Alter a sport to make it more interesting

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Basketball - replace the floor with giant trampoline, oh and have the ball explode when the shot clock runs down.
Figure Skating - add Polar Bears, seriously if anyone can to spins and jumps on ice while being chased by a polar bear they are a true athlete
Swimming - add sharks, see above
Formula 1 - Pedestrians, cyclists and roadworks
Football - Treat anyone who dives like a horse that's broke it's leg and shot them (I hate divers)
Cricket or Baseball - Show anything else on the tv
Bob sled - Nitro

 

[Toasty Virus]

George Carlin did a piece on this.


It's audio online, but whatcha gonna do?

I personally would have basketball played with a flamming ball, and give nobody protective clothing.

 

[Continuity]

Golf, except the golf balls are filled with nitroglycerine. It may not get off the first tee but it would sure as hell be more amusing.

 

[Agayek]

After an entire afternoon of being forced to watch cricket, my mind drifted just to dull the agony of my brain having leaked out my ear and into my pocket.

All I could think of was how much more awesome this sport would be if about half a dozen hydraulic springboards were scattered over the field and camoflauged into the grass. Or if I were watching Blernsball.

So in the interest of making a boring sport less excruciatingly dull to watch....what alterations would you make to them that would give you a reason to stay fixed to the screen?

(PS: I'm not trying to openly bash cricket or any other sport for the fun of it, its just that I find it horribly boring to watch and have a retarded mind.)

Suggestion for Cricket: Make it more like Krikkit, where the balls are actually explosive devices, some of which are capable of destroying the universe.

Else: Take American Football and turn it into real-time Bloodbowl. Then win.

 

[sheah1]

Bloodbowl, anyone?

 

[lvl9000_woot]

Any sport: losing team gets dunked in magma!

/thread

 

[Continuity]

Why would watching an athlete get maimed be entertaining?

Oh hell yes.

Perhaps its just me but personally I think less pretentious skill and more good old fashion maiming would make most sports more entertaining. At least they would earn their ridiculous pay.

Bloodbowl, anyone?

 

[sheah1]

Mixed Martial Arts that has actual martial arts in it?

I mean, I watch it, and it's grown men dry-humping each other. At least wrestling doesn't pretend to be otherwise.

Your avatar looks familiar...

Ok, football. 10 minutes long, 100 players per side, no goalie and after 5 minutes its MULTIBALL TIME!

Always nice to see a fellow Tim Minchin fan.

I'll have to find myself a different Minchin avatar now...

We can share! Also this now looks like just one person talking to themselves!

Ok. Keeping thread OT. Wimbledon but the net surrounds the players, the rackets are cheese wire and the last man standing wins.

You're both just so awesome.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

[link]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4agc7uL2Nzk[/link]

Blernsball. Nuff said.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Ok, we'll start with NASCAR.

Step 1: Remove the restrictor plates.
Step 2: Replace all 1.5 mile ovals with road courses around the world. Places like Monaco. And the Nurburgring Nordschliefe.
Step 3: Run the races rain or shine. Real men don't cower under an umbrella because the road's a bit damp.
Step 4: Get rid of the commercialization. We're here to race, not to sell shit not even remotely related to racing.

And on top of all this, turn the whole damn thing into the movie Death Race. Instant excitement.

 

[Romidude]

To quote a pessimistic, angry English-man; "There are very few situations that can't be improved by jetpacks."

 

[FFHAuthor]

Add 'to the death' to every sport, kicks it up a notch and everyone would have fun...well, so long as you win. The losers face execution for sub par preformances. It would also make us feel better about the salaries paid to professional athletes. They want 40 million dollar contracts, they have to survive to spend them.

A few entertaining examples for instance;

Football, to the death.
Basketball, to the death.
Ping-pong, to the death.
Chess, to the death.
Boggle, to the death.

And not just professional sports, ALL sports.

 

[GundamSentinel]

100 meter sprint with chainsaws. Every runner has a chain saw and is allowed to use it in whatever way to cross the line first.

 

[dagens24]

Ultimate w/ a razor sharp frisbie

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Ok, we'll start with NASCAR.

Step 1: Remove the restrictor plates.
Step 2: Replace all 1.5 mile ovals with road courses around the world. Places like Monaco. And the Nurburgring Nordschliefe.
Step 3: Run the races rain or shine. Real men don't cower under an umbrella because the road's a bit damp.
Step 4: Get rid of the commercialization. We're here to race, not to sell shit not even remotely related to racing.

And on top of all this, turn the whole damn thing into the movie Death Race. Instant excitement.

It would be awesome, but spectator safety disallows the use of live ammunition, and if we can't use live ammo we can't have a proper Death Race.


Maybe the last place car gets blown to smithereens after the race?

Hmmm...maybe cover the height of the stands in foot thick bulletproof glass? It's gotta have live ammo...Or maybe they don't have weapons, but the track is littered with Prince of Persia style death traps that are triggered randomly!!

 

[emeraldrafael]

Football, but the defenders are tigers.

Hopefully they'll eat all the bastards.

Which one?

OT: hm... baseball. Only we use aluminum bats. I mean hell, if I have to watch the boring game, at least they may as well score alot.

 

[theriddlen]

Distractions can make any sport more interesting.

 

[badgersprite]

Set soccer on a field shaped like a pinball machine and enforce a rule that a multi ball section has to occur randomly during the game.