Alright (insert game here), how the FUCK was I supposed to know that?!

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RJ 17

The Sound of Silence
Nov 27, 2011
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Egoraptor has a great video that I can only assume the majority of us have already seen, it's the video talking about Mega Man X and all the awesomeness that can be found within it. One of the major points he touches on is that there's no annoying tutorial interruptions like "MEGA MAN! MEGA MAN! THAT'S HOT LAVA! DON'T TOUCH IT OR YOU'LL DIE!!!" and such game interruptions are absolutely stupid because, for the most part, things should be common sense. Lava = bad. Spikes = bad. Bottomless Pit = bad.

I say "for the most part" because I've noticed a few points in games where a bit of guidance certainly wouldn't hurt. Here's an example, reaching back to a classic: Sonic 3

Carnival Night Act 2. Towards the end of the stage (I'd roughly guess about 2/3rds of the way through it) you run into a small chamber and get locked inside. There's a big red spinning cylinder that goes up and down when you jump on it and it's plugging the shaft that you need to fall through to proceed through the level. Now, if you time your jumps right, you can use the thing as a launcher for a really big jump, or if you time it right you can knock it further and further down the shaft. Common sense would lead you to believe that you have to time your jumps perfectly in order to push the cylinder down far enough that you can jump off it and proceed...problem is, it's impossible to get the cylinder down far enough. Were it not for having a turbo controller and the bubble shield, I would never have beaten Sonic 3 as a kid. What I did was use the turbo controller to turbo-bubble bounce and glitch my way through the cylinder. This had a 50-50 shot of working, as it'd either pop you out underneath the cylinder or spit you into an inaccessible/inescapable room within the wall of the stage.

It wasn't until YEARS later when I picked up a collection of Sonic games (Sonic 1 through Sonic and Knuckles) for my computer that I decided "Screw this, there HAS to be a way to get past this part without glitching." So I check gamefaqs and it says quite simply "Get on the cylinder and start pressing up and down until it moves enough that you can jump off it." Indeed, it turns out the cylinder can be quite easily controlled by simply jumping on it and pressing up and down at the right time to send it flying up and down, making getting past that part easy as hell.

Now, it's quite possible that I'm fucking retarded in this case for not knowing that, but there certainly wasn't any indication that those cylinders could be moved in any way other than jumping on them.

But how about you, my fellow Escapists? What parts of games have had rather simple solutions, but due to a game mechanic that was in no way explained to you, you found yourself saying "How the FUCK was I supposed to know to do that" to the game?
 

hazabaza1

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This video?

Anyway, more on topic, I remember playing Dark messiah, and you got this bow that shot out ropes that you could climb. It had a bad habit of having you use it once then leave it for 2 or 3 hours and then make you need to use it again. Kinda sucked.
 

NerfedFalcon

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I had no idea, the first dozen or so times I played Hitogata Happa, that you were supposed to crash yourself into enemies to bomb them.

Then I found out there was a manual. And that it's actually not as uncommon a danmaku mechanic as you'd think.

...Still have yet to beat the very first boss, though.
 

Leemaster777

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I think your Sonic 3 example is a good one. And no, you're not the only one who got held up at that point. Me, and all my friends, always had trouble with it too.

Well, I could spout the names of several different adventure games and call it a day (Riven, in particular, jumps out at me), but I've got another good one.

In one of the X-Men games for the Genesis (I forget exactly which one it is at the moment), when you get to the end of the game, you basically reach a dead end, with no way to proceed. The solution? Hit the reset button on your console. THAT will take you to the final screen.

What in the flying name of FUCK would lead you be believe that would work?
 

Melon Hunter

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Phantom Hourglass. At some point in the Temple of the Ocean King, you come across one of the four maps you need to proceed in the game. Thing is, the map's mounted on the wall, upside down and mirrored. I tried everything to get it; frantically tapping it all over with the stylus, tapping every button combination, using all my items on the map. Nothing worked.

