A Zombie Apocalypse: How awesome would this be?

[Fawcks]

We've all been thinking about this since the rumored "Rapture" yesterday, that if the world were to end, we'd be faced with an apocalyptic scenario. However, the youth of today can no longer be excited with your run of the mill calamities, earthquakes, tornadoes, tsunamis, etc., they demand something more. This is the end of the WORLD, after all, and once the rapture's over, I'm sure the Father is not interested in you impressing him, no. He'll be here to impress YOU.

When you think about it, though, we've prepared our whole lives for this. Mankind saw the signs. It knew this day would come. Throughout out childhood and adolescence, unbeknownst to us, we've been readying ourselves for this day. Bioshock. House of the Dead. Resident Evil. Dead Rising. We've beaten all these games. We have what it takes to survive a zombie apocalypse, thanks to the gentle tutelage of game developpers and movie directors.

Aim for the head. Avoid windows. Close doors. Barricade passageways. Use the shotgun at close range. Malls are awesome.

So, now that a good 80% of the population has become zombies (forget them, though; they were obviously losers. This is YOUR time to shine!), here's the all-important question: With the knowledge and tools at your disposal, assuming you woke up to a drastically changed landscape with at least 3 of the unclean, disgusting mongrels clawing at your door, with cars overturned in the road and random things on fire, what would YOU do? How would YOU survive? What tactics, and team mates would YOU employ?

It's all about you, after all!

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

I would die, you would die, we would all die.

Well, unless the zombies are of the slow variety, but that would make me question as to how the hell 80% of the population got infected in the first place.

 

[Fawcks]

I would die, you would die, we would all die.

Well, unless the zombies are of the slow variety, but that would make me question as to how the hell 80% of the population got infected in the first place.

They were sleeping. Did you miss the part where I said, "you woke up to"...?

 

[Vern5]

It would suck enormous, corpulent balls. Why is everyone so obsessed with the Zombie Apocalypse?
Food would become scarce in certain places. Sleeping anywhere for a long period of time will probably end with you being feasted upon or surrounded. Every non-zombie you meet will probably be so stressed and freaked out by their living in fear that they will shoot you on sight. Seriously, it would all just suck.

 

[Ghengis John]

It would suck enormous, corpulent balls. Why is everyone so obsessed with the Zombie Apocalypse?
Food would become scarce in certain places. Sleeping anywhere for a long period of time will probably end with you being feasted upon or surrounded. Every non-zombie you meet will probably be so stressed and freaked out by their living in fear that they will shoot you on sight. Seriously, it would all just suck.

What this guy said. "Oh wow a zombie apocalypse... that would be so awesome. I could shoot people all day and barricade my house!" You realize your dream is essentially to become a crazed "militia" man right? I can understand wanting to see an end to the current system of society. But all the same I'll pass on the constant terror, dead loved ones and vastly reduced dating options, thankyou.

My uncle Albert was in the Normandy invasion. He was a flame specialist. He'd ride on a flame tank and then from time to time jump off and run around with a flame thrower. Anyhow, his experiences in the war made him pretty staunchly anti-war but he's full of tidbits of combat wisdom and one thing he told me was something like this: "It's the guys who want to fight that get into trouble." I'm inclined to think the people who want a zombie apocalypse would be among the first to die for some reason.

 

[artanis_neravar]

I would go to my campus Public Safety (all public safety officers here are certified state troopers and as a result have the shotguns and riot gear in their cars) Since most of the path to get there is through the campus and almost no one is here anymore the cars in the raod wouldn't be an issue, then i would get my best friend and his fiance (they are the closest to me location wise) and we would travel to Smith and Wesson and load up, then find a nice building, two floors preferably, and set up a temporary base on the roof. Once we are ready head to The Cape and go to Martha's Vineyard, clear it out and live there

 

[Seanfall]

I forget where I saw it but... Basically it was a scientifically minded point by point column of why a zombie invasion wouldn't work.

The weather would either freeze or dry them out, they can't heal even basic wounds, Bacteria would destroy them, Wild animals would destroy them (humans have no natural weapons and the slow shuffling of zombies makes them easy prey for faster larger mammals) of course the animals thing is dependent on whatever caused it to be limited to humans.

So...even if a lot of people were killed in the initial wave. Survivors wouldn't have to wait more then a year or two for the zombies to die out...again.

 

[artanis_neravar]

It would suck enormous, corpulent balls. Why is everyone so obsessed with the Zombie Apocalypse?
Food would become scarce in certain places. Sleeping anywhere for a long period of time will probably end with you being feasted upon or surrounded. Every non-zombie you meet will probably be so stressed and freaked out by their living in fear that they will shoot you on sight. Seriously, it would all just suck.

