Am I still normal?

[Digital_Hero]

Do you have a job, or are you in any school of sorts?
I ask this because more people than you would think (myself included) get a lot like how you are feeling now if they have nothing to spend their time on, nothing they need to "wake up and get out of bed for", or nowhere to go during the daytime.

You may also want to see a psychologist or w.e, but do not take drugs for this, it NEVER works out in the end, trust me on that. >__> but I think the best thing for you is (of course if you are already, my point is moot) to go out and do things.

Oh, and if the world feels like a sandbox to you, go play in it and make friends

 

[SiskoBlue]

My best guess. You're stressed and suffering from anxiety. Have a look at Generalised Anxiety Disorder. The reason you feel depressed is because you feel you can't do anything to resolve your anxieties so feel helpless and depressed.

Feeling hostile towards people, the world seeming unreal and somehow separate from you. Having violent fantasies (and this includes "noble" violent fantasies like imagining you caught some guys attacking a girl and then beat the living sh&t out of them), pushing people to get a response. They all tell me you feel backed in to a corner. You're under stress. It may not be obvious stress. It could just be that nagging feeling that you should be doing something with your life but don't know what. The stress that although you have friends and family you feel you can't rely on them 100%. The stress that things you wanted or thought would happen may not and you're doomed to a pitiful life. These are common fears and anxieties.

So you're under pressure but expected to maintain a normal appearance in society. This feels incongruous (like a lie) and you feel resentful and angry. You lash out.

Talk to someone? Find a way to calm done? As people said changing your situation might change how you feel. People don't realise how much their environment and situation makes them feel the way they do, they see it as background noise when it might be really affecting their day-to-day thoughts.

Good luck.

 

[Kadoodle]

I'm losing my grip on reality. The physical world is having less and less meaning to me, and my interests, passions, relationships, and sanity are all slipping away. My once perfect grades are slipping. I have no friends (partially due to my unintentionally abrasive personality) and I feel bored with life. I can't tell if I'm feeling depressed; hell, I don't even know what I feel anymore, feelings have lost meaning. I insult people more and more, and I have started to troll people over the internet as well as in real life for some sort of amusement which never comes. I can't feel empathy anymore, emotions I used to understand no longer make sense to me. I see myself becoming a complete sociopath. I do obnoxious things just to test reactions, just to see what might happen. I'm angry. I hate everybody I meet, I want to see them suffer. I don't even know who I am, or who I was, or why I even exist anymore. I'm not a user of drugs, but I want to more and more to escape this weird melancholy state of existence.

And the odd thing is, for the first time, I feel like I truly have free will. I could kill somebody, and I wouldn't care. I could rob, steal, cheat, and I would even care if I was caught. I don't fear death anymore. The world feels like a sandbox...



Please, help me, I want to feel human again.

Man i know how you feel, i'm exactly the same and have been like this for a year or so. It's fucking awful i know, my advice is just don't get to the "I'd be better off dead" moment as that's where i hit absolute rock bottom and am still at rock bottom.

Feels better to know I'm not the only one. Thanks.

After some thought, I realized I started feeling this way after I transferred from private school to a public school...

Another thing worth noting is that while I almost always feel this way, I'm not always depressed. When I'm not depressed, I'm just sort of detached, or aware of everything in my original post but indifferent. Thats generally the time when I act like a dick (and regret it later.)

At this moment, I feel slightly better (mostly due to the posts and advice, which have helped), but now I wonder if it has anything to do with the ritalin I take.

 

[sinsfire]

I'm losing my grip on reality. The physical world is having less and less meaning to me, and my interests, passions, relationships, and sanity are all slipping away. My once perfect grades are slipping. I have no friends (partially due to my unintentionally abrasive personality) and I feel bored with life. I can't tell if I'm feeling depressed; hell, I don't even know what I feel anymore, feelings have lost meaning. I insult people more and more, and I have started to troll people over the internet as well as in real life for some sort of amusement which never comes. I can't feel empathy anymore, emotions I used to understand no longer make sense to me. I see myself becoming a complete sociopath. I do obnoxious things just to test reactions, just to see what might happen. I'm angry. I hate everybody I meet, I want to see them suffer. I don't even know who I am, or who I was, or why I even exist anymore. I'm not a user of drugs, but I want to more and more to escape this weird melancholy state of existence.

And the odd thing is, for the first time, I feel like I truly have free will. I could kill somebody, and I wouldn't care. I could rob, steal, cheat, and I would even care if I was caught. I don't fear death anymore. The world feels like a sandbox...



Please, help me, I want to feel human again.

Man i know how you feel, i'm exactly the same and have been like this for a year or so. It's fucking awful i know, my advice is just don't get to the "I'd be better off dead" moment as that's where i hit absolute rock bottom and am still at rock bottom.

Feels better to know I'm not the only one. Thanks.

After some thought, I realized I started feeling this way after I transferred from private school to a public school...

Another thing worth noting is that while I almost always feel this way, I'm not always depressed. When I'm not depressed, I'm just sort of detached, or aware of everything in my original post but indifferent. Thats generally the time when I act like a dick (and regret it later.)

At this moment, I feel slightly better (mostly due to the posts and advice, which have helped), but now I wonder if it has anything to do with the ritalin I take.

This last quote really makes me wonder if you are for real or not. Look either way it sounds like you are a teenager, I did and thought a lot of the same things and while this next piece of advice may sound abrasive and cynical its truth.

Drink some orange juice, go outside, and grow up. Seriously once you hit 25 (approximation) you will just laugh at this time in your life. The world gets better and your outlook will change. Oh and don't let your grades slip. If you want your life to get better fucking up in school is not the way to do it.