Am I wrong to do this?

[BanicRhys]

Okay, I wrote this post and it was way too long, so here's the abridged version.

I'm a 19 year old male.
I became friends with a girl on a certain MMO early this year.
She's 14 years old.
We haven't really video chatted or anything, just email, in game chat and the occasional Ventrilo session.
Recently, she's stated that she wants to meet me in real life for the first time by seeing a movie with me.

Let me make this clear, I am not asking if I should date her. I simply want to know if it would be wrong/weird/illegal (somehow) to be friends with her.

 

[Vault101]

hmmmm....I think if you make it clear what yoru intentions are so both of you are on the same page it should be ok

 

[JoJo]

Nothing wrong with being friends with someone younger (or older for that matter) in the least, indeed it's actually a bit of a problem our society has right now with lack of communication between the generations.

In this particular situation though, if you do meet her in real life you should make sure it's all above board: in a public place, parents know where she is etc.

 

[BanicRhys]

In this particular situation though, if you do meet her in real life you should make sure it's all above board: in a public place, parents know where she is etc.

Yeah, I initially had a hard time getting her to inform her parents about me but I managed to convince her by saying I wouldn't meet her unless her parents met me too.

 

[Zantos]

I find it more worrying that you're not naming the MMO.

But to look at each query. Illegal - certainly not in any country I know, so long as you're just friends . Wrong - is a very subjective term, but again as long as you're just friends then it should be mostly favourable. Weird - No more so than meeting up with people you met online, or your pic. Again, fairly subjective, but mostly favourable.

If you are worried about something, which mostly appears to be how people see you, both take a friend. Actually two, then they have someone they know to talk to when you're talking to this girl. I don't quite know how it works, but if someone sees two people with a large age gap then it's terrible that they might be secretly involved with each other. However several of these pairs of people out together is fine.

Also, for the benefit of one forum member who knows who they are. See! Look at that! I was helpful! I didn't say it! Not even once!

EDIT: Ooooh, ok, parents also works.

 

[BanicRhys]

I find it more worrying that you're not naming the MMO.

I was trying to keep the details as vague as possible in case she happens to visit this site, but if you must know, it was WoW.

 

[Zantos]

I find