It's the fact that you can defend yourself without having the crushing guilt of killing someone who is just trying to provide for their family on your conscience

 

[artanis_neravar]

I forget where I saw it but... Basically it was a scientifically minded point by point column of why a zombie invasion wouldn't work.

The weather would either freeze or dry them out, they can't heal even basic wounds, Bacteria would destroy them, Wild animals would destroy them (humans have no natural weapons and the slow shuffling of zombies makes them easy prey for faster larger mammals) of course the animals thing is dependent on whatever caused it to be limited to humans.

So...even if a lot of people were killed in the initial wave. Survivors wouldn't have to wait more then a year or two for the zombies to die out...again.

Your logic is flawed, since zombies have never actually existed there is no way of knowing how they would react to the environment. Also it's the surviving for a year or two that is the hard part.

 

[burningdragoon]

I can't be the only person who'd like a good old fashioned fighting demons apocalypse? Zombies are getting a little boring. Especially since everyone's plan is basically the same and yet everyone thinks they have it right.

Anyway, I'd probably die towards the middle. Not resourceful or able enough with weapons to survive forever, but not an idiot... assuming I'm not just weeping in a corner. That's also kinda likely.

 

[Super Toast]

I forget where I saw it but... Basically it was a scientifically minded point by point column of why a zombie invasion wouldn't work.

The weather would either freeze or dry them out, they can't heal even basic wounds, Bacteria would destroy them, Wild animals would destroy them (humans have no natural weapons and the slow shuffling of zombies makes them easy prey for faster larger mammals) of course the animals thing is dependent on whatever caused it to be limited to humans.

So...even if a lot of people were killed in the initial wave. Survivors wouldn't have to wait more then a year or two for the zombies to die out...again.

Is this it?

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

OT: If the zombies were actually a viable threat, I would die in five minutes flat.

 

[Nerdstar]

We've all been thinking about this since the rumored "Rapture" yesterday, that if the world were to end, we'd be faced with an apocalyptic scenario. However, the youth of today can no longer be excited with your run of the mill calamities, earthquakes, tornadoes, tsunamis, etc., they demand something more. This is the end of the WORLD, after all, and once the rapture's over, I'm sure the Father is not interested in you impressing him, no. He'll be here to impress YOU.

When you think about it, though, we've prepared our whole lives for this. Mankind saw the signs. It knew this day would come. Throughout out childhood and adolescence, unbeknownst to us, we've been readying ourselves for this day. Bioshock. House of the Dead. Resident Evil. Dead Rising. We've beaten all these games. We have what it takes to survive a zombie apocalypse, thanks to the gentle tutelage of game developpers and movie directors.

Aim for the head. Avoid windows. Close doors. Barricade passageways. Use the shotgun at close range. Malls are awesome.

So, now that a good 80% of the population has become zombies (forget them, though; they were obviously losers. This is YOUR time to shine!), here's the all-important question: With the knowledge and tools at your disposal, assuming you woke up to a drastically changed landscape with at least 3 of the unclean, disgusting mongrels clawing at your door, with cars overturned in the road and random things on fire, what would YOU do? How would YOU survive? What tactics, and team mates would YOU employ?

It's all about you, after all!

on paper it sounds awesome and like a barrel full of monkeys, in REAL life however it would be the worst thing to happen EVER in the history of all mankind. also that said malls an awful place to hide in a zombie apocalypse because A) t large and indefeasible with multiple breach points and shit tons of places for zombies to hide so once you "secure" the mall and go to bed there's a good possibility that you ll wake up to being a dinner buffet,B)supply will run out and then you ll slowly starve to death,than you need to take into account all the human raiders that are bound to come looking to take all your nice stuff,etc,etc

in short malls are an awful place to hold up

that said the answer (for me a t least is rather simple) i take what i can and hightale it to the nearest Mariana (i live in FL so threes a good bit of them around) and head for the nearest oil rig, not only will it have the basic crap i need (deslainazion equipment, an abundance of marine life to catch and eat,etc,etc)its basicly a self contained city complete with communications equipment, movietherters,and everything else i need to ride out the apocalypse and odds are it'll be deserted since few people think to go there and the workers will have left to go die with there faimys. its safe from zombies because they wouldn't be able to climb up the rig nor would the be able to access the latter even if they were nothing but a mas of bloated tissue, my only REAL threats would be pirates,hurricanes, and rust.

 

[Biodeamon]

contrary top popular belief it would not be fun.
loved ones would die, civialzations could be destroyed, you be forced to kill your re-animated loved-ones or your uninfected loved-ones if you fall victim to the plaugue.

