Abominations of the food industry

[Queen Michael]

Found a cheddar dip once for tortillas. Smelled and tasted like plastic barf. Assuming it was some kind of American cheddar since it was the extremely orange kind. Actually, anything American is disgusting. Tried Mountain Dew after all the praise it gets from the internet and found it to be nothing but vitamin-C water and a shitload of sugar. Also tried some coke(strange brand) that must've been at least 60% sugar.

As for foods I like I'd say the Swedish kaviar pastry. It's liked by most Swedes, but the contents sound really foul: fish eggs, tomato paste, sugar and potato flakes. Can't think of anything better right now.

Spoiler

I'm Swedish, and in my opinion these things are "förbannat äckliga," which is Swedish for "something that is more appealing once it has left your bowels than before it entered your mouth."

 

[Barbas]

I don't know how Americans can justify it but CHEESE DOES NOT BELONG IN A CAN.

That is an abomination of all things cheddar!

They...put it...in a can...?

Spoiler: GOD DAMN IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!

 

[sweetylnumb]

Dislike:
Vanilla coke: whoever came up with this idea should be vivisected with a fondue fork. Yes, also if it happened to be a woman.
Dr. Pepper and Red Bull: both taste like some kind of prescription cough syrup to me, otherwise known as something I don't drink because I like it so much.

Like:
Bifi Roll, a jerky smoked little salami in a coat of white bread. Not strange, but just really stupid and plain food that I just can't get enough of.
Trappist-stewed pork with baked apple slices and pureed celery.
Beef in cacao/pepper- based mole sauce with mango salad.
Green olives with white chocolate.
Baked dried dates wrapped in Black Forest ham.

I'm sorry but vanilla coke is a buetiful thing. Making is so hard to come by is unforgivable. CHERRY COKE IS THE REAL VILLAIN.

Doctor pepper, is fucking demon piss, to my taste buds. I cannot possibly comprehend how much acid you need to drink before that shit tastes remotely good.


On the fence about red bull. Demon, my countries super sweet super fizzy alternative, is much better.

 

[Hero of Lime]

It's not really in the food industry, but I got to try some deep fried things at a county fair this past Summer. It was the first time I had the really deep fried kind of stuff, it didn't sit well with me. Sure, it tastes good when you eat it, but I felt sick the next morning and all day. Not enough to throw up, but I could tell my body was very angry at me. XD

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Do we actually have to have eaten them? Because stuff like fried Oreos should not exist!

EDIT: As for wied foods that are good, I'm gonna go with Nutella. Chocolate and hazlenut spread, 'tis food for the Gods I say!

 

[Blow_Pop]

Things that shouldn't have been made?
Most American beer aka piss water
Deep fried twinkies/chocolate bars
Milk chocolate which isn't really chocolate in the first place

I will never understand my fellow Americans with the love of deep frying everything....

My personal favourite is bacon wrapped asparagus grilled on a bbq grill

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I don't know how Americans can justify it but CHEESE DOES NOT BELONG IN A CAN.

That is an abomination of all things cheddar!

They...put it...in a can...?

Spoiler: GOD DAMN IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!

Indeed, this [http://www.cracked.com/funny-2765-7-reasons-easy-cheese-worse-you-than-cocaine/] really is real! [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easy_Cheese]

Spoiler: Behold!

 

[Blow_Pop]

I don't know how Americans can justify it but CHEESE DOES NOT BELONG IN A CAN.

That is an abomination of all things cheddar!

They...put it...in a can...?

Spoiler: GOD DAMN IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!

Indeed, this [http://www.cracked.com/funny-2765-7-reasons-easy-cheese-worse-you-than-cocaine/] really is real! [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easy_Cheese]

Spoiler: Behold!

I would guess the same reason we deep fry everything and our milk comes in cartons and jugs....because 'murica?

 

[Zef Otter]

I don't know how Americans can justify it but CHEESE DOES NOT BELONG IN A CAN.

That is an abomination of all things cheddar!

They...put it...in a can...?

Spoiler: GOD DAMN IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!

Indeed, this [http://www.cracked.com/funny-2765-7-reasons-easy-cheese-worse-you-than-cocaine/] really is real! [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easy_Cheese]

Spoiler: Behold!

I would guess the same reason we deep fry everything and our milk comes in cartons and jugs....because 'murica?

http://www.pleasanthillgrain.com/canned_cheese_red_feather_cheddar_cheese.aspx

Well America is not the only place to can cheese.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

MREs. For those of you who lack experience in US military bootcamp, these beauties are basically "meals" that are stored in bags, and pulled out when nutrition is needed away from the mess hall. No, they don't buy new ones. They just keep for months (at least), and need no preparation. Let me show you what they look like packaged, as well as the contents.

Spoiler

Seriously, unless you've had clam chowder served in MRE form, you don't know disgusting.

On the lighter side, syrup and scrambled eggs is so freaking good. Don't knock it until you try it. Also, deep-fried Twinkies. So unhealthy, so good.

 

[Jenvas1306]

To the horror of my boyfriend, I really enjoy teriyaki-style beef jerky. I love that stuff and will savor every last bit of it. My bf doesnt even like bacon btw...

I remembered another terrible food I came across during my school time. In germany we dont have a cafeteria at most school but lots have a little shop that offers different foods. at some point they started offering schokokuss im brötchen, which would be a marschmallow like sweet that is covered with chololate squashed in a bun. its not really aweful taste wise, its just a terrible thing to do to two perfectly fine foods.

