AAARGH. Why is getting married this hard?

[Bratzzzzzz]

Hey Guys,

Basically the story is this, and i'd like to ask some advice...

I've met the girl of my dreams and after living together for three years we have decided to get married. I am actually really ok about the prospect as she is perfect for me, for instance she let me play Icewind Dale 2 last night for 5 hours, whilst bringing me dinner e.c.t.

Now, we are doing all the preparations where we get the engagement party booked and set, and heirein lies my problem.... My parents hate each other, and have been divorced for the last 14 years. Like they go "Battle Formations" crazy when they see each other.

I know that if my mum goes, my dad won't. My Fiance is having her extended family come(aunts and uncles from the uk e.c.t.)

My family is non-existant, so the seating plan is this:

Fiance's Side VS. My Side
xxxxxxxxxxxxx_______xxxxx <------ One or two of these might not come
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yeah, thats right. I have Family envy.

So, suggestions on ways i can get my insane parents to shut up and sit quietly on what is supposed to be my day?

 

[bodyklok]

for instance she let me play Icewind Dale 2 last night for 5 hours, whilst bringing me dinner e.c.t.

God, I wish I was in your shoes.

 

[Namewithheld]

Hmm...

Hmm...

Errr...

Tell your parents to grow the fuck up and be there?

I dunnkow, I've never had this problem before.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Honestly? Don't invite them.

It's your wedding day. If they go there and get into a fight, it'll ruin the occasion. It sucks, BIG TIME, but it's best to be sad about someone missing out then be pissed about there being a screaming match while your fiance walks down the aisle.

That's just my opinion, though... whatever you go with, good luck, and congradulations!

 

[LadyZephyr]

Blackmail. :nods:

But no, uh... Remind them that this is a day you will (hopefully) only get once, and for the love of god, you want it to be peaceful. They can snipe at each other any other day, but could they please let you have this one?

Or blackmail.

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Its hard to comment due to me being completely unsympathetic as I can even land a girlfriend.. apologies.

But um I seriously think if you talk them they will put you above their own quibbles. But I could be naive it wouldn't be the first time.

 

[black lincon]

sit one in the front and one in the back, or tell them that the other isn't coming and watch the shenanigans ensue! Okay, so don't do that last one.

 

[Gxas]

Honestly, if they hate each other that much that they cannot stand to be in the same room on their son's wedding day, something is really wrong. It isn't about them, it is yours and your fiancee's wedding day, they should be there to support you and set aside their differences for a day. My suggestion would be to invite both, and confront each one saying that it is your day and that you would be absolutely crushed if they ruined it for you by either not showing up or fighting. Try to make them understand.

Congratulations on your wedding. I hope it all works out for you.

 

[the captain]

One of my friends has family issues like this so he convinced his fiancee to elope. The best part was that they pocketed all of the money for the wedding and took a 2 month honeymoon in the Florida Keys and the Bahamas. Plus they still saved enough money to put a good down payment on a house.

 

[Captinchunk]

That does indeed suck even though you are possibly the luckyest bloke with a lady like that haha
They need to see that its your day and they can fight anytime but this day is special as parents that love you they should undetstand

Or go with zeph and use blackmail thats always fun


Oh and btw GZ

 

[rekabdarb]

tell them to stop being such fuckin babies and kick them in the crotch and say: this is possibly one of the biggest things in my life so put your arguing aside AND FUCKING STOP FIGHTING AND COME TO MY GOD DAMN WEDDING!

 

[Dirty Apple]

I humbly suggest that you talk with each of them and apply "Intervention" style ultimatums.

1. I want both of you to be an active part of my life.
2. If you are incappable of behaving on this one special day than you can't be a part of my life.
3. You are both important to me, but I can't risk threatening my family's future because you two can't get along.
4. So choose: Bite your tongue and smile or be happy with watching grandchildren grow up via school pictures.

Just my humble advice.

 

[teisjm]

Give each of them a pair of boxing gloves and there you go... Free entertainment!

 

[cainx10a]

Honestly, if they hate each other that much that they cannot stand to be in the same room on their son's wedding day, something is really wrong. It isn't about them, it is yours and your fiancee's wedding day, they should be there to support you and set aside their differences for a day. My suggestion would be to invite both, and confront each one saying that it is your day and that you would be absolutely crushed if they ruined it for you by either not showing up or fighting. Try to make them understand.

Congratulations on your wedding. I hope it all works out for you.

This. Congrats, and really, try talking to both of them separately.

 

[DarkRyter]

Damn, that'll be one unbalanced wedding.

You need to start making some family, FAST.

 

[Bratzzzzzz]

Honestly? Don't invite them.

It's your wedding day. If they go there and get into a fight, it'll ruin the occasion. It sucks, BIG TIME, but it's best to be sad about someone missing out then be pissed about there being a screaming match while your fiance walks down the aisle.

That's just my opinion, though... whatever you go with, good luck, and congradulations!

What he says.

It's not like you won't be able to marry if your parents aren't there. Hell, who gives a damn.

I mean, imagine if you do manage to get them together to come to the wedding... What if they get pissed off somewhere half way and end up screaming at each other and possibly, but hopefully not, fighting at the table?

That could end up a lot worse then, I don't know, inviting just one of them. Or none at all.

Seriously.

I've already gotten to that point of not wanting to invite anyone but my younger brother and sister (They rule) but according to my Fiance i HAVE to invite my parents, so thats not an option. Oh god i wish it was, since my dad moved cities to get away from my mum.. and all that did was make me carry messages like "get fucked" between my parents.

My parents are assholes, and as a direct consequense of this fact i have no family that i have ever been introduced to, so i don't even have anyone that can pretend to be my parents lol

 

[randommaster]

You could convince them by only asking them to sit through the ceremony. They wouldn't even have to talk to each other.

As for the family envy, you could try seating by males/females to make things more even. This would even help with the parents problem.

 

[Jzolr0708]

Im no expert on this, but what I'd do is say this to them.

"Mom, Dad, this is my big day. I'm getting Married! Hopefully, this will be the last time. And it would break my heart if you two came to the wedding and fought, or didn't come at all. Your my parents. I love you. And I want nothing more then for when I look out at everyone there, that I see you two. So please, I know its hard, but it would mean the world to me if you both came, and get to share this wonderful day with me."

 

[ElderScribe]

Your wedding day is about you and your soon to be spouse, not about anybody else...if your family cannot put aside their dislike towards eachother for a few hours then that's on them, not you.

I went through the same thing myself, in the end i didn't invite either one...our wedding was no children allowed and if that's the way they wanted to act (which they did) then they can sit home with the rest of them.

It sounds cold i know, but it worked out better that way.