A Sexuality Problem..

[Lord Kloo]

Hello there.. I know this isn't the best place to ask but the anominity of the internet is nice..

I rather recently have started questioning my own sexuality and where indeed I may lie on the spectrum of sexuality (if there is indeed one).

Currently I am male, 18 and living in England and I have found a guy that I like, hes rather cute or so i think and this scares me, quite a lot, in addition to this I have always found homo/bisexual porn more appealing than hetro/lesbein etc. It leads me to believe that I may indeed be bisexual (either partly or a lot) as opposed to almost completely hetrosexual, I have only normally had feelings for girls (in person) up until now.

So is this me coming to terms with what is the truth or is this just the result of so far only being rejected by girls, being a hormonal angsty teenager or some other common factor. I know people like Freud over time have said that everyone has a small part of bisexuality in them but I've never known anyone else who is bisexual so I don't really know much..

Anyone with similar experiences or advice on how to understand myself or where to go to for help on the matter..

EDIT: on a slightly unrelated note, its a real shame that Love FAQ left the escapist.. that would have been quite useful.

 

[jonnosferatu]

This isn't really something any of us can answer, at least in terms of whether or not you're bi (or gay, though that certainly seems less likely).

My advice is to just pretend the labels don't exist and do whatever feels natural. Keep hanging out with him, see where it goes. It's not like there's anything wrong with being bi (or gay).

RE: Places you can go for help, that's probably more something to ask Google, but I can almost guarantee there's at least one LGBT(etc) help center in your area where you could go for advice.

 

[gazumped]

So, is it just that you like watching porn? Or are you also starting to find males sexually attractive?
Being turned on by watching porn isn't just about fancying the people involved, or identifying with one of the participants, it can often simply be the turn-on of watching something taboo and thrilling.

I, for example, enjoy watching some pretty grim stuff that I would neither want to do or to have done to me, but it turns me on because it's 'wrong' and that's exciting.

Your interest on guy-on-guy porn may simply be that it's out of the ordinary and something that you perceive as something you shouldn't be looking at, that you 'should' only want to see het or lesbian porn.

But, you know, you might end up with a guy at some point, even if it's just a bit of experimentation. A lot of people do it, I don't think you have to start worrying about a future of having to deal with society's views on same-sex relations just yet.

EDIT: Whoops, sorry, despite reading your post twice I somehow missed the bit about the cute guy until after I'd posted. But yeah, either way, I think you shouldn't stress about this too much, there's little need to label yourself, just go with the flow. Incidentally, I'm bi, this hasn't affected me yet in any real way because my friends and family (at least the members whose opinions I care about) aren't bigots, and no girl's ever returned my interest so I've not had to deal with any social stigma about having a girlfriend... yet.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

It is a difficult thing to understand. I started questioning myself at 16 and it wasnt until I was 19 I was 100% positive I was Bisexual. The problem is, is that our parents, todays media etc etc pressure us to fit in with what they believe is "society", and it causes us to re-think "is it a phase? are we wrong?"

I cant give you a definitive answer to it, but dont stress yourself out about it. take your time to find yourself and honestly: Fuck what others say or think about it. It's your life, you're body, you're decisions.

 

[Rin Little]

I'm bi too, and I bounced back and forth over it for a while too until I got my first legitimate crush on a girl in my theater class. After that happened it was pretty much "Yup, I like girls and guys." Don't stress yourself out over it too much, do what makes you happy, not what others think you should do to be happy.

 

[Sarcastic_Applause]

Hello there.. I know this isn't the best place to ask but the anominity of the internet is nice..

I rather recently have started questioning my own sexuality and where indeed I may lie on the spectrum of sexuality (if there is indeed one).

Currently I am male, 18 and living in England and I have found a guy that I like, hes rather cute or so i think and this scares me, quite a lot, in addition to this I have always found homo/bisexual porn more appealing than hetro/lesbein etc. It leads me to believe that I may indeed be bisexual (either partly or a lot) as opposed to almost completely hetrosexual, I have only normally had feelings for girls (in person) up until now.

So is this me coming to terms with what is the truth or is this just the result of so far only being rejected by girls, being a hormonal angsty teenager or some other common factor. I know people like Freud over time have said that everyone has a small part of bisexuality in them but I've never known anyone else who is bisexual so I don't really know much..

Anyone with similar experiences or advice on how to understand myself or where to go to for help on the matter..

EDIT: on a slightly unrelated note, its a real shame that Love FAQ left the escapist.. that would have been quite useful.

One of Us...

Just messing. I'm finding myself on the same page; Found myself attracted to boys when i was 18 and living in Winchester (a UK guy here too), it got to a point where i'd been out with more guys than girls. After talking to this one guy that i feel really strongly attached to, i'm starting to find myself accepting what it is i am: a nutjo- Bisexual.

But really, sexuality, much like time, is relative; if you're attracted to a boy, then you like a boy, If a girl, then a girl, or if you get both, that's what we'd call 'Result'.

that fear could be the old instinct of 'liking a guy is wrong'; If there are feelings there for whatever gender, don't let old ideals get in the way, pursue them, and don't give in to fear.

Hope this helps somehow

 

[Zoop]

Can relate and sympathize with this entirely, seeing as I started out almost the exact same. I'm bisexual, but for the most part I won't tell people that. I'll either say I'm gay or straight, depending on the situation. People really don't seem to like the idea of other people being bi. I can't even begin to count the amount of times I've been told bisexuals are just in denial about being homosexual. People either want you to be one or the other, you can't be in between, and it's rather aggravating when people reason like that. Therefore I just tell people I'm one or the other. No fighting necessary.

To be honest, if it were up to me, I'd remove the labels for homosexuality entirely. I wouldn't say I'm attracted to boys or girls. I'm attracted to people.

As for advice, the best I can give you is to go with it. Just wait and see what happens. Don't let it worry or frighten you, and don't let anyone's perception of bi/homosexuality get to you. You're just going to end up being miserable.

I also first started by only watching non-straight porn and kept trying to convince myself that it's a 'phase' and that it means nothing. It really ate away at me at some point, because I was only watching gay porn and hated myself for it, but didn't stop either. In time I just made peace with it, waited to see how things panned out, and now I've pretty much accepted that I'm bi.

Came out to my friends about six months back, and expected to not have many left afterwards, but to my surprise they were rather supportive with the whole idea. If you have friends you trust, tell them. It's really helpful not having to deal with it on your own.

 

[Viridian]

Do what you want to do, Man. That's all there is to it. Nobody here can decide your sexuality for you. We can't analyze you with our probing internet minds. We can guess, but we're all pretty much full of shit here. Decide for yourself. It's not like you can't change your mind later and decide that boobs are the way to go.

Personal Opinion: Boobs are the way to go man. JUST LOOK AT 'EM.

Awesome.

/post objectifying women's body parts