It wasn't until I'd shut my DS in exasperation to put it into sleep mode and gone and done something else that I solved the puzzle. Yes, that's right; you had to 'stamp' the map onto your own map by closing and opening the DS. What.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
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(for the third time) Spells of Gold

To get spells, you need to go to a temple and press Tab. No, there is absolutely no other indication, nor any alternative way, like, say, a button on the screen that says "Spells". Also, it's either not mentioned in the manual (I'm pretty sure of that) or at least it's not mentioned at a convenient location. It's certainly not in the "magic" section nor any relevant "character advancement" one. I checked them. Multiple times. I finished the game without knowing any and I only learned about Tab from a review that called out the game on not mentioning it. I mean, dafuq, if a review manages to teach your players more about your game (virtually nothing else needs any sort of manual) than your manual, then you're doing something wrong, I think. And the friggin' thing is in the title. If it was called "Swords of Gold", then it would be less of a problem.
 

Terminate421

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Link to the past, the hammer head boss, the mallet works once to crack a piece off but beyond that you have no idea you are damaging him.
 

Strain42

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I was playing the newest Donkey Kong game, and by playing I mean I had picked up the controller in the middle of Target.

It was on a boss fight, I forget what it was. I THINK it was a giant boar, not positive.

Now after fiddling with the controls a bit, I had figured out how to punch, jump, ground pound, few little things here and there.

Could not hurt this boss. Kept getting my ass handed it to me. I said "this is stupid" and handed the controller to my friend who was too busy trying to keep his urine inside of him while laughing so hard.

...He couldn't hurt the boss either. Eventually he said "This IS stupid..."

Never learned how to beat that boss.
 
Sep 14, 2009
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any game that has a section that MAKES you die no matter what to proceed, i quicksave/load like crazy in these games getting frustrated to death, then after 20+ tries I finally say "fuck it, Go ahead game, tell me game over" and the screen changes to me being locked in a cell or something.

Fuck you games, at least give some kind of damn hint. (not to mention, when i nearly WIN the battle I am in, there is a problem, if you want me to die so badly, don't make it an even slightly winnable scenario)
 

TheCommanders

ohmygodimonfire
Nov 30, 2011
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I vaguely remember (it was a long time ago) that the original Elder Scrolls game, arena, had one puzzle that actually required you to look in the installation manual that came with your CD for the answer. I don't remember how obvious the hints were, but I still remember going: seriously?
 

Jmp_man

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TheCommanders said:
I vaguely remember (it was a long time ago) that the original Elder Scrolls game, arena, had one puzzle that actually required you to look in the installation manual that came with your CD for the answer. I don't remember how obvious the hints were, but I still remember going: seriously?
Ahhh... yes... copy protection. One of the earliest forms of DRM for games there is.
*sigh*
Good times, goooood times.

Melon Hunter said:
I remember there being this one puzzle in a game called Trace Memory. You had to hold the DS half open and sideways while looking at the reflection of the top screen in combination with the bottom screen.
...what?

It doesn't help that the solution was that there was an apple, a key in a book, and the number 3 (or was it an E?).
...what?

That being said that puzzle was guessable and they gave you the reflection hint, but you would still be wondering what the puzzle in the frame on the coffee table was for.

Oh ya, it also had the "close the DS" puzzle also. So ya...
 

370999

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Pokemon being so tight-lipped about what natures do as well as EVs and IVs. Not to mention how certain pokemon such as Miltoic/Regis were incredibly hard to get unless you looked it up on the net.
 

XMark

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The old NES Castlevania 2 is pretty much the ultimate example of this. There is no logical way any person could have figured out how to get through that game without reading a walkthrough on Nintendo Power or something.
 

RJ 17

The Sound of Silence
Nov 27, 2011
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Leemaster777 said:
I think your Sonic 3 example is a good one. And no, you're not the only one who got held up at that point. Me, and all my friends, always had trouble with it too.

Well, I could spout the names of several different adventure games and call it a day (Riven, in particular, jumps out at me), but I've got another good one.

In one of the X-Men games for the Genesis (I forget exactly which one it is at the moment), when you get to the end of the game, you basically reach a dead end, with no way to proceed. The solution? Hit the reset button on your console. THAT will take you to the final screen.

