf is very eager to see this go smoothly; losing the gold might be the least of your worries."

The dwarf paused a moment to scan his clipboard. "Right. We're all going to get murdered but that's no excuse for being un-professional: catering, check; barstaff, check; security..." he looked at Domonic expectantly, pencil wavering over the parchment.
 

underscore_b

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Jul 6, 2010
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Hey guys, since noone has posted in about a week I'm going to put this campaign on hiatus and pick up when I get back from my holiday in about a month's time, or if people would rather opt out I can reboot with a whole new party. Will PM you all when I return. Cheers :)
 

Joshy206

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Oct 16, 2010
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Yeah, I think that might be the best idea. Hiatus, I mean - I'd love to continue, but you have a holiday and I'm about to go through a bunch of exams. On a side note, I hadn't posted because I couldn't think of a suitable response :p