A simple question...
- Thread starter Glamorgan
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You can't help who you like.
That's neither right or wrong.
What's right or wrong is whether you act on it.
That's neither right or wrong.
What's right or wrong is whether you act on it.
What do you mean by 'like' in that question?Glamorgan said:
If it means 'romantically and sexually attracted to', then my answer is no. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
Hell, I don't even think there's anything really wrong with actively pursuing someone who is in a relationship. If you really want someone, you should go get him/her. There will be consequences, obviously, but it's your call.
There is no right and wrong here, this is what we call a moral ambiguity. =]
Whether or not to act on your attraction is a whole 'nother question though; There are compelling cases for and against (Romeo and Juliet, Titanic, most of the other classic love tales) but in the end you have t ask yourself what is best:
Do you act now and possibly lose the (I'm assuming here) friendship with this person?
OR
Do you wait and possibly lose track of this person?
I don't mean to be overly clinical, just a habit. I've been in your situation myself and I know what your going through, unfortunately there is no concrete guidance to be had. You just have to wing it.
I wish you happiness and luck. =]
Whether or not to act on your attraction is a whole 'nother question though; There are compelling cases for and against (Romeo and Juliet, Titanic, most of the other classic love tales) but in the end you have t ask yourself what is best:
Do you act now and possibly lose the (I'm assuming here) friendship with this person?
OR
Do you wait and possibly lose track of this person?
I don't mean to be overly clinical, just a habit. I've been in your situation myself and I know what your going through, unfortunately there is no concrete guidance to be had. You just have to wing it.
I wish you happiness and luck. =]
It's not wrong, but it is unpleasant. Been there, done that, got a whole fucking wardrobe full of t-shirts. My advice is to try and move on as quickly as possible lest you end up mooning around over a girl who isn't interested, because that can go on for a long time and it makes you feel like shit.Glamorgan said:
It's not wrong at all.
And it's not even wrong to speak up your feelings, cause there is one universal truth about relationships: a third person CAN NOT ruin a relationship. (that is when the third person goes for someone of the two people "in love"). If that happens, the relationship was not working already and there can be million reasons why. So, don't feel bad about it. Just be brave, you have absolutely nothing to lose. Good luck.
And it's not even wrong to speak up your feelings, cause there is one universal truth about relationships: a third person CAN NOT ruin a relationship. (that is when the third person goes for someone of the two people "in love"). If that happens, the relationship was not working already and there can be million reasons why. So, don't feel bad about it. Just be brave, you have absolutely nothing to lose. Good luck.
I understand why your asking I'm in the same situation. It's not wrong to have feelings for others but I cant say if acting on it would be bad or not. That's a morality question & I'm not good with those.
Gouge your tendrils or doubt into the third party and steal that woman for yourself, boy.
Life's too short to sit around waiting.
Life's too short to sit around waiting.
Nothing is right or wrong in this world only insane and stupid.
Because lets face it has happend to us all ^^ And right now I'm in love with a guy who's in a relationship..But that was before he went into it so I'm clean
Because lets face it has happend to us all ^^ And right now I'm in love with a guy who's in a relationship..But that was before he went into it so I'm clean
Liking someone who's in a relationship isn't wrong. Acting on those feelings would be, because you'd be intruding on someone else's happiness and a presumably happy relationship. But just having those feelings isn't wrong.
Having feelings is perfectly natural. Acting on those feelings is what decides if you're a good or bad person for doing so. At the risk of sounding controversial, I even believe that having sexual feelings for a child, or feeling so angry about something you want to murder someone, aren't wrong. However, I think paedophilia itself and murder are both wrong, and those who engage in either act should be punished to the fullest extent of the law (and yes, that includes the death penalty in countries where that still happens).
The difference is that the former are just thoughts and feelings, which are perfectly natural. The latter is acting on those feelings, which is down to a person's self-control, and not just down to nature. If you can't control yourself enough to not act on those feelings, then you shouldn't be out on the streets.
I realise that's gone completely off-topic, I just thought it would be a (somewhat) nice area for discussion in addition to the original topic at hand...
Having feelings is perfectly natural. Acting on those feelings is what decides if you're a good or bad person for doing so. At the risk of sounding controversial, I even believe that having sexual feelings for a child, or feeling so angry about something you want to murder someone, aren't wrong. However, I think paedophilia itself and murder are both wrong, and those who engage in either act should be punished to the fullest extent of the law (and yes, that includes the death penalty in countries where that still happens).
The difference is that the former are just thoughts and feelings, which are perfectly natural. The latter is acting on those feelings, which is down to a person's self-control, and not just down to nature. If you can't control yourself enough to not act on those feelings, then you shouldn't be out on the streets.
I realise that's gone completely off-topic, I just thought it would be a (somewhat) nice area for discussion in addition to the original topic at hand...
I agree with everyone else on here. Theres nothing wrong with liking the person, but it would be best for you not to say anything as it may complicate things and cause you to lose friendships over it. If this person were to express to you though that they liked you whilst still being in this relationship then it would take a serious evaluation of the situation to figure out where to go from there. But for the time being, its probably best to just keep quiet.
As long as you don't make a move while they're still in a relationship, it's cool with me. I think it's wrong to move in on other bloke's territory - I feel like an ass for calling women that but I can't think of a word that expresses my feelings on this better (hoping I don't sound like a chauvinist pigdog, it's something I'm trying to cut down on). But shit, I believe that if two guys are going after the same girl, the second bloke on the field should step off (if the first bloke fucks up his approach, well the other bloke can make his afterward). If most blokes followed this a lot of guys might find things a lot easier romance wise (people become a lot more confident and willing to take risks if they know they won't be competing against perceived superior adversaries).