Spoiler: usually its looking even more loveless

 

[Chemical Alia]

We have a snack food in Pennsylvania called Miller's Hot Bologna. It's long slices of bologna pickled in vinegar, with spices added, and usually comes in a gigantic jar. They actually promote "WITH VARIETY MEATS" right on the jar like it's a good thing. On the list of ingredients, you can find such delicacies as "beef and pork cheeks, beef hearts, pork hearts, and mechanically separated chicken."

When I was in grad school (in Texas), I ordered a jar of it and brought it into class, and everyone thought I was some kind of mad scientist from that point on. The only person who was even willing to try it was my Vietnamese friend, and he's eaten bird fetuses out of the eggs, so that doesn't really count. Also it probably causes butt cancer.

Here's a picture:

Spoiler

Basically, it's super delicious, and its off-putting looks and outright describing of what bologna actually is, is seen by me as a challenge so that only the virtuous may enjoy this treasure from my homeland.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

SNIP

That is the single most terrifying jar of edible substance that I've ever seen. I kind of want to try it.

 

[EOTD]

I was on the Isle of Bute in Scotland and while looking on a chip shop menu I came across something called "Crispy Pizza". Me, just innocently thinking it would be a thin crust pizza, ordered it without hesitation. Some time had passed and I saw someone behind the counter take out a massive piece of battered cod from the fryer. My mouth now salivating at this point, I could barely contain myself when I was asked if I wanted salt and vinegar. The horror soon took over me as I noticed that I was the only one ordering in the chip shop. What I thought was cod, was a battered deep fried pizza. I was only a few bites in when both my wife and my heart demanded I stop eating.

 

[Chemical Alia]

SNIP

That is the single most terrifying jar of edible substance that I've ever seen. I kind of want to try it.

Haha, yeah, its looks edon't do much for it. I even posted the most flattering picture I could find. Try this one:

Spoiler

It really is tasty, though. If you like pickled, spicy things.

 

[Generalissimo]

Good: most food you get from burger vans. Seriously, they sell easily the most unhealthy, greasy burgers, sausages and kebabs but they're delicious and keep you full for half the day with a decent portion.

Bad: deep fried gum balls. Went to a fairground once, and they were selling these. "What could possibly go wrong!?" I naively thought. It tasted like burning hot, sickly sweet glue which refused to shift from my mouth no matter how much I choked and spluttered and gagged. Alarm bells went off when when it blocked my trachea, and someone called an ambulance, I still have a scar from the tracheotomy they painfully performed on me. And on top of that, it took a dentist an hour to remove the gunge from my mouth and throat.

Wouldn't recommend.

Oh, and the guy who was selling them got fired. Yay, I guess.

 

[McMarbles]

I'm a month or so late for this but... what is with the compulsion to put pumpkin in EVERYTHING?

 

[Jenvas1306]

Good: most food you get from burger vans. Seriously, they sell easily the most unhealthy, greasy burgers, sausages and kebabs but they're delicious and keep you full for half the day with a decent portion.

Bad: deep fried gum balls. Went to a fairground once, and they were selling these. "What could possibly go wrong!?" I naively thought. It tasted like burning hot, sickly sweet glue which refused to shift from my mouth no matter how much I choked and spluttered and gagged. Alarm bells went off when when it blocked my trachea, and someone called an ambulance, I still have a scar from the tracheotomy they painfully performed on me. And on top of that, it took a dentist an hour to remove the gunge from my mouth and throat.

Wouldn't recommend.

Oh, and the guy who was selling them got fired. Yay, I guess.

wow...
It wasnt a contest, but with that story you won the thread, unless a more terrifying story comes up, which I doubt.

well I hope you recovered quickly from that and that you arent getting flash backs or somesuch

 

[Generalissimo]

Good: most food you get from burger vans. Seriously, they sell easily the most unhealthy, greasy burgers, sausages and kebabs but they're delicious and keep you full for half the day with a decent portion.

Bad: deep fried gum balls. Went to a fairground once, and they were selling these. "What could possibly go wrong!?" I naively thought. It tasted like burning hot, sickly sweet glue which refused to shift from my mouth no matter how much I choked and spluttered and gagged. Alarm bells went off when when it blocked my trachea, and someone called an ambulance, I still have a scar from the tracheotomy they painfully performed on me. And on top of that, it took a dentist an hour to remove the gunge from my mouth and throat.

Wouldn't recommend.

Oh, and the guy who was selling them got fired. Yay, I guess.

wow...
It wasnt a contest, but with that story you won the thread, unless a more terrifying story comes up, which I doubt.

well I hope you recovered quickly from that and that you arent getting flash backs or somesuch

well, it put me off anything deep fried for ages, and even now i'm wary of deep fried sweet thing (prevelant in scotland, apparently). and no, no PTSD, flashbacks or anything like it.

 

[Barbas]

Haha, yeah, its looks edon't do much for it. I even posted the most flattering picture I could find. Try this one:

Spoiler

It really is tasty, though. If you like pickled, spicy things.

Spoiler

Oh my...I live in the badlands of Scotland and the sight of that stuff still made me raise an eyebrow. Actually, now that I think about it, with my eating habits I may be speaking from a glass house.