A Rap to Cure Cancer: We need your help! *Update, with video!*

[username sucks]

Did that title get your attention? Good. That means that you believe in the powers of rap.

Now let's get down to buisiness. Relay for Life being held in my town next weekend, on May 17th and 18th. Both I and [user]Atlas' Heart[/user] are in an Earth Club that participates in the relay, and we have each been given a 10 minute time slot to perform a "skit" in front of hundreds of people. Atlas will be acting as a game show host, and I... will be rapping.

This is where you come in, Escapists. We need ideas to make this the best Relay for Life ever held, for it to go down in history, to cure cancer and stop global warming!

*Ahem*

So let's talk about my part first, shall we? I have zero experience rapping, I have never payed much attention to other people rapping, and on top of that I cannot break dance (that is part of rapping, right?). The rap needs to be about environmental sustainability for the most part, but cancer awareness would also be an acceptable subject for some parts. The time slot is 10 minutes, but I don't need to spend that whole time rapping.

So now I ask for advice. I would not ask you to do all my work for me by writing the entire rap, but if any of you get a great idea for a few lines I could include, that would be fantastic. Ideas for me to fill the whole 10 minutes would also be greatly appreciated.

As for right now, I have about 3 minutes worth of rap material and I was planning on talking about conservation 'n stuff before or after the actual rap. I am experienced in the art of making a fool of myself on stage, so I should have no problem when it comes to actually performing.

Now for Atlas' game show. He will be the game show host, and other Earth Club members will be the contestants, "randomly" selected from the stage. To avoid an unfair environment, the game will be rigged.

We have most everything covered, but Atlas has asked me that I ask you if you have any questions to ask that he could then ask the contestants, so I ask of you Escapists: Got any suggestions for trivia questions about cancer or conservation/sustainability? Bonus points if the two are put into a single question.

Thank you for your time. The videos of this will go online, so your reward will be to watch this incredibly humiliating performance after it is complete. I could also work a special thanks into the performance to everyone that helped, I suppose.

TL;DR: Help out me and my homie with some sick rhymes and trivia questions, yo.

EDIT: If you help out, you are both helping to cure cancer and stop global warming. Just saying.

EDIT 2: Atlas needs some recycling and cancer trivia! He is holding a gun up to my head telling me to type this! Please do what he asks!

Video update!:

 

[Aerosteam]

As you can tell I'm not a dancer
Y'all lookin' at me like some kinda glancer
And we're all looking for the answer
On how to cure dat horrible cancer

Better rhyme in the future tense
Only to fill this rap with suspense
Wear some armour to build my defense
What? Rap lyrics don't need to make sense!

This rap sounded better in my head
I hope none of you have already fled
Something smells nice it smells like some bread
Gonna taste good with dat butter spread

I don't know what these lyrics are worth
Been saving them since my own birth
What this on my back? Some sort of girth
Long story short, we gotta save the Earth

*End by beat boxing intensely*

-----

[small]Let me know when you want more
I hope my rapping wasn't an eyesore

Wait, I got my senses wrong
Okay, fine. I'm done with this song

At least I'm done for now
Sorry for being so lowbrow

Sorry if this was bad timing
I don't know why I'm still rhyming[/small]

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Yo yo yo!

**Improvised beatboxing**

Y'all got cells multiplying in ya bodies all the time,
It happens more often than a brother's sick rhyme,
Mitosis, meiosis it's the basis of all life,
but malignant neoplasia is waiting to cause strife.

You've.
got.

cancer of the bowels and bones, breast, bile duct and bladder,
cancer in the brain's insane. Madder and madder.
lymph nodes and lymphoma, soft tissues and melanoma,
colon, rectal, anal, bros!
Let's wipe it out, once and for alls

**beatboxing intensifies**

Let's cut down on the radiation that creates abnormal cell mutation
We ain't getting no superpowers, just hours and hours of pain and misery,
and bankrupting drugs expensively
sold to those in positions most vulnerably
unless you're from a country who's healthcare is free
cause then it's already pre-paid by the taxpayers see.


**Get rudely interrupted by Kanye West**

Yo! Yo! Yo!

Eat more vegetables, give up drinking,
Appease Vlad Putin, encourage free thinking,
Explore family history for genetic dispositions,
and if you find an unknown lump consult that physician.
Timing is vital to catch it when it's early,
This is not something we want continuing surely?
More hunger than Ungoliant devouring all in sight,
let's free our children of this menace by ending it tonight

**Drop mike**

 

[username sucks]

Snip, yo

Dawg, snip that shit

Awesome. That's gonna cure cancer, no doubt. Most of what I already have is already about recycling and the like, so this is perfect. Both of you. You're my homies.

I will credit the Escapist in the rap. Maybe I'll throw in some usernames, I haven't decided yet.

I do not expect this to have a very serious tone, so go ahead and throw any ideas you have at me! I have also been informed that one of my fellow Earth Clubbers has a Batman costume and wants to go on stage with it. My idea is that he'll be a contestant on Atlas' Game Show.

 

[Ubiquitous Duck]

Is doing an intentionally silly and badly performed rap really a great idea when talking about cancer?

I know it would depend on your audience, but this sounds really risky.

 

[Aerosteam]

Is doing an intentionally silly and badly performed rap really a great idea when talking about cancer?

I know it would depend on your audience, but this sounds really risky.

C'mon, talking about cancer doesn't have to be sad
It's prefered when the performance is intentionally bad
I don't think anyone in the audience would be very mad
It won't be very risky, not even a tad

The audience will love it, I'm very, very sure
It's all for the sake of fun and to find that cancer cure

 

[username sucks]

Is doing an intentionally silly and badly performed rap really a great idea when talking about cancer?

I know it would depend on your audience, but this sounds really risky.

Personally, I think it's an absolutely horrible idea. I mentioned a rap as a joke when we were deciding on what to do with the skits, and everyone agreed, much to my dismay.

So I'm stuck with it now. I've tried to back out, or switch for a different act, but I'm stuck with the rap now. Might as well make it memorable while I'm here.

It doesn't need to be super serious anyway. It's supposed to be entertaining.

 

[Skatologist]

Hey guys, username may not be emphasizing this enough, but we also need a gameshow like contest with about 10 questions related to plastic and cancer and more specifically there ties. I'll put up a few just to keep record later, but I don't think I could form more than 5 questions.

 

[username sucks]

Yo, yo, yo! Money Beats is in the house!

There are about 9 days left, and I will be taking suggestions up until the 16th of May.

It'll be great. I promise. Just thought I'd keep you wonderful people updated.

 

[Eleuthera]

Hey guys, username may not be emphasizing this enough, but we also need a gameshow like contest with about 10 questions related to plastic and cancer and more specifically there ties. I'll put up a few just to keep record later, but I don't think I could form more than 5 questions.

Do the questions have to be about the link between cancer and plastic?

 

[SonofaJohannes]

I'll write more later but here's what I got so far:

Something something, necromancer
Because you died from cancer.

 

[username sucks]

Hey guys, username may not be emphasizing this enough, but we also need a gameshow like contest with about 10 questions related to plastic and cancer and more specifically there ties. I'll put up a few just to keep record later, but I don't think I could form more than 5 questions.

Do the questions have to be about the link between cancer and plastic?

They do not. It's more of an "either or" sort of thing. Questions that link the two would be amazing though.