Am I screwed?

[subtlefuge]

1. Move to Austin.
2. Have tons of fun in the liberal capital of Texas and the de facto cultural capital of the world (SXSW and ACL).
3. Thank me for solving every single one of your problems.

 

[Fearzone]

You're not screwed. First of all, there are plenty of agnostic girls out there, and even if there were only one, well that is all you really need. Second, unless religion were totally toxic to you, I wouldn't let that stand in the way of something that was otherwise good. You say you are agnostic which suggests religion isn't a big deal for you, and as long as you are open about your views, and she about hers, don't let that stand in the way of love.

 

[thethingthatlurks]

Yo, fellow Texan!
Here are some statistical trends that might be of interest to you:
Religiosity increases with age. Young people tend to be skeptical of religion, while older people...not so much.
Religiosity decreases with increased education. Makes sense when you think about it. This is particularly true for education in scientific fields.
Religiosity decreases with increased urbanization. It's a mix of the two above. Young and educated people tend to live in the city, so their culture is there as well.

So, if you really insist on placing such importance on one's spiritual beliefs, get a college education in physics, move to downtown Austin, and date while you're still young!

Also, congrats on "coming out" so to speak! Takes a strong mind to break free from religious dogma by one's own decision.

 

[Chal]

You're not screwed. First of all, there are plenty of agnostic girls out there, and even if there were only one, well that is all you really need. Second, unless religion were totally toxic to you, I wouldn't let that stand in the way of something that was otherwise good. You say you are agnostic which suggests religion isn't a big deal for you, and as long as you are open about your views, and she about hers, don't let that stand in the way of love.

Agreed. I think tolerance between varying faiths is important, but maybe that's just because I'm an agnostic in the fervently religious state of Utah. It's not like you and your friends need to agree on absolutely everything. Romance gets a bit trickier though, especially if your significant other is going to be baptizing your children. I don't think I can really offer any good advice when it comes to that.

 

[DarkShadow144]

Honestly I would say that you might be S.O.L. I mean, I live in New Jersey, and when I told my friends that I was an atheist(it came up in conversation, I didn't just come out of nowhere) I probably lost about 3/4 of my friend pool and a "potential" gf. Not a fun day to say the least.

 

[Phoenix_XIII]

Honestly I would say that you might be S.O.L. I mean, I live in New Jersey, and when I told my friends that I was an atheist(it came up in conversation, I didn't just come out of nowhere) I probably lost about 3/4 of my friend pool and a "potential" gf. Not a fun day to say the least.

If they just left you because of your beliefs, they were never worth it in the first place. A true friend will accept you no matter what.

 

[manaman]

I lived in Texas.

Yes Texas is the south, yes rural Texas can sometimes be quite religious conservative, but the 80% of the people in that state that live in urban areas, at least the urban areas I have visited are not as bad as you seem to be implying.

Which begs another question: Why do you even care about the religious affiliations of others?

 

[zelda2fanboy]

1. Move to Austin.
2. Have tons of fun in the liberal capital of Texas and the de facto cultural capital of the world (SXSW and ACL).
3. Thank me for solving every single one of your problems.

About what I was going to say. Texas has like three or four major cities, all of which have many, many different types of people in them. Austin is hippie/hipster/hillbilly/ironic hillbilly heaven. There's an old movie called Slacker that's a really worthwhile complete waste of your time. But if you're poor, live in a small town, can't / don't want to get out... Sorry to say you're screwed just as much as people in Oklahoma, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, etc. On the plus side, it doesn't usually get that cold in Texas. There's an old movie about small town hopelessness in Texas called The Last Picture Show. I watch a lot of movies. Not much to do around here.

The point being is that you say you're "agnostic," but you think that excludes you from religion. It really doesn't. It's not hard to keep certain things to yourself, especially an fairly reasonable idea that's not really a religion. I assume you mean that you believe God could exist. There are probably a lot of agnostics who go to church. in fact, you're ripe to be one of the true believers or any particular faith. But what I think you might really mean is that you're an atheist who rejects religious belief altogether for one reason or another, but you've yet to truly come to terms with what that really means.

All that BS aside, if you think you're missing out on girls, you're right. Girls who don't want to have sex until marriage who would begrudge and guilt you over every sinful advance you might make towards them, that's not intended to produce a baby in wedlock. Girls who probably don't use birth control, so one time when you go too far, you have to deal with a chick who won't get an abortion, won't put it up for adoption, and either wants you to marry her immediately, or even better, start producing some child support checks. My Official Advice - Keep it in your pants. Save Your Money. GTFO ASAP Lou Reed said it best - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6L0UD_zn4A

 

[shiaramoon]

I'm in West Texas and considering how many gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transvestites I have met here, (not to mention a Buddhist, and followers of other religions) I don't think you'll have a problem finding the right girl for you. I'm bi, but come from a Southern Baptist family, so I can understand your worries and concerns, but worst case scenarios, you can just go to Austin. You know what they say, "Keep Austin weird".

Texas is a lot more diverse than you think it is, it's just dominated by football-loving Christians, but the other religions are here too, you just have to look a little harder.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Last I checked, religion wasn't a deal breaker in relationships. Maybe it is in Texas.

Just don't talk about it unless you're prompted to speak your opinion.

