Absolute Gaming Truths

[Nwabudike Morgan]

No guy can ever beat their girlfriend and Mario Kart. It's impossible. It's almost better to not try.

Everybody who has ever played The Sims has made their boss and put them in a room with no windows, no doors, and several ovens.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Shooting red barrels = explosion

 

[Deathkingo]

Finding food on the floor, where it is likely that hundreds have died, is completely safe to eat.

 

[RatRace123]

Being a hero means you're free to help yourself to whatever anyone has stored away in their locked chests.

 

[Scumpernickle]

Your sword will always be bigger than you are.

 

[Quel0]

health items always have a red cross on them... which is why i would develop mines with the same symbol if i became more sinister.

Endings are always disappointing.

If there's a console edit function, there's a cheat.

Red means Health, Blue means Mana (not magic,) Yellow means Stamina, Green means... ?? not sure

 

[FalloutJack]

You're not REALLY the only person who can stop [INSERT MENACE HERE]. Your fellow humans/patriots/resistence fighters/etc. are all just smarter than you and know not to stick their neck out.

 

[Sonofadiddly]

Long silver hair on a man in a JRPG = bad guy.

 

[Julianking93]

Stay away from people in all black clothing and spiky hair.

Oh wait, I do that anyway.

 

[the1ultimate]

Nothing good ever comes out of companies called Gentek.

If NPCs want to stay alive/hold onto their magical mcguffins, then they had better stick with the PC.

There is usually only one way to do things, and you had better hope that you can hop onto that particular logic train. Unless progression is only by way of following the linear corridor to the plot device.
-Most things can be solved with murder.

PCs are often fussy about how much of what particular items they will carry. Even so, they are perfect at hiding all the burden, at least until it breaks them.

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

If they have a British accent, they're evil. I don't care if they're helping you out. Just wait, they'll betray you.

 

[Profound]

In RPGs people will spout out random information about their lives without you saying anything to warrant it.

 

[Redem]

Compagnies are compose of the following departement

management: To decide what evil action to do

R&D: Will usually be compose two dozens people who graduated top of their classes from the best universities and discover how to break the law of physic weekly

Security compose of mooks, but also experimentation coming from R*D

 

[Dooblet]

It may take 5 or 6 shots to the chest to kill someone, but if you hit them with your gun they will die in 1 or 2 hits.

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

You will reload your savegame 36 times when fighting that really hard boss before you realize it was a fight that you're supposed to lose.

 

[Vrex360]

Women wearing practically no armor whatsoever and having watermelon sized breasts are in fact formiddable fighters not in the least bit hidered by their body shape or inadequete armor.

 

[spike0918]

If in a JRPG someone tells you not to do something than you must then do that.
If in a JRPG someone tells you to do something than you must then do that.

And the heroes of the world always start at level 1,3 or 5 with nothing but leather vests and wooden swords to go into battle with.

 

[moose49408]

If something seemed a little too easy...just wait for the transformation and for the second health meter to appear.

 

[klakkat]

If it's a boss and there isn't a health meter, shooting it isn't going to work. Drop a chandelier on it or something.

In a fantasy RPG (particularly MMOs) you will probably have to waste time slaughtering things even the dumbest townsfolk should be able to kill without any weapon at all, such as rats. Likewise, said enemy will not realize you're 100 times its size and will gleefully attack you.