A thought exercise for budding megalomaniacs

[werepossum]

Why on earth would anyone want to rule the world? I can't think of a more stressful, unrewarding, dangerous job. Look at the current PM, Gordon Brown. See how haggard he is from the stress of trying to keep Blighty out of the shitter? Now take that haggardness and multiply it by ten, cos you are going to have some major headaches trying to keep the world under your sway. Trying to keep the world economy under control, keeping the masses in check, having to avoid assassinations every other day, no time off, no gratitude... it's enough to make you pack it all in and go find your zen in the wilderness.

I'm with you. Running anything is stressful, and the bigger the entity, the greater the stress. Plus, running anything major attracts herds of yapping ignorant dickholes; one man running the world would attract so many YIDHs that the very air you breath would be tainted.

If I had to run anything, it would be a small, near-deserted tropical island, with no inhabitants other than employees, family, and close friends. But I'd have to buy it or win it; I'm not badly enough in need of anything to steal.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

more than likely, my first step would be to cultivate some type of cult. this would be a primary testing ground in order to refine my rhetoric and social influence. i would probably modify some techniques from Christianity and Scientology while re-creating a whole new base of semantics to add a layer of mystic confusion. i would also probably add a dash of Golden Dawn-ish Freemasonry just to give the pretense of being a historic order or belief.

key things to avoid
- don't involve children or teens
- don't stockpile guns or illegal drugs

have to be sure to keep child protective services, ATF, and FBI out of my hair while in this crucial developmental phase.

from there, i would reorganize the following into satellite-like kibitz groups based around some form of economic production. maybe textiles or regional produce? once my capital reached a peak level, i would leverage into the entertainment business with a Oprah friendly iteration of the cults beliefs allowing for a socially friendly facade.

after that, it would be all about buying up international debt, procurring the services of small foreign military forces, and having my organization intercept small corrupt governments at key levels of power.

broad strokes i know, but i've only given it a little bit of thought.

 

[Excelcior]

I'd probably hire some geophysics and robotics scientist, their payment will be not getting whipped. I'll let the geo-guys invent something to poop out some volcanoes somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, both making me my own kingdom, and pumping so much ash into the air, giving it a rather... Arctic climate. (What!? I hate sweaty feet!)
Furthermore, I'd let the robo-geeks design me an army of, well, robots, to keep all the bad guys away. (or good guys, depends on how you look at it...)
Yes, I know the water that was in the place of my new island has to go somewhere, but sacrifices must be made.
Oh, and no, I don't have any 'hired' scientists below that trap door behind the fake wall in my cellar.

 

[Khedive Rex]

I don't need to speculate on this particular topic; I already rule the world. I don't want to give away my strategy (cause frankly I'm enjoying limitless power and another emperor would cramp my style) but suffice it to say the real trick is geting freindly with the folks who are already in charge. For the moment lets call them the Bavarian Illuminati. They seem to be enjoying that cover recently.

 

[Randomologist]

I plan to adopt the Crysis method: Create a vast, beautiful landscape in which to build your evil not-so-secret base. Hide snipers in every bush, tree and plant pot, and make sure the player hero is wearing a bright pink T-shirt that says in big bold letters, "Mad Gunman HERE".