A test of illogical creativity.

[Nyaliva]

A virtually unending supply of sodium pentathol, a means to administer it without notice and old-fashioned English charm.

Use the sodium pentathol to coax the guards to let me out, gain followers whom I can use to take over the world, then once everyone is under my control, I tell them God doesn't exist, thus destroying the idea of Him. The charm is so I can get the girl, I don't find the idea of having a girlfriend who has no mind of her own perticularly enticing.

 

[Alcamonic]

A hairpin made of wax, a red balloon and a iPhone 4S with unlimited access to Google. After all, knowledge is power!

 

[Bealzibob]

Words, specifically a bunch of words requesting that you come up with a bunch of items to take over the world among a few other options. I'll use these words to get everyone so busy trying to come up with something stupidly and usually quite predictably random that they won't notice my other choices until it's too late. My other choices, a giant army of war mecha and a indestructable unholy airship (Because airships are cool) will sneak into peoples pantries (Cept for the airship for obvious reasons) and attack of signal forcing the entire world into submission. With all the world distracted I'll easily sneak out of jail, after aquiring world domination I'll choose a mistress (I'll give her a war mecha, bitches love war mecha). With the churches banished and all the pastors wives sullied, God will be weakened and destitute and at this point I'll strike bombarding him with my airship.

Also the war mecha will be designed as terrifying clowns as to leave a lasting imprint of the children of the new world and crash the clown industry so that no one is left to challenge my rule.

EDIT: Big edit cause I misunderstood how much we had to do with these items.

 

[lRookiel]

1: A crowbar
2: HEV suit
3: A name change to gordon freeman

Nothing can stop me.

EDIT: so basically I would break out of jail using my trusty crowbar, get the girl by using my trusty crowbar (WHAT?) kill god by using my trusty crowbar (Now wait this is getting ridiculous!) And take over the world by gathering all the worlds gaming community and creating some sort of resistance, they would follow me cause I'm gordon fucking freeman for christ sake!

It's bulletproof!

 

[Darkstorm13]

This is simple.
1) Some highly corrosive acid to get out of jail
2) The access codes to all of America and Russia's nuclear stockpiles to take over the world
3) I already have the girl of my dreams, and god doesn't exist so can't be destroyed. So for my last item I'll have a cool 100 million dollars

 

[Darkstorm13]

And just for the hell of it, a less serious answer
1) A wooden table
2) Pandora's Box
3) Again, 100 million dollars since I already have the girl of my dreams

I'll simply bang my head on the table until it gets sore. I'll use the saw (sore) to cut the table in half. Two halves make a hole, so I'll climb out the hole. That's my jail escape done. Now, Pandora's box contains the power to kill a god (at least in the God of War games it does, buggered if I know what Greek mythology says it contains) so I'll open it and use that power to kill God, then when the world has seen me kill him (or her) I'll be able to pretty much do what I want, because as far as they know I could easily kill anyone (which I could, if I have any leftover power from the box). Already got the girl of my dreams (and if I didn't I probably could quite easily get her after all this) so I'll take my hundred million dollars and live a happy life as ruler of the world (I know the 100 million is pointless when I'm ruler of the world but I couldn't think of anything I'd really want)

 

[BeerTent]

A crowbar, a glass of milk, and bacon.

Always bacon.

I like this one. Although, for all intents and purposes, because a tent and a person are quite different, even though sometimes tent and man may live in harmony, I'd swap two of those things out.

Drop the Crowbar for a Sledgehammer,
Milk is not... for Tents. Instead, perhaps I'll go for a little box of horrors. What's in it? Beats me, I'm not fucking looking in it.
And the important part... Bacon Strips
& Bacon Strips
& Bacon Strips
& Bacon Strips
& Bacon Strips
& Bacon Strips
[...]

 

[Not-here-anymore]

Cynically speaking, money, money, and money. Three of the four objectives are easily achieved. Killing God will just take time.

Less cynically, a decent suit, a broadcasting centre and a printing press

The suit, with a little confidence, should allow me to simply walk out of jail. Also, being well dressed can't hurt when it comes to getting the girl and taking over the world.

The broadcast centre/printing press is kind of a long game, but eventually I will control all the world's media. I'd start by broadcasting on already used channels for fractions of a second, delivering subliminal messages of various forms. Suggestions that people should watch my news show on TV, listen to it on the radio, or buy my papers would be written in the background of adverts and other people's shows, for example. If I control global knowledge flow, I control the world.

Killing a god is harder. Same principle as the taking over the world bit, but it'd take longer. You'd need to completely erode all belief in a celestial deity to entirely destroy it. Misinformation is key here. Semi-regular reports on miracles happening in all religions, such that no single belief system seems more valid than another. God is dead as graffiti in a number of TV shows and in real life. News reports on the existence of aliens, and brief messages from them suggesting either their own crazy religious system or that they've emphatically disproved the notion of a higher power. Yes, those reports will be bullshit.

Actually getting the girl is the hardest part. I'll get back to you on that one. But the suit should help.

 

[Theo Rob]

A warmech,a katana and a pack of biscuits

The mech to break out of jail, and the biscuits to break the ice with the girl, and together we shall rule the world, then as ruler ill raise a army and take down heaven and hell.

 

[Zantos]

An Xbox360 controller, my mobile phone, a poker set.

Break out of jail by bludgening the wall with the controller, use the phone to hack into computer systems worldwide and shut everything down until people hand over power to me. Play poker to the death with God and win! The girl of my dreams would, by definition, be so impressed with my awesomeness after the above that she'd fall head over heels for me.

 

[Kargathia]

The Ultimate Guide To Reasoning With Idiots. Which I shall use to do all of that.

It does leave me with two wishes left. Make that a sandwich and a coffee. I'm hungry.

 

[Dethenger]

One item per task:

Break out of jail: Get out of jail free card (replace with vast amounts of money if you're incredulous: Either way it comes down to my... Monopoly [http://mirrors.rit.edu/instantCSI/])

Get the girl/guy of your dreams: Keystone beer, because it's always smooth, even when I'm not.

Kill god and take over the world: A copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Boom: God is dead.

 

[vidirg]

Lockpick, the first bible and a credit card with infinite money


Lockpick to get out of jail, the first bible I'll burn it or something didn't really think that one through, but the infinite money to get the girl and rule the world

 

[Vault101]

ummmm

rock hammer...(jail)

chloroform soaked rag (guy)

video camera....(world....becaome an internet celebrity, gather followers..you get the Idea)

yeah..not very creative

 

[DarkishFriend]

A voice, an idea and time.

 

[Cazza]

Chips to bribe the guard to let me out.

Flowers to get the girl of my dream.

And all of the UN as hostages. To take over the world.
or
More chips to bribe them into letting me run the world.

 

[Hylke Langhout]

1. A portal gun that works on any surface
To get out of jail, and because well... why not?
2. Infinite money
Research into large-scale portal technology, to make a robot army, and anything else the hell I want.
3. A sequel to Psychonauts made specially for my girlfriend. Psychonauts is her favorite game.

 

[Frybird]

A laptop, a glass of water and a bible

Now, i'm not a religious person, but it should be thick enough to be a weapon and i still consider it awesome to break out of jail and take over the world with a bible.

 

[Count Igor]

Fus, Ro and Dah.

I can smash the walls, give great head, blow God over a mountain and threaten all the world leaders.