AHRG! Woman issue.

[Guy from the 80's]

AHHHHG!

Ok,so I'm pretty sure me and my hairdresser has a mutual attraction. Whenever I get my hair cut she touches me a lot(as in more than other hairdressers and NO I'm not a virgin but I have been single for a LONG time), and last time she didn't use one of those brushes to clear away cut hair from my neck....she blew it away with her breath. She also rested her hands on my shoulders for quite some time. She also told me about this online dating service where people had found spouses.

We have also talked about personal stuff. We are both single (yes she has told me shes single) and she has asked me lots of what I would call personal questions. Why are you single, when you go out where do you go to etc etc. The last time I was there, she gave me a goodbye pat on the stomach telling me not to be so picky so that I could get a girlfriend.

Soooooooo, I really like this woman. And I get the impression she likes me. And I know her first name, but since I didn't know her second name I just goggled her employer and her first name and I got her last name (TOTALLY CREEPY I KNOW!) and thus her Facebook.

So, would I be a stalker freak if I sent her a message on Facebook?

FEMALE advice appreciated.
(god damnit!)

 

[Doclector]

She'll probably figure out that you searched up everything to find her on facebook, and she'd probably find that creepy. That said, I have no idea what else you should do, but probably not that.

I'm male by the way, but felt you should know anyway.

 

[Phasmal]

It would be a bit creepy, yeah.
Why not just ask her next time you see her?

Something like `I enjoy talking to you- how bout you add me on facebook or I add you?`
That way from her response you will be able to see whether or not you are barking up the wrong tree.

Female here.

 

[Guy from the 80's]

It would be a bit creepy, yeah.
Why not just ask her next time you see her?

Something like `I enjoy talking to you- how bout you add me on facebook or I add you?`
That way from her response you will be able to see whether or not you are barking up the wrong tree.

Female here.

Gah as I thought. well its not that bad, even though I'm blushing right now. I guess my biggest fear is that it will not turn out for the best and that I have to find a new saloon.


edit : THANKS for the replies

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

Another female here, and I'm with the others--the next time you see her, talk about Facebook and ask if you can add her. Then go from there Try to keep the biggest conversations face-to-face (like when you ask her out for real), most women don't appreciate being asked out online. But it would be a good and convenient way to arrange a meeting so you can say that Good luck!

 

[thebakedpotato]

Message on facebook?
Fuck no dude... repeat after me:
"I really enjoy talking with you. Would you mind going out for a drink together sometime?"
Nip it in the bud right now... Don't pussyfoot around with that stuff.

Friendly, to the point. She's able to say either way and still be professional.
If she says no... She says no. If she says yes, she says yes. Women are people too. Not a rubick's cube.

 

[Guy from the 80's]

Oh you women and your kind replies
(thank you very much I now know what I must do....and not to do)

 

[science girl]

It would be a bit creepy, yeah.
Why not just ask her next time you see her?

Something like `I enjoy talking to you- how bout you add me on facebook or I add you?`
That way from her response you will be able to see whether or not you are barking up the wrong tree.

Female here.

Gah as I thought. well its not that bad, even though I'm blushing right now. I guess my biggest fear is that it will not turn out for the best and that I have to find a new saloon.


edit : THANKS for the replies

This is the best approach, coming from a girl anyway.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Just remember things could get awkward if she doesn't share your feelings. She might just be a very close and personal person to everyone. I'm not saying don't go for it, but just make sure you're prepared for the consequences if it doesn't work out.

 

[Rylot]

Just remember things could get awkward if she doesn't share your feelings. She might just be a very close and personal person to everyone. I'm not saying don't go for it, but just make sure you're prepared for the consequences if it doesn't work out.

From my own experiences asking another adult whom you're closer than acquaintances with isn't usually that bad. If she says 'no' that means she just wants to be friends. Asking out total strangers is when it can get weird. This is coming from a guy who hit on a married chick! (What? I didn't know, and in my defense she fed me at our two person study groups)

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Just remember things could get awkward if she doesn't share your feelings. She might just be a very close and personal person to everyone. I'm not saying don't go for it, but just make sure you're prepared for the consequences if it doesn't work out.

From my own experiences asking another adult whom you're closer than acquaintances with isn't usually that bad. If she says 'no' that means she just wants to be friends. Asking out total strangers is when it can get weird. This is coming from a guy who hit on a married chick! (What? I didn't know, and in my defense she fed me at our two person study groups)

Of course, every situation is different. All I'm saying is he should consider what might happen if he chooses to go through with it. This person is someone he sees on a regular basis (she is his hairdresser), and things may become uncomfortable if she does not return his feelings. She may not realize what she is doing is giving him the impression she is into him.

As I said before, I am not telling him not to go through with it; just to be prepared in case things turn uncomfortable.

 

[Rylot]

snip

I'm not dissagreeing with you; everyone and every situation is different, but as long as OP's casual enough about it she'd be able to turn him down with no hurt feelings. Now if he comes in with balloons and chocolates and roses and elephants, that might make things a little awkward. But a: "Hey what're you doing thursday, wanna grab some drinks?" will be casual enough for her to respond with a "Nahh, I'm not really supposed to see clients outside of work, it's not professional" and the relationship can continue as it has. But I do see your point of there always being the possibility of things getting uncomfortable, but they both should be adult enough and professional enough to not let that happen.

 

[Guy from the 80's]

Good replies! I'm not going to come in with balloons and chocolates and the very idea of it makes me blush because if I were 18 then that's probably what I would do. Yeah my social antennas are ok I guess its just that I have been single for such a long time that for me this is a leap of faith type of moment. I just don't want to fall down and break every bone in my body.....well ok it wouldn't be that bad but my ego would call me an idiot and tell me to not do it again.

Yeah the next time I see her I'm just going to throw some stuff out there and see how she reacts to it.

From the bottom of my heart ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much.












The worst part is that I asked my older sister on Facebook. She hasn't read the message yet and I dread the moment she reads it and thinks "omg my brother is probably creepy". I did add "NO WORRIES I GOT A PROPER ANSWER" to the conversation but the damage is still done.

 

[Mavriked]

In your situation I think the direct approach would be best. Girls appreciate it when you know what you want and are straight forward about it. I like thebakedpotato's advice on this and fully agree with it.

 

[Jonluw]

I'm pretty sure it would be rather creepy to send her a message on facebook, yes.

To me, the reasonable thing to do seems to be to drop by the hairdresser and ask her if she wants to go out for a cup of coffee or something after her shift is over (sometime. Don't press it by making it seem like you need to go out with her that exact day).

 

[Galletea]

Be casual about it next time you see her. Most people have a facebook, just ask her if she's on there and give her your second name. If she's interested she'll pursue you. That way you'll know if she's in the least bit interested or not. If she says she's not on there, or doesn't bother adding you, then you'll know for sure. It's much easier than fretting about the stalkerness about well...stalking her on the interwebs.

 

[Alternative]

my 2 cents

after the next time you get your hair cut when you are about to leave just ask her if she wants to go out sometime.
either she says yes and its awesome
or she says no and you sty where you are at the moment

 

[Guy from the 80's]

the 11th....crunch time. Will ask out. Either awesomeness or bitcing about it on the internets.

 

[applesandoranges]

edit

 

[Silverfox99]

My advice - Don't wait until your next hair cut. Go in during a slow time and ask to talk to her and ask her out. Trust your instincts. No Facebook. If you think it could be creepy it probably is. Not because it is creepy, but because you will make it creepy by thinking it could be creepy.