AAARGH. Why is getting married this hard?

[IsoNeko]

Tell them your getting married, and if they want to be there, to put on a happy face and STFU.

 

[pointsofprotest]

That sucks about the parents dude.
I am actually in a similar situation except my divorced parents don't have the I-want-to-kill-you-on-sight feelings. I think we solved the "divorced parents" and "family envy" problems as best we can by having a small wedding (23 people). I've explained to my parents that I want them both to be there and I don't want them fighting. I have also explained what could happen if they do start to fight. I told mine I would disown them and if one won't come neither are invited. Don't get me wrong, it would have broken my heart if my parents didn't come but guilt works on them.
Regardless of the reason why your parents got divorced they should be mature enough that they can put the past aside for one day, after all it's YOUR wedding day. Put them under a guilt trip or find some other way to push their buttons that will at least keep them in line for a few hours.
Or...
have two weddings.

Good Luck and I wish you and your fiance all the best.

 

[zacaron]

Honestly? Don't invite them.

It's your wedding day. If they go there and get into a fight, it'll ruin the occasion. It sucks, BIG TIME, but it's best to be sad about someone missing out then be pissed about there being a screaming match while your fiance walks down the aisle.

That's just my opinion, though... whatever you go with, good luck, and congradulations!

agreed just maybe have one side with a section reserved for your family that way It doesent stand out so much and just dont invite your parents.

 

[Schema]

My wedding was pretty similar OP. My advice? Invite them both but make it clear that if they can't remain civil on your damned wedding day they should both rack off. This is YOUR day, and don't let it get ruined by them. I got married with more friends than family on my side, but that's fine. The only person I really cared about being there was standing next to me.

Good luck, it's a hell of a ride.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Could be worse.

My dad is the only living person on his side of the family..

 

[Kogarian]

xxxxxxxxxxxxx_______xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Momxxxxxxx_______xxxxxxxxxxDad
xxxxxxxxxxxxx_______xxxx

Or, make it 'Sahara Desert Caravan' themed and have everyone dress up in full body covering.

 

[Theophenes]

I humbly suggest that you talk with each of them and apply "Intervention" style ultimatums.

1. I want both of you to be an active part of my life.
2. If you are incappable of behaving on this one special day than you can't be a part of my life.
3. You are both important to me, but I can't risk threatening my family's future because you two can't get along.
4. So choose: Bite your tongue and smile or be happy with watching grandchildren grow up via school pictures.

Just my humble advice.

I second the ultimatum method espoused here. But talk to them separately at first. It will make the situation more negotiable. Second, if she's inviting that much family, you can always invite co-workers and friends and such. That'll deal with the balance issues. Or just cram 'em in a small church so that seating is kind of all over the place. Worked for one of my friends' weddings.

 

[sumanoskae]

Have a talk with them and ask them nicely to come and explain that its really important to you if they still refuse well, im sorry but that would mean that their being selfish fucks and if so I wouldnt invite them anyway. Its you and your fianes day dont let your family issues screw it up

 

[13lackfriday]

Damn, I'm going to be facing this same problem in the future assuming I ever tie the knot, or even have a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex for that matter.

My solution: Elope to South America or some other exotic, far-off destination and have one of those extremely discreet and private weddings like celebrities do. Except without some dickweed tipping off the whole paparazzi to tag along and crash it.

I humbly suggest that you talk with each of them and apply "Intervention" style ultimatums.

1. I want both of you to be an active part of my life.
2. If you are incappable of behaving on this one special day than you can't be a part of my life.
3. You are both important to me, but I can't risk threatening my family's future because you two can't get along.
4. So choose: Bite your tongue and smile or be happy with watching grandchildren grow up via school pictures.

Just my humble advice.

Sage advice.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx_______xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Momxxxxxxx_______xxxxxxxxxxDad
xxxxxxxxxxxxx_______xxxx

Or, make it 'Sahara Desert Caravan' themed and have everyone dress up in full body covering.

My thoughts exactly...I mean the seating arrangement.
Though the themed wedding would put a creative spin to it...

 

[Bratzzzzzz]

I humbly suggest that you talk with each of them and apply "Intervention" style ultimatums.

1. I want both of you to be an active part of my life.
2. If you are incappable of behaving on this one special day than you can't be a part of my life.
3. You are both important to me, but I can't risk threatening my family's future because you two can't get along.
4. So choose: Bite your tongue and smile or be happy with watching grandchildren grow up via school pictures.

Just my humble advice.

I second the ultimatum method espoused here. But talk to them separately at first. It will make the situation more negotiable. Second, if she's inviting that much family, you can always invite co-workers and friends and such. That'll deal with the balance issues. Or just cram 'em in a small church so that seating is kind of all over the place. Worked for one of my friends' weddings.

Thank you, this seems like the most adult way to approach it. I'm still a little concerned with the amount of Backup her family has compared to mine

 

[Sewblon]

You don't have to invite your nuclear family, you could just invite people you like and trust to behave appropriately.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

ok tell them this

"if you both can't sit thru my wedding and dinner after without fighting then neither of you are invited because i don't want either one of you to ruin my wedding day"

so basically tell them that they can only come if they suck up their differences and behave or neither one is being invited

 

[New Troll]

My ex-wife and I had the exact same issue, but with her family. Basicly we just told her dad we wanted him to come but if he felt there would be a problem between him and her mom, then for our sake just don't show up. He didn't.

And to help balance out the family-sided issue, we just had our friends all sit on her side.

 

[Beacon]

Yea man, seriously.....

You should basically just say to them

"This is the most important day in my life, if you don't come and be civil, you'll never meet your grandchildren."

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Well you could do the sitcom way. Tell one that the other isn't coming to one and vice versa to the other. Wackiness will appear and you will all learn a heart felt lesson in the end.... Or the cops will be called.

Honestly I dont know. There your parents. just becuase they hate each other do you really belive they will miss there son's wedding.

 

[ae86gamer]

Get your parents really drunk. Thats the only way I think they can be in the same room.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Tell them your getting married, and if they want to come, to play nice or just not come

 

[Sparrow]

she let me play Icewind Dale 2 last night for 5 hours, whilst bringing me dinner e.c.t.

I'm sorry, I nearly passed out from the sheer epicness of that sentance.