Now being a console scrub with a shitty computer I can have some trouble getting really great games. Team Fortress 2 was the sole reason I spent 60 dollars on launch to get the Orange Box. Not that Portal wasn't great but TF2 really pulled me in.
I was fresh off the moist teats of Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4 by the time I got to play Team Fortress. So sufficed to say Team Fortress is entirely fucking different. The nine classes are exedingly well balanced and none need to be unlocked. (Looking at you Call of Duty)Plus the in this game Respawing is a punishment. (30 **** buggering second respawn on occasion!)
When the day finally came rev up the ol' 360 and get playing I was amazed by Main Theme of Team Fortress, since then it has become my ringtone. The first map I played was 2fort, a simple capture the flag map. The class I tried originally was Engineer, a class built to stall and destroy the enemey within your territory.
Being the noob I was I built on the Sniper deck thinking that logically it would cover the most ground. Instead it was destroyed by Snipers. Luckily a grand fellow by the name of Goldninja01 took me under his wing and taught me how the thing worked.
Now I have logged 120 hours into the bloody thing and I have barely even gotten Mediocre with most of the classes. There is amazing depth to every class even with only the first set of weapons.(damn you PC players!) Execpt for Maybe the Pyro a simple 'Run in and burn stuff' classfor thickees.
The first class I had attempted 'Engineer' ( http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/c/cf/Engineer_cheers07.wav ) has a lot do do before the enemy arrives including but not limited to: Setting up an Automatic Gun called a Sentry to stop rushing opponents, Building a Dispenser to provide Defenders with Supplies (Ammo and Health) and you with Metal to build your contraptions, and setting a teleport relay from your spawning area to the front lines. Then you sit down and whack your gun with a mammoth wrench until it can instakill verey thing. But Valve was'nt happy with just letting a class be used for defense. You can also be an 'Offense Engineer' which means you supply troops on the frontlines with your Dispenser and provide a fallback point within enemy territory. Of course this is not encouraged. Plus he has to continually have hodowns.
The next class I'll be overviewing is 'The Spy'( http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/f/f4/Spy_specialcompleted11.wav ) a devilish bastard capable of one hit killing anything from behind with an elegant shank. The Spy seems to have been designed to piss off enemies and be incredibly versatile. The Spy has three Gadgets to assist in afor mentioned shanking The Electro Sapper, The Disguise Kit, and The Invisibility Watch. The Disguise Kit allows you to look like any other class and look like you are on the enemy team. No one shoots thier best friend unless they are of course SPY CHECKING. Which is a piss easy tactic performed by absolutely everyone.
No one takes friendly fire damage because Valve knows that with friendly fire Team Killing happens. So when you (A Spy) are disguised as someones best friend you will be SPYCHECKEDLOLZ by: A giant Machete, A Flamethrower, A Minigun, a shit load of shotguns, and a baseball bat. You will die when being SPychecked. It will happen an awful lot.
The next Gadget is the Electro Sapper, a clever little toy which most spies use relentlessley. The weapon take a milisecond to apply and less to reload. What it does is disable any Engineer contraptions it is applied to and slowly kills them. This is easily remedied by two smacks with a wrench but Spies wont let you do that INFINITE SAPPING. Spies just sap over and over again until the building finally breaks, letting his team move through.
The final gadget and arguably the most useful one is the Invisbility Watch. It gives Spies a ten second get out of fuck up free card or a get in to fuck up free card. It proves incredibly versatile and very good for the shanking. You can not attack when invisible for balance reasons.
The next class in line is The Heavy Weapons guy a massive russian stereotype with a Minigun. Yes a minigun. He runs around the battelfield (or rather hobbles considering how fucking slow he moves) sending bullets flying around haphazardly and murdering most of the opposition within a short run from him. Plus he beats people to death with his bare fists. Can't win much more than that. Oh and says winning lines like: http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/a/ad/Meet.wav and singing 'The Sabre Dance'. PURE WIN
But he is hampered in his win by being painfully slow and having a massive shankable back. Sniping classes have no trouble killing him in an effortless headshot at long range and The Spy can get at the massive dope's spin execedingly easily. However he is often assisted by our next class The Medic.
Oh yes my favortite class The Medic. http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/9/98/Medic_jeers10.wav
The Medic is the healing class of Team Fortress often tending to the fragile bodies of his teamates with his 'Medigun' a hose that assumadly fires pure stem cells into the friendly or (disguised enemies) it targets, immediatly giving the target extra health and after a lot of healing 10 seconds of invulnerablity called an ÜberCharge.
Unfortunately people see the deadly potential of a Medic and try to snuff him out before he and his buddy (most likely a Heavy because they are good protectors) destroy the defense. Meaning you will be everyones first priority. Not that you aredefenseless no no no! You have a oversized Bonsaw and a gun the fires Herpes infected needles into the enemy.
