Advice on letting a girl down easy?
- Thread starter SimuLord
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Technically saying "I've found someone special" wouldn't be lying and it would definitely be the better way to let her down gently.zombiesinc said:
Saying "I wouldn't ever want to date you" is pretty fucking harsh.
Dude, be cool. Just tell her the truth, but slip it in between and act as if you never noticed girl#1's attraction to you. Main thing is to tell her on the phone so you can hang up if her voice starts raping your ears. You also do NOT want to be in the range of a furious chick, I mean it's not a real danger by any means, but it's still not pleasant, especially when she starts flinging stuff at you. So beware.SimuLord said:
Why would she blow a gasket at you? I mean, I know why, but what business of her's is it who you date? My advice is to just go for Girl #2, and if Girl #1 gives you shit for it, just tell her how you feel and that it really isn't any of her business who you want to stick your pee pee into.
Surely anonymous advice gives you a fresh perspective on things no?ENKC said:
I don't know what else to say really, Being honest is the best policy, I had a friend in a similar situation and I tried to help her let a guy down gently but it went tits up fast and the two don't really speak anymore, but you'd probably be able to handle the situation better than she did. But odds are you're not going to be able to keep a friendship of any value after you let her down, however given time you may be able to build something resembling friendship back up.
Do it the way women do to men. Most women would understand it that way in theory. Friends ladder, stick girl#1 there till she boils in her own obsession. If she starts to want to climb out, then put her in her place by trying to avoid her till she gets the picture. Get frustrated abit, but do not confront her about it, be passive aggressive. Don't start the conversation, don't initiate anything for that matter. If she starts to create drama to get you involved, don't. Say you have to wash your hair or your pet's hair. Whatever. Eventually, it may end but if she wants more and you don't, it may have to end. Besides, even though it is rare, blue moon rare, giving a dose of their own medicine is gratifying.
Well here is the ugly truth, there is no real way of letting someone down easy, it's like jumping out of a plain or off a cliff, both methods will hurt you and make you feel like sh!t, but at least one is better than the other.
Personally I would suggest taking Girl 1 out to a nice, average afternoon tea (or what ever you call it) in a small diner, without a lot of people but still with some people, and let her off easy (Also the diner is so she can't make a fuss and start yelling at you
) do something like:
-Put your hand on her hand
-Talk to her calmly, not romantically
-Say something like "Girl 1, this is very hard for me to do, but, I think we should see other people, I'm deeply sorry"
-Walk away, don't let her follow
-If she keeps messaging you or E-mailing you about it tell her this isn't healthy and not to ruin the relationship.
Alas, as I said, there is no easy way to tell a girl. You will always feel like shit and so will she, but you can at least spare some of your feelings and hers if you do it in a more civilized and respectable manner.
Good luck
Personally I would suggest taking Girl 1 out to a nice, average afternoon tea (or what ever you call it) in a small diner, without a lot of people but still with some people, and let her off easy (Also the diner is so she can't make a fuss and start yelling at you
) do something like:-Put your hand on her hand
-Talk to her calmly, not romantically
-Say something like "Girl 1, this is very hard for me to do, but, I think we should see other people, I'm deeply sorry"
-Walk away, don't let her follow
-If she keeps messaging you or E-mailing you about it tell her this isn't healthy and not to ruin the relationship.
Alas, as I said, there is no easy way to tell a girl. You will always feel like shit and so will she, but you can at least spare some of your feelings and hers if you do it in a more civilized and respectable manner.
Good luck
I like a breakup to to be as memorable as it is devastating.
*I have absolutely no experience in this area, I just will never pass up a chance for a Futurama reference.
Just try being honest but polite.
*I have absolutely no experience in this area, I just will never pass up a chance for a Futurama reference.
Just try being honest but polite.
If you'd consider yourself friends with her then just pretend you haven't noticed those vibes she gives off and talk about how you might ask out Girl #2. Should make her get the message.
The reason I suggested saying that he doesn't wish to date, or ever sees himself wanting to date this girl is because he's made it very clear that he's not in the slightest attracted to them. Saying "I've met someone special" while being completely honest, leaves room for the idea that if Sim hadn't met this girl, there's still the possibility that he'd like girl #1, opposed to saying he's simply not interested in dating this girl. It leaves no room for confusion, which I feel is best in these types of situations. And as for lying, I was referring to the sister bit, not the "finding someone special" bit.CoffeeOfDoom said:
But this ultimately comes down to preference. Whether someone would prefer to let a girl down by telling them they've met someone else, or that they're simply not interested in this girl is up to them. So, best of luck Sim.
Just be honest with her and tell her that you aren't interested with her in that way. Don't beat arround the bush about it, just be up front. Don't tell her that you're not physically attracted to her cause that would hurt her pride. If she's any kind of friend, she'll respect that and let you pursue this other girl.
Be honest mate. You can be her friend, but seriously, just burn the romance bridge once and for all. If she's really your friend, then she won't stop you pursuing a relationship with someone else.
Don't let other people control your life. It's your life. Do what you want. If she can't deal with that, well, maybe she needs to wake up a little bit.
Don't let other people control your life. It's your life. Do what you want. If she can't deal with that, well, maybe she needs to wake up a little bit.
I actually got modhammered for that. I can see that it might be considered unhelpful, but had I elucidated further it would not have been hard to understand where I'm coming from. Bouncing ideas off strangers can be constructive, since bouncing ideas off anyone can be constructive. But as for acting on their advice, one would have to ask how much they really value those opinions.Captain Pancake said:
This being an internet forum, it would be easy to assume it is full of teenagers with limited experience of relationships. Unfortunately, a number of posts do nothing to counteract the stereotype. Moral of the story is seek as many opinions as you feel comfortable with, but ultimately a decision like this is yours and yours alone to make.
So good luck with that and remember that having a choice of lady friends is preferable to having no choice at all.
