almost empty (mostly a rant...)

[idodo35]

so there have been something eating at me for a while that i couldnt tell anyone hopefully this will help me get it off my chest...
so im not really a peoples person if you met me and tried to be nice you would have probably think im a duche and cold
there are exactly 2 people who are not part of my familly who i care for my (rather new but ill get to that later) girlfriend and an old friend the rest of the people i meet daily (at school) are distractions from my bad day at best and untolaratable at worst (mostly depends on my mood) lately my girlfriend said she feels to tied in the relationship (there probably a better word for it...) she said it for a long time and said that its mostly just a feeling without any apperant reason... i have tried everything to make her feel better about this (were not even officialy together but thats mostly a status quo thing...) with that note i have a bad feeling that we might break up any day now... i really love and care for her (and she said that she loves me as well...) so that got me thinking...
the more i thought about my life i saw its practicly empty just two actual friends one of whom is depressed 90% of the time (not the girlfriend) and one that might dissapere from my life any day now, im not doing anything creative or anything (used to phtograph but i got tired of it) with only 2 reall hobbys (gaming and comic book reading/collecting) it just seemed that my life is quite empty...
idk i know this is a rather stupid thing to rant about and that my life isnt all that bad and my trouble are so small in comperismant...
just wanted to rant to someone...
thank you for listening!

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Sounds like a depression, chum. Get thyself to your doctor and have a discussion about it. Also go through the usual checklist as to whether you're eating right, sleeping enough, and getting exercise.

As for the girlfriend, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but yeah...you are getting warning shots fired across your bow. If you don't want to lose the relationship, you're going to need to get to the bottom of whatever the problems are and see if they're fixable.

 

[idodo35]

snip

well dipression is very much a possibillity ive been rather depressed for a large portion of this and last year...
also the warning shots are very much a logical explanation problem is that she said these things from preaty much day 1 she has some bad past expiriance with relationship so it might not be a problem i can fix :/

 

[OldRat]

It really sucks when you feel you're doing everything you can for a relationship and things just aren't in your hands, doesn't it? Sadly, and I really don't mean to disrespect you in any way, that's one of those things that just happens from time to time. I don't know your exact age, I think I get the general age group. High school or so? College maybe? Thing is, many people at that age really struggle with coming into terms with relationships. Commitment can feel really scary, and there's sadly not a whole lot you can do if a person simply feels he or she's not ready for it yet and can't really settle down into a relationship. If you're ready to commit to a relationship, then hats off to you, you're up to a great start. However, you have to understand that everybody might not feel like you do, as much as that hurts. You can do your best to make it feel like a good thing, and I believe you're really trying there. It sucks, but sometimes that just isn't enough. And if you actually feel like the problems are out of your reach, and acknowledge she's had some bad experiences in the past that probably contribute, it can be easiest for everybody not to agonize over it too much.
The important thing is not to blame anyone for it. These things happen, and it takes a lot of stumbling to really find that one that works real well. It feels really unfair, believe me, but as cliche as that sounds, life goes on and there will be new opportunities. And you might not believe that, but even just admitting it's not working out and letting go is a lot better than the stressful of an unsure, rickety relationship that might topple at any moment. I won't be giving you any of that "chin up and clench your teeth!" motivation, since I know it just hurts at that point. But just you know, things will get better in the end.

Now, as for your other stuff, you should really consider getting some help. If you feel like it at all, don't wait until it gets bad, just go talk to someone. Your school nurse is a good place to start. Believe me, you don't want to wait until it really gets bad. Hell, I know I wouldn't have if I just knew what it'd do to me. No shame in asking for help when you're down, that's the mark of a strong person. A strong person allows himself to have his weak moments and comes out better for it. And believe me, if it makes your life difficult, it ain't small or inconsequential in comparison to anything. You're allowed to get help when you feel like you need it, and there's actual, professional people out there just because of that. Just simply talking to someone can really, really help. If you haven't had professional help before, it might feel like a bad thing at first, but trust me, it really helps you. Especially when you feel like a hundred things are weighting down on your mind and nothing has a point any more.

So in short, even if it feels bad, know that the end of a relationship isn't the end of the world, and that your problems are never too small to be heard. Hell, you might end up like me otherwise, and you don't want that.
Other than that, I hope you all the best and that everything goes well for you. I honestly do, it's never good to see somebody having problems.

 

[idodo35]

snip

while that makes sense it doesnt really help :/ also if they were mood swings that would be ok im like this a 100% of the time :/

snip

yea it sucks... btw im 16
also ive been to a psychologist for preaty much my whole life (my mother is a psychologist so she sent me to a psychologist from around the age of 4) until a few months ago when i just felt it doesnt help me anymore and is just a waste of my time and money... so i quit... things havent gotten worse since then but they didnt get any better...
and the problem with sharing it with my friends is that im preaty sure that saying "yea i feel my life are quite empty and i cant stand any of you" wont really solve anything...