The Sniper is my least Favortite class( http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/e/ed/Sniper_specialcompleted45.wav) and can cause alot of problems for anyone
The main thing (and the only thing) you do as a Sniper take your big-ass bolt-actioned rifle and shoot at unsuspecting nubcakes. Fun right? Wrong. You see your rifle seems to be a railgun gun because you have to stay aimed in your scope for 5 seconds to fire a strong shot which gives you severe tunnel vision and puts alittle red or blue sniper dot where you are aiming. As a sniper most people hate you. Especially Spies.
Spies seem to derive a satanic glee from stabbing you and letting the physics engine play with your corpse. Which sufficed to say ruins your fun. Luckily you have a SPY CHECKING machete to chop those bastards in half. That's about it actually.
The Pyro (http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/4/49/Pyro.jpg) is consitently called the 'Noob' class of Team Fortress 2 (see: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=545) Who speaks entirely in muffled gobbledegook which sounds like Kenny from South Park. His main skill set involves runnig towards the enemy with a flamethrower or waiting for the enemy with a flamethrower. Either way you are burning people to death which is really fucking fun.
The Pyro is also chastised for his ease in SPYCHECKING because any friendly who bursts into flames is a spy. Meaning you are anathema for all spies.
The there is the scout http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/a/a6/Scout_specialcompleted03.wav
Who looks just like the Shamwow guy and runs like he's on a cocktail of Cocaine, Herion, and Red Bull. The scout runs fast fights fast and talks fast. http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/437089/scout.jpg
His main strength is that he can capture territory fast snd captrure objectives faster. Along with a shotgun this guy makes one hell of an offense. Unfortunately he has the durability of a Zergling.
The final two classes are very similar in use The Soldier and The Demoman.
The Soldeir http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/9/97/Soldier_taunts01.wav is a batshit insane man who believes America is the single greatest thing of all time. He also believes God sent him to earth to kill every last person he can. Making him clinically insane. His main weapon is a rocket launcher. Which fire slow moving rockets which can kill every class in one hit in the case of a Critical Hit. He can also use the weapon to gain a hieght advantage by Rocket Jumping. This class is insane cathertic and difficult to master. However you are only a tad faster than The Heavy Weapons Guy.
The Demoman (A Black Scottish Cyclops) http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/a/a4/Demoman_specialcompleted11.wav
Is an explosive expert. Laying remote activated mines and shooting grenades. With the added ability to wail on an enemy with a bottle of Scrumpy. He can also jump using explosives, much further and with a much higher risk.
Fuck I'm tired of typing so here's the end of my review.
I love this game 10/10
I was fresh off the moist teats of Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4 by the time I got to play Team Fortress. So sufficed to say Team Fortress is entirely fucking different. The nine classes are exedingly well balanced and none need to be unlocked. (Looking at you Call of Duty)Plus the in this game Respawing is a punishment. (30 **** buggering second respawn on occasion!)
When the day finally came rev up the ol' 360 and get playing I was amazed by Main Theme of Team Fortress, since then it has become my ringtone. The first map I played was 2fort, a simple capture the flag map. The class I tried originally was Engineer, a class built to stall and destroy the enemey within your territory.
Being the noob I was I built on the Sniper deck thinking that logically it would cover the most ground. Instead it was destroyed by Snipers. Luckily a grand fellow by the name of Goldninja01 took me under his wing and taught me how the thing worked.
Now I have logged 120 hours into the bloody thing and I have barely even gotten Mediocre with most of the classes. There is amazing depth to every class even with only the first set of weapons.(damn you PC players!) Execpt for Maybe the Pyro a simple 'Run in and burn stuff' classfor thickees.
The first class I had attempted 'Engineer' ( http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/c/cf/Engineer_cheers07.wav ) has a lot do do before the enemy arrives including but not limited to: Setting up an Automatic Gun called a Sentry to stop rushing opponents, Building a Dispenser to provide Defenders with Supplies (Ammo and Health) and you with Metal to build your contraptions, and setting a teleport relay from your spawning area to the front lines. Then you sit down and whack your gun with a mammoth wrench until it can instakill verey thing. But Valve was'nt happy with just letting a class be used for defense. You can also be an 'Offense Engineer' which means you supply troops on the frontlines with your Dispenser and provide a fallback point within enemy territory. Of course this is not encouraged. Plus he has to continually have hodowns.
The next class I'll be overviewing is 'The Spy'( http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/f/f4/Spy_specialcompleted11.wav ) a devilish bastard capable of one hit killing anything from behind with an elegant shank. The Spy seems to have been designed to piss off enemies and be incredibly versatile. The Spy has three Gadgets to assist in afor mentioned shanking The Electro Sapper, The Disguise Kit, and The Invisibility Watch. The Disguise Kit allows you to look like any other class and look like you are on the enemy team. No one shoots thier best friend unless they are of course SPY CHECKING. Which is a piss easy tactic performed by absolutely everyone.