 

[drisky]

Religion has no bearing on friendship to me, and with a relationship it only comes down to how your kids are raised, and that talk should come much later. Besides if your agnostic rather than atheist, I'd figure you wouldn't mind some one faithful. I really find I only have 3 people I really talk religion with, my father (Catholic), my brother (Atheist), and my friend (Hindu), and thats plenty to get religious discussion out of my system. As long as you have someone to discuss your believes and philosophies with your fine, and for the rest just avoid bringing it up.

 

[ProtonGuy]

Do what I do, bury your feelings of attachment to other humans and look out for yourself. It's awesome to know that you'll never have to worry about offending a significant other with a late night at the bar (or comic shop in my case). You'll also find that your income feels like it's higher than it is, which helps because on the off-chance you do feel lonely you can buy a shiny new nerd emblem to bask in.

I haven't felt lonely, or like I need to find someone to share my life with for years now. It's rather liberating in a sense... and it's hard to feel bummed with an entire Iron Man comic run to read

 

[Damien Granz]

Hello fellow escapers!

I have had some difficulty with my religion all my life and am just now realizing I am an agnostic.
How is this relevant you say? Well, I am wondering if I am going to be able to find any girl to get into a relationship or find some new friends that are the same or atheist. See, I live in Texas and since Texas is being Texas, religion is like sports.

Let me make this clear. This is not a pity thread nor a "nice guy girl problems" thread. I am just wondering since I live in one of the most religious states, when I finally get interested in trying to find someone to develop a relationship with, will I be able to knowing I am agnostic/atheist?

Move and/or date online?

 

[KarlMonster]

You're not screwed. What you are is intimidated.

I agree with a lot of these others; that it shouldn't matter, and you will meet someone who is at least tolerant of agnosticism - sooner or later. I can say this with confidence because there are different kinds of Christians (even in Texas), and a very large majority of them are hypocrites. I'm not saying this to troll, I'm saying this because a lot of people claim a label that they cannot live up to. Real Christians are fine people - when they dont beat you over the head with it.

All I really have to say is that I've been on a few dating websites, and a lot of women declare that their primary interest is the Lord Jesus Christ [in their defense, it is hard to honestly describe who and what you are]. Yet the first two women who wanted me to "cybersex" them were Christians (no this didn't happen often). I nicely explained to them that I don't do that - couldn't we just have a meaningful conversation instead? If we find common ground, then maybe we can escalate from there. Otherwise, what's the point? If someone is too hung up on labels, or not interested enough to get past whatever your label might be, let them go. I'd rather have a relationship than a label. My current GF is a sorta-Christian-but-not-really, and I'm an Agnostic. Religion was never a big deal between us, and I'm fine with that. I think she asked me about it once, but that was it.

When I checked the spelling of hypocrite, the leading add by Google declared "Meaniful Bible Verses! visit .com" - truth will always be stranger than fiction.

 

[randomsix]

If that really is the case, then just find someone who moved there from somewhere else.

And of course there's the age old question: If someone wouldn't be in a relationship with you because of your agnosticism, would you want to be in a relationship with them?

 

[breadsammich]

Anyone who judges you is not worth the time. It's one thing for a christian/jewish/whatever person to preach their beliefs a little. Most of the time they bring something up for religious reasons, but it's valid for other reasons as well. But if someone won't accept you, you don't need them.

Simply put, if your beliefs are that much of a problem to another person, you're probably not going to get along with them anyway. Find someone who will accept you.

I have friends who are devout Christians who take the "Hate the sin, love the sinner" approach to dealing with people. Just because they disagree, sometimes strongly, they will still be good friends.

And then there are Christians like myself who believe you are entitled to whatever you want to believe.

 

[Aurgelmir]

Hello fellow escapers!

I have had some difficulty with my religion all my life and am just now realizing I am an agnostic.
How is this relevant you say? Well, I am wondering if I am going to be able to find any girl to get into a relationship or find some new friends that are the same or atheist. See, I live in Texas and since Texas is being Texas, religion is like sports.

Let me make this clear. This is not a pity thread nor a "nice guy girl problems" thread. I am just wondering since I live in one of the most religious states, when I finally get interested in trying to find someone to develop a relationship with, will I be able to knowing I am agnostic/atheist?

(I think this should be in the Advice thread)

First of all Texas is a huge place, and I am pretty sure your are not the only none christian there.

Second of all not everyone will dislike you just because you do not believe the same as you. Although from my simple understanding of the bible belt in the US that might not hold true for a lot of people.

Who is to say you need to find a Texan girl? Who is to say you need to live in Texas for the rest of your life?

 

[GraveeKing]

You're lucky, a friend of mine is gay, completely atheist AND lives in Texas. Think how he feels!
So no you're not screwed. The dentition of screwed is -insert terribly overused de-motivational picture here-

 

[Fappy]

IF that person actually lets your religion determine their interest in you, they're not worth dating, let alone getting into a serious relationship with. As long as you don't try to force your beliefs (or lack thereof) on a person, they shouldn't have any business disliking you for it.

Oh I know, that is not the problem. The problem is almost every girl I have ever seen or meet or even been friends with has been either baptist or catholic. It seems like I have a hard to finding fellow atheists/agnostic.
That is also part of the reason I am agnostic. I do not like shoving my views or beliefs onto other folks nor do I like it when someone does it to me.

Just pretend you're Catholic. Trust me, its really easy!