This actually happened about a year and a half ago now but to this day it still plays on my mind. By the way long story coming up, sorry :\. Anyway basically I was with this girl for about 6 months, when she starts making remarks about one of my best friends. For the sake of argument let's call her L and him S. Essentially L starting remarking about how sexy S was and how her and her friends always talk about him. I thought nothing about it. Then one day she randomly asks me what I think of cheating in the relationship. Caught a bit off guard I am honest and say it's despicable and should never be done as if you want someone else that much you shouldn't be in that relationship. She then randomly gets in a mood with me for the rest of the evening, again I think nothing of it. After 7 months she leaves out of the blue me without giving any real reason and a week later is with S. Now my question is, was she cheating on me? I don't really mind if she was, I have been with my current girlfriend over a year now and am very happy, but I burnt bridges with both of them over it and because of which it still haunts me whether I could have cut two very special people out of my life over nothing :\
Am I paranoid or was I played?
- Thread starter AdmanUK
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To me, it sounds like she was probably cheating. The only other reason I can think of for asking that question would be to find out whether you'd rather be cheated on or dumped, but honestly who the fuck prefers being cheated on?
I'd say she definitely left you for S, but whether she had been cheating on you before that... I'd say she was. That question she asked... Either she was cheating or she had no social competence.
To be honest, if your girlfriend needs to know your opinion on cheating she is not a good girlfriend. I mean, it's nice to know, but asking is suspicious, and you should always assume they think it's petty and vain unless you know otherwise. But if you knew otherwise, you wouldn't be in a relationship with them would you?
Unless you had made it specifically clear at the beginning of the relationship, that it was to be without boundaries and without ties, I'd say she cheated on you. Sorry, mate. But when she ask you that question, it's like asking yourself this.
"If you ever need to ask yourself the question "do I love him/her", then you are not in love." - Arthur C. Clarke.
(the quote is not exactly like that, but it goes along those lines.)
"If you ever need to ask yourself the question "do I love him/her", then you are not in love." - Arthur C. Clarke.
(the quote is not exactly like that, but it goes along those lines.)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes, cheating did occur. When she asked your opinion on infidelity, and after all that she said about S, you should have known that, had you given her the opposite answer, she would have either nonchalantly told you that she fucked S or announced her intention to do so. The mood of hers was probably the same thing as a child getting grumpy when told "no" by a parent.
Even if she wasn;t cheating she still broke up with you and then a got together with one of your "best friends". If either of them really cared about you then they wouldn't of gone out with eachother. If your happy now then good riddance to them because your alot better off without them!
Whether she was cheating or not, she was being horrible. Certainly likely that she was, which only makes it worse.
Just don't think about it too much. It'll drive you crazy.
Just don't think about it too much. It'll drive you crazy.
She gave you more than enough obvious hints that she was interested in the other guy. If you had actually listened to what she was saying, or how she was feeling she might not have left you for a better guy.
That's what I got out of that. As for being mad at the guy, he didn't steal her until after she broke it off with you. That alone takes a lot of self control and respect for your friend.
I would know, since my friends girlfriend asked me to have sex with her, saying that her relationship with my friend was getting boring and she was planning on leaving him anyways. I wasn't strong enough to turn down good sex for long, it seems like S probably was.
In short learn from past mistakes if you can, and don't worry about the past.
That's what I got out of that. As for being mad at the guy, he didn't steal her until after she broke it off with you. That alone takes a lot of self control and respect for your friend.
I would know, since my friends girlfriend asked me to have sex with her, saying that her relationship with my friend was getting boring and she was planning on leaving him anyways. I wasn't strong enough to turn down good sex for long, it seems like S probably was.
In short learn from past mistakes if you can, and don't worry about the past.
^This. And I agree with your answer OP.tomtom94 said:
Also, could we make a convention of not using one letter to denote a person? It tends to get hard following a story if it's at all longer (which is not the case here, but the fact it's all in one paragraph brings it on the same level). Just give 'em fake names, they're real for all we know and if you're worried about them seeing it, it's the same shit.
Or, tell him you hope L didn't catch your herpes/gonorrhea/STD of choice.Chevy235 said:
That should make him sweat.
Also, she sounds like a *****.