 

[Vern5]

It would suck enormous, corpulent balls. Why is everyone so obsessed with the Zombie Apocalypse?
Food would become scarce in certain places. Sleeping anywhere for a long period of time will probably end with you being feasted upon or surrounded. Every non-zombie you meet will probably be so stressed and freaked out by their living in fear that they will shoot you on sight. Seriously, it would all just suck.

It's the fact that you can defend yourself without having the crushing guilt of killing someone who is just trying to provide for their family on your conscience

But why even bother? Here would be a run down of a typical survivor day. You wake up and break whatever constituted last night's camp. You start foraging for food and equipment (ammo, medicine, toilet paper, etc.). You're going to run into a lot of zombies over the course of the day and, assuming you want to continue your tortured lonely existence, you kill them all. Then, you take your supplies and hide somewhere to sleep but only if you could shake the zombies from your trail.

Or, you could do roughly the same thing in a fortified building of sorts but that would probably be the most tortured existence of all. Imagine spending every day waking up in the same place and going outside only to find that more zombies are shuffling around the side of your building? That's all you would be expecting day in and day out: death.

Yes, you would get to shoot walking corpses without guilt but, when you find yourself doing the same bloody thing for years, the novelty will quickly wear off.

In short, I would try out a week of the Zombie Apocalypse lifestyle before blowing my brains out due to a mixture of stress, boredom and monotony. Seriously, who would enjoy this life?

 

[Seanfall]

I forget where I saw it but... Basically it was a scientifically minded point by point column of why a zombie invasion wouldn't work.

The weather would either freeze or dry them out, they can't heal even basic wounds, Bacteria would destroy them, Wild animals would destroy them (humans have no natural weapons and the slow shuffling of zombies makes them easy prey for faster larger mammals) of course the animals thing is dependent on whatever caused it to be limited to humans.

So...even if a lot of people were killed in the initial wave. Survivors wouldn't have to wait more then a year or two for the zombies to die out...again.

Is this it?

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

OT: If the zombies were actually a viable threat, I would die in five minutes flat.

Yeah that's it.

@artanis_neravar: Granted but we do know how dead bodies react. And a zombie is, in theory a moving did body.

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

I think the Walking Dead proved that a zombie apocalypse would be extremely not awesome.

 

[BoogieManFL]

It somewhat depends on what kind of zombies. Undead? Living?

They would be be subject to the elements, such as bugs nesting in them and eating them as well as regions with dangerous creatures that could easily maul a zombie to death. Undead ones will freeze in a cold region.

Living ones would likely eventually starve and also be subject to the elements and diseases since they no longer know how to keep themselves clean.

Since I live in Florida, alligators and large cats are around and would likely be drawn in by all the tasty mindless zombies to snack on. For living ones - anyone who stays outside virtually all the time will get very bad sunburns which will eventually become infected and without treatment probably kill them. On the right days during the summer you can get sunburned in less than an hour. And it's very humid and hot so bugs would have a good time. Wild dogs now without owners would probably take a toll on the zombie population too, especially the breeds more likely to form a pack.

So ultimately in any event it seems the best thing to do would be to find a place like a store with lots of non perishable food, barricade up, and let the elements take them out.

 

[Fidelias]

Dude, if the apocalypse WERE to happen, it wouldn't be something as obvious and beatable as zombies. I mean, come on. Zombies. Unless they can actually think intelligently (which would make them revenants, I believe) they would be simple to hold back, and destroy. I mean, the shotgun is the zombie weapon of choice for a reason. Has as much range as you'd need against zombies, it's the easiest weapon to get a hold of, and the easiest weapon to find ammo for.

No, what we will be facing is giant Mutant-Samurai-Vampire-Squirrels dual-wielding rocketlaunchers. THAT'S an apocalypse.

 

[Jake0fTrades]

Everyone within 178.62 miles would all go to my local mall for our top notch hunting stores, so I'm taking every gun in my house, shotgun and pistol, and I'm heading out for my grandparents house in the country. Wide view to see any and all zombies approaching.

I'll probably put in a minefield or two.

 

[Swyftstar]

I'm surprised at a lot of the negative comments. This is pure escapist fantasy. The situation is far from ideal and it may not be your cup of tea but why not have a little fun with it.

Me, first thing, police supply store for some body armor and weapons, second grab the guys I know can hack it, third, procure transport. Screw cars, unreliable and rely on fuel, hit up the bike store. Fourth, hit the coast, grab a nice yacht and search for an island with a finite supply of zombies to eliminate, then live of the land.