Aliens Have Conquered Earth

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Reiper

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Mar 26, 2009
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So Aliens have attacked and in short time conquered the Earth for its resources. Our armies have been destroyed, and our population is being exterminated. You are one of the few remaining humans sitting in a Nuclear CIC with access to all of the USA's atomic arsenal.

What do you do? Would you glass the earth and take an "If we can't have it, no one can" stance?
 

Hazy992

Why does this place still exist
Aug 1, 2010
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Why isn't 'attack the aliens with the nukes' an option?
 

Hal10k

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May 23, 2011
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If Hollywood blockbusters have taught me anything, which they haven't, it's that the only worthwhile solution to this problem is to utilize some gross misapplication of computer science to destroy the alien battleships with the aid of my street-wise wisecracking sidekick.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
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Take trench coat. Take katana. Ride grizzly bear. Save Earth.
 

Rowan93

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Aug 25, 2011
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What the hell resources are they looking for on this stupid gravity well?

Anything worth getting is worth getting for about one millionth of the effort out in the asteroid belt. Or on any of the various moons of the solar system where the gravity is less. Even assuming the Earth is uninhabited - which as far as interstellar travellers are concerned, it may as well be unless they decide they care - it's a really dumb place to mine from.

Meat? Build space habitats using your asteroid resources. You can now grow whatever herd animals you like in much greater abundance than if you wasted your time with a planet, which is the worst habitat design possible.

God damn it I hate planets. Earth is fine for now but only because there aren't any other options. I offer whatever Quisling-type services I can if it will get me into a nice, efficient O'neill cylinder
 

Thaluikhain

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Jan 16, 2010
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It should be pointed out that the US does not have a nuclear arsenal capable of destroying even our species, let alone all life on Earth. Even the combined nuclear arsenals of the entire world aren't enough to wipe everyone out, humanity would survive. Fallout is extremely nasty, but it's not planet killing (at least not the amount humanity is currently able to produce). An interesting thing I read in a US nuclear survival thing, the amount of cancer caused by a nuclear exchange between the US and USSR in the 80s would be less than the amount of cancer prevented if wearing hats outdoors became a worldwide fashion.

Now, the death toll would be appalling, you'd fuck civilisation right up for a few centuries and all. That's what they mean by "end of the world", it really needs "as we know it" unless you are being pedantic.

In my experience, the effects of nuclear war are exagerated, possibly to change people's attitudes against it...presumably there are those who don't find massive death tolls, loss of infrastructure and governmental collapse to be scary enough.

On the other hand, the common or garden problems are overlooked, they don't seem exciting an nuclear enough. Lots of people will be horribly maimed by flying glass, and the medical facilities left intact will be swamped. You'll lose power and running water, you've got cities full of decaying corpses, your transport system is wrecked etc.

...

But, if you had a planet killing thingy to use, or not use...dunno. One of the things a UK PM did/does when they enter office is give sealed instructions to submarine captains to be opened in the event of a nuclear war with the USSR (possibly they still do for Russia nowdays), whether they should launch their missiles in retaliation or not. That's one hell of a decisions to make.

...

Actually, given that this question (or something very much liked it) was such a big deal for UK PMs, this is one of the more interesting (and unlikely to end in a shitstorm) questions I've seen asked here.
 

Popadoo

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May 17, 2010
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They are?
I AM?!
WHY HAVE I ONLY FOUND OUT NOW?!!
OT: I'd go with a similar answer to DoPo. Either way I'm going to die, so I might as well go out in style. Cowboy hat, duster coat, and then ride a nuke dropped onto an alien ship.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
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Popadoo said:
OT: I'd go with a similar answer to DoPo. Either way I'm going to die, so I might as well go out in style. Cowboy hat, duster coat, and then ride a nuke dropped onto an alien ship.
Don't forget the lasso. You need a lasso if you're doing that. If you don't get the lasso, I'll sick my grizzly bear at you.
 