No one takes friendly fire damage because Valve knows that with friendly fire Team Killing happens. So when you (A Spy) are disguised as someones best friend you will be SPYCHECKEDLOLZ by: A giant Machete, A Flamethrower, A Minigun, a shit load of shotguns, and a baseball bat. You will die when being SPychecked. It will happen an awful lot.
The next Gadget is the Electro Sapper, a clever little toy which most spies use relentlessley. The weapon take a milisecond to apply and less to reload. What it does is disable any Engineer contraptions it is applied to and slowly kills them. This is easily remedied by two smacks with a wrench but Spies wont let you do that INFINITE SAPPING. Spies just sap over and over again until the building finally breaks, letting his team move through.
The final gadget and arguably the most useful one is the Invisbility Watch. It gives Spies a ten second get out of fuck up free card or a get in to fuck up free card. It proves incredibly versatile and very good for the shanking. You can not attack when invisible for balance reasons.
The next class in line is The Heavy Weapons guy a massive russian stereotype with a Minigun. Yes a minigun. He runs around the battelfield (or rather hobbles considering how fucking slow he moves) sending bullets flying around haphazardly and murdering most of the opposition within a short run from him. Plus he beats people to death with his bare fists. Can't win much more than that. Oh and says winning lines like: http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/a/ad/Meet.wav and singing 'The Sabre Dance'. PURE WIN
But he is hampered in his win by being painfully slow and having a massive shankable back. Sniping classes have no trouble killing him in an effortless headshot at long range and The Spy can get at the massive dope's spin execedingly easily. However he is often assisted by our next class The Medic.
Oh yes my favortite class The Medic. http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/9/98/Medic_jeers10.wav
The Medic is the healing class of Team Fortress often tending to the fragile bodies of his teamates with his 'Medigun' a hose that assumadly fires pure stem cells into the friendly or (disguised enemies) it targets, immediatly giving the target extra health and after a lot of healing 10 seconds of invulnerablity called an ÜberCharge.
Unfortunately people see the deadly potential of a Medic and try to snuff him out before he and his buddy (most likely a Heavy because they are good protectors) destroy the defense. Meaning you will be everyones first priority. Not that you aredefenseless no no no! You have a oversized Bonsaw and a gun the fires Herpes infected needles into the enemy.
The Sniper is my least Favortite class( http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/e/ed/Sniper_specialcompleted45.wav) and can cause alot of problems for anyone
The main thing (and the only thing) you do as a Sniper take your big-ass bolt-actioned rifle and shoot at unsuspecting nubcakes. Fun right? Wrong. You see your rifle seems to be a railgun gun because you have to stay aimed in your scope for 5 seconds to fire a strong shot which gives you severe tunnel vision and puts alittle red or blue sniper dot where you are aiming. As a sniper most people hate you. Especially Spies.
Spies seem to derive a satanic glee from stabbing you and letting the physics engine play with your corpse. Which sufficed to say ruins your fun. Luckily you have a SPY CHECKING machete to chop those bastards in half. That's about it actually.
The Pyro (http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/4/49/Pyro.jpg) is consitently called the 'Noob' class of Team Fortress 2 (see: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=545) Who speaks entirely in muffled gobbledegook which sounds like Kenny from South Park. His main skill set involves runnig towards the enemy with a flamethrower or waiting for the enemy with a flamethrower. Either way you are burning people to death which is really fucking fun.
The Pyro is also chastised for his ease in SPYCHECKING because any friendly who bursts into flames is a spy. Meaning you are anathema for all spies.
The there is the scout http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/a/a6/Scout_specialcompleted03.wav
Who looks just like the Shamwow guy and runs like he's on a cocktail of Cocaine, Herion, and Red Bull. The scout runs fast fights fast and talks fast. http://dl.getdropbox.com/u/437089/scout.jpg
His main strength is that he can capture territory fast snd captrure objectives faster. Along with a shotgun this guy makes one hell of an offense. Unfortunately he has the durability of a Zergling.
The final two classes are very similar in use The Soldier and The Demoman.
The Soldeir http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/9/97/Soldier_taunts01.wav is a batshit insane man who believes America is the single greatest thing of all time. He also believes God sent him to earth to kill every last person he can. Making him clinically insane. His main weapon is a rocket launcher. Which fire slow moving rockets which can kill every class in one hit in the case of a Critical Hit. He can also use the weapon to gain a hieght advantage by Rocket Jumping. This class is insane cathertic and difficult to master. However you are only a tad faster than The Heavy Weapons Guy.
The Demoman (A Black Scottish Cyclops) http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/a/a4/Demoman_specialcompleted11.wav
Is an explosive expert. Laying remote activated mines and shooting grenades. With the added ability to wail on an enemy with a bottle of Scrumpy. He can also jump using explosives, much further and with a much higher risk.
Fuck I'm tired of typing so here's the end of my review.
I love this game 10/10
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