Age gaps in relationships, how much is too much?

[Fightgarr]

I don't find an age gap like that particularly creepy, but I wouldn't find it particularly appealing either. People still in high school are just so... in high school. You can tell from their attitude, their spending habits, their priorities, even their conversations. It's not a bad thing, it's just not something I'd ever be interested in.

 

[blankedboy]

half+7 once you hit 14.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFNINJA

But yeah, that does get kinda inaccurate at times. I think it works, though.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.

provided it isn't breaking the law, I have two questions:

1-Has he done anything genuinely strange or threatening to this girl?

2-If he hasn't, how the hell is it your business?


People are weird. Get used to that; sometimes a genuine loving relationship will crop up in the weirdest of scenarios. If what he was doing was illegal, or if you suspected foul play, I'd like to think you would have involved the cops by now.

If however the age difference is the only genuine red flag, I suggest you keep it yourself and leave them be.

I don't know if they are having sex or not, but if they are, it is illegal as he is over 18. Its not so much things he has done with/to this girl, but more what I know of his last few relationships, he is incredibly immature.

And no, it's not my place to tell them what to do, which is why I keep it to myself, but it's still creepy to me.

fair enough, think its creepy all you like, its your right as a free thinker. I just do not understand you wishing to consult the internet on the subject.

 

[akfg666]

I'd say that at that age, it's a little bit weird. As mature as she may think she is, she can be in no way sure as to if she really wants a relationship at this time. Also yes the lack of maturity and graduation skill from the guy is worrying, perhaps if they were both very mature then it would be ok. But I still find it kinda creepy seeing substantially older guys going out with very young girls. There's a couple in my school where the guy is 19 and the girl is 14...now THAT'S creepy

 

[Cowabungaa]

Yeah that's pretty weird I'd say. I'm 20 and I can't imagine dating someone under 18. Around this age, a person still has to develop a whole damned lot. 3 Or 4 years can matter a lot. Once you're past that stage, and well into your 20's, such an age gap matters less and less. I could imagine dating a 20 year old when I'm 24, for instance.

 

[William Ossiss]

It's creepy.

Made worse by his apparent lack of graduating skills.

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

Honestly don't even see the appeal of such a thing. Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).

apparently that's what he loves about high school girls. he keeps getting older while they stay the same age...

OT: id rather date someone my own age. in fact, my girlfriend is only 13 days younger than me.

 

[gussy1z]

why is there no formula to express this... how about.. square route of age?

 

[njsykora]

Surprised no-one had posted this yet. Outside of that though think of the gap rather than the ages. Its just a 4 year gap, nothing too difficult.

 

[Sunrider]

A 20-year-old dating a 16-year-old is creepy? I guess I was a creep when I met my ex then. Funny, no one I know said anything about that, and her mom was totally okay with it, seeing as she thought I treated her daughter in a good way.

All this time and I never knew...

 

[standokan]

Yeah, it's pretty creapy alright but it's like, not your business, if they're both okay with it then it's okay.

 

[Radelaide]

I'm 20 (turning 21 this year), my boyfriend is 24 (turning 25 this year) and we're okay with that. So are my parents and my friends. Here's some context though: His brother is 20 (turned 20 this year) and his ex was 16 (turned 16 this year) which, IMO is a little weird. YES SHE IS THE LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT but jeez.

 

[Always_Remain]

I don't really care about other people and their age differences. I'm not into getting intimate with others but if I was, I wouldn't mind dating a girl a bit younger then me. Maybe a year or two. (I'm 17 for the record)

 

[Agayek]

There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.

Standard rule of thumb is age/2 + 7 for the minimum "creepy" relationship.

That said, the specific instance you mention is mildly creepy. And illegal. If she's comfortable with it, it's nobody else's business, but I personally find the thought of 18+ dating high schoolers to be over the line.

 

[Yureina]

Arbitrary rules mean nothing to me. I think that if people love eachother, then let it happen. That is not an endorsement of underage sex, but rather that there should not be some "rule" that dictates who I can't and cannot be with. I don't ever accept such things.

 

[WolfThomas]

>18 and capable of giving informed consent, is all that's important, honestly. Some stuff may seem strange, but hey who am I to judge?

 

[Julianking93]

Does it really matter? If two people love one another, then age shouldn't matter.
Sure, when a 90 year old is dating a teen, there's obviously something more to that but if it's, say, a 17 year old to a 19 year old, or even someone in their teens dating another in their 20s.
If they love each other, it shouldn't matter.
Of course, that's not to endorse paedophillia, by any means but when two consenting and mature people are in love, who cares about age?

 

[Voration]

Yes it definitely seems a little wrong, but if it all works out for the next few years, it won't seem bad when an 18 year old is with a 22 year old and so on.

Once you're of an adult age, its more personal choice than anything. Personally I've gone out with someone just over double my age, and the biggest issue was that we had completely different priorities in life, I wanted to enjoy my youth while my partner wanted to settle down.

It didn't work out

So from personal experience, I think anything more than a ten year age gap is pushing it, not from 'wrongness' but from the difference in values and priorities in life at different ages.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Like the guy with the comic strip says its: Age/2 +7 thats the lowest age you can date without being creepy.

I was 24 ish in my old wow guild and there was a 16 year old who said he was in love with me. I just thought it was cute. Waaaaaay too young lol. Maybe its different for guys.