Popadoo

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May 17, 2010
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DoPo said:
Popadoo said:
OT: I'd go with a similar answer to DoPo. Either way I'm going to die, so I might as well go out in style. Cowboy hat, duster coat, and then ride a nuke dropped onto an alien ship.
Don't forget the lasso. You need a lasso if you're doing that. If you don't get the lasso, I'll sick my grizzly bear at you.
But it wouldn't achieve anything. Surely waving my hat around and firing random revolver shots into the air would be more effective, the loud noises might strike fear into the hearts of the aliens.
 

DoPo

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Jan 30, 2012
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Not as awesome as waving a lasso, but it can work. I won't be sending my bear after you. Her name is Santa, by the way. So, here's the plan - I ride Santa into battle, while you provide the fireworks.
 

MammothBlade

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Oct 12, 2011
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I'd try to wipe out the aliens without rendering the Earth uninhabitable. I thought about negotiating, but they probably have a contingency plan to attack the Earth from orbit if they're forced to retreat. It's a last chance, it has to be a flawless, merciless victory over the extraterrestrial invaders.
 

Popadoo

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May 17, 2010
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DoPo said:
Not as awesome as waving a lasso, but it can work. I won't be sending my bear after you. Her name is Santa, by the way. So, here's the plan - I ride Santa into battle, while you provide the fireworks.
Sounds like a plan. It will be GLORIOUS!
 

Dags90

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Oct 27, 2009
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What if they want subterranean resources? You'd just be making a few craters. Big deal.
 

Esotera

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May 5, 2011
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Probably, as humanity would survive (even after a massive beating) and the aliens would hopefully back off. Depends on how hard it was to fire all the nukes though, preferably there'd be some nice big red button to press, which unleashed several thousand untold horrors upon whoever pressed it. Sort of like this one

Free apocalypse ==============>
 

Dectomax

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Jun 17, 2010
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Pray to god we have some mega-awesome alien friends who can make us into super-fighting machines based upon Wolves, Cats and Bears and then fight a long and costly war of resistance?
 

Da Orky Man

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Apr 24, 2011
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Rowan93 said:
What the hell resources are they looking for on this stupid gravity well?

Anything worth getting is worth getting for about one millionth of the effort out in the asteroid belt. Or on any of the various moons of the solar system where the gravity is less. Even assuming the Earth is uninhabited - which as far as interstellar travellers are concerned, it may as well be unless they decide they care - it's a really dumb place to mine from.

Meat? Build space habitats using your asteroid resources. You can now grow whatever herd animals you like in much greater abundance than if you wasted your time with a planet, which is the worst habitat design possible.

God damn it I hate planets. Earth is fine for now but only because there aren't any other options. I offer whatever Quisling-type services I can if it will get me into a nice, efficient O'neill cylinder
Possibly trying to wipe us out before we wipe them out? You know, the whole prisoner's conundrum thing, but in SPAAAAAAAACE.

Oooh, and one benefit of a planet, at least garden worlds, is that it's possible to become fully self-sufficient. Any orbital habitat will always need resupplying at some point, whereas a planet could go on until the sun goes supernova.
So in the case of massive tech-degradation, the whole returning to the middle-ages situation which comes up in sci-fi a fair bit, anyone in a habitat will die, whereas those on planets won't.
 

Haagrum

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May 3, 2010
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Esotera said:
Probably, as humanity would survive (even after a massive beating) and the aliens would hopefully back off. Depends on how hard it was to fire all the nukes though, preferably there'd be some nice big red button to press, which unleashed several thousand untold horrors upon whoever pressed it. Sort of like this one

Free apocalypse ==============>
Must resist... ooh, shiny!

See if it's possible to use as a bargaining chip. Like the Osterhagen Key from Doctor Who, I suppose.

If no-one wants to negotiate, though... well, I hope they brought their crash helmets.