Alone in the Dark II

[CuddlyCombine]

Yes, Edward Carnby is coming back again!

Uwe Boll seems to have this strange knack for channeling Satan when it comes to making horrible movies, as does whatever studio is funding him.

I'm sure some of you saw the first Alone in the Dark, and how you still remember the pain you suffered as your brain folded out of your left ear. Well, they're making a sequel.

That's all I have to say, really. I'm dumbstruck by the fact that somebody would even suggest doing a sequel to that godawful mess.

 

[Cliff_m85]

Uwe Boll is a bad director, but his films have a very underlining streak of comedy to them. I would do the intelligent thing if I were Uwe Boll and hire former MST3K cast members to MiSTy the film as an add on to the dvd release.


Good idea or great idea?

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Studios don't fund Uwe. Something to do with taxes or something like that, fund him actually. I thankfully, have never watched Alone in the Dark. I can say I'll skip on this as well! Phew.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Studios don't fund Uwe. Something to do with taxes or something like that, fund him actually. I thankfully, have never watched Alone in the Dark. I can say I'll skip on this as well! Phew.

He's independantly funded and he also funds himself. In germany if you fund a movie it is a tax write off and you get reimbursed. It's a loophole that helps him make movies.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Studios don't fund Uwe. Something to do with taxes or something like that, fund him actually. I thankfully, have never watched Alone in the Dark. I can say I'll skip on this as well! Phew.

He's independantly funded and he also funds himself. In germany if you fund a movie it is a tax write off and you get reimbursed. It's a loophole that helps him make movies.

Ah yes, thats what it was. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[Meado]

Studios don't fund Uwe. Something to do with taxes or something like that, fund him actually. I thankfully, have never watched Alone in the Dark. I can say I'll skip on this as well! Phew.

He's independantly funded and he also funds himself. In germany if you fund a movie it is a tax write off and you get reimbursed. It's a loophole that helps him make movies.

Ah yes, thats what it was. Thanks for the clarification.

That is the worst use of public funds I have ever heard of.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Studios don't fund Uwe. Something to do with taxes or something like that, fund him actually. I thankfully, have never watched Alone in the Dark. I can say I'll skip on this as well! Phew.

He's independantly funded and he also funds himself. In germany if you fund a movie it is a tax write off and you get reimbursed. It's a loophole that helps him make movies.

Ah yes, thats what it was. Thanks for the clarification.

That is the worst use of public funds I have ever heard of.

So is Social Security, but hey, someones gotta make movies!

 

[Duraji]

www.rifftrax.com

I'm sure they'll already be on it.

 

[Mr_Cynical]

As much as I truly hate his films, I gotta say, I have a lot of respect for Uwe Boll...

He knows that the majority of the world, especially the gaming community, outright despise his films, yet he continues to make them.

His "fuck you" attitude towards naysayers just makes me laugh and the fact that he called out that guy from somethingawful.com and proceeded to knock seven shades of shit leads me to think he loves what he does and will defend it to the hilt.

In short, Uwe Boll's a dick who rapes game ip's, but he's a dick that at least has the balls to stick to his principles, when all the world is telling him he's shit...

 

[DeleteMe1112311]

I'm sure I'm not the only one asking

How does this keep happening!?!

 

[incubus42]

I would propose that we all put a little bit of money together together and send it to Uwe Boll, so that he can buy himself a gun and one bullet...

 

[sky14kemea]

i saw his Silent Hill movie...

oh dear XD

I would propose that we all put a little bit of money together together and send it to Uwe Boll, so that he can buy himself a gun and one bullet...

if this happens, can i use Paypal? XD

 

[Iron Criterion]

There is no God

I now lost my faith in Humanity

 

[Trivun]

I just had a thought. Maybe Uwe Boll should focus only on Comedy from now on. With how appalling his films are, if he switched to comedy then we'd be justified in laughing at him and so he would finally be a success. Or he'd be just as crap. Either way, it could work...

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

i saw his Silent Hill movie...

oh dear XD

I would propose that we all put a little bit of money together together and send it to Uwe Boll, so that he can buy himself a gun and one bullet...

if this happens, can i use Paypal? XD

Wait what? Uwe Boll didnt make the Silent Hill film.

And Silent Hill was kickass. Wasn't Shakespearian, but was worth a watch nonetheless.

 

[PAGEToap44]

I really don't want this game. Is there a veto option for it not to be made?

 

[Skeleon]

He knows that the majority of the world, especially the gaming community, outright despise his films, yet he continues to make them.

Evil can never be truly defeated.

 

[Anachronism]

Everyone who reads this, get everyone you know to sign the "Stop Uwe Boll" petition. He's promised that if it gets a million signatures he'll never make another film.

Quickly, before it's too late! The world cannot take another Alone in the Dark film!
http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

 

[Kpt._Rob]

i saw his Silent Hill movie...

Silent Hill was directed by Christophe Gans and was actually GOOD, a word no one who was involved with the production of Alone in the Dark had ever even heard. See, I'm one of the few people who don't really care if a game's original content is messed with for the movie, as long as you make something decent out of it, it's good by me. I loved Silent Hill, the aesthetic was great, and it's actually one of the deepest modern movies in terms of content. And though I don't have quite as many nice things to say about the Resident Evil trilogy, I still enjoyed it, and the fact that it has the only strong female character in a film series who comes anywhere close to being as strong as the Alien Quadrilogy's Ellen Ripley is a big plus in my book. Hell, I even liked parts of Doom, even though I'll happily admit it was a crappy movie.

But Alone in the Dark was an awful movie... like horribly awful. It's on any number of "worst movie ever" lists, which should be a hint to Uwe, but I guess he's the modern Ed Wood so he's going to go ahead and make a shitty movie anyways. Except, he's actually worse than Ed Wood, Ed Wood's movies were so bad that you laughed hysterically at the special fx flying saucer with the string coming out the top the entire time, Boll's movie didn't even have that quality. All it had was something so horrible, so putrid, that I couldn't even enjoy watching it from a comedy standpoint. Uwe, if you're reading this, then take Alone in the Dark II, and please, for the sake of humanity, shove it right back up whichever dark orifice of yours it came out of... do not subject us to that kind of torment.