What in the flying name of FUCK would lead you be believe that would work?
:p that one reminds of one from Metal Gear Solid...specifically when you're fighting the psychic guy that cheats by knowing every button you press and reacts accordingly, making him invincible.......unless you plug your controller into the player 2 slot.

Now I've never played MGS (I played MGS 2, but by all accounts that's one that is best left forgotten :p) so I don't know if there's any hints or tips that you have to plug your controller into the 2nd player slot. But if there isn't, I can't imagine how the hell you're supposed to think to do that.
 

Leemaster777

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RJ 17 said:
Leemaster777 said:
I think your Sonic 3 example is a good one. And no, you're not the only one who got held up at that point. Me, and all my friends, always had trouble with it too.

Well, I could spout the names of several different adventure games and call it a day (Riven, in particular, jumps out at me), but I've got another good one.

In one of the X-Men games for the Genesis (I forget exactly which one it is at the moment), when you get to the end of the game, you basically reach a dead end, with no way to proceed. The solution? Hit the reset button on your console. THAT will take you to the final screen.

What in the flying name of FUCK would lead you be believe that would work?
:p that one reminds of one from Metal Gear Solid...specifically when you're fighting the psychic guy that cheats by knowing every button you press and reacts accordingly, making him invincible.......unless you plug your controller into the player 2 slot.

Now I've never played MGS (I played MGS 2, but by all accounts that's one that is best left forgotten :p) so I don't know if there's any hints or tips that you have to plug your controller into the 2nd player slot. But if there isn't, I can't imagine how the hell you're supposed to think to do that.
I've actually never played MGS, but I do know about that boss fight. Apparently, if you call your commander or whatever enough times, he flat-out tells you to plug the controller into port 2. It is a bit ridiculous, though.
 

Skops

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RJ 17 said:
Leemaster777 said:
I think your Sonic 3 example is a good one. And no, you're not the only one who got held up at that point. Me, and all my friends, always had trouble with it too.

Well, I could spout the names of several different adventure games and call it a day (Riven, in particular, jumps out at me), but I've got another good one.

In one of the X-Men games for the Genesis (I forget exactly which one it is at the moment), when you get to the end of the game, you basically reach a dead end, with no way to proceed. The solution? Hit the reset button on your console. THAT will take you to the final screen.

What in the flying name of FUCK would lead you be believe that would work?
:p that one reminds of one from Metal Gear Solid...specifically when you're fighting the psychic guy that cheats by knowing every button you press and reacts accordingly, making him invincible.......unless you plug your controller into the player 2 slot.

Now I've never played MGS (I played MGS 2, but by all accounts that's one that is best left forgotten :p) so I don't know if there's any hints or tips that you have to plug your controller into the 2nd player slot. But if there isn't, I can't imagine how the hell you're supposed to think to do that.
There is, Campbell calls you on Codec and tells you two ways:

1) plug in controller 2

2) Destroy the statues in the room, and whenever Mantis gets near them he gets distracted.
 

teqrevisited

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Mar 17, 2010
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I never got the confusion surround that barrel. It seemed so obvious to me. Captcha related: "up or down".

gmaverick019 said:
any game that has a section that MAKES you die no matter what to proceed, i quicksave/load like crazy in these games getting frustrated to death, then after 20+ tries I finally say "fuck it, Go ahead game, tell me game over" and the screen changes to me being locked in a cell or something.

Fuck you games, at least give some kind of damn hint. (not to mention, when i nearly WIN the battle I am in, there is a problem, if you want me to die so badly, don't make it an even slightly winnable scenario)
I almost fell for that at the end of Final Fantasy 3, after a good solid hour and a half spent getting to the end and being one-shot by the boss. Luckily things happened while I was sighing out of disbelief and I didn't turn off the game.

My addition to the list would be any adventure game ever. You always end up having to combine the most mundane of items in the strangest way to create some overcomplicated device to solve what could have been a fairly simple problem. I do enjoy them but it really does take the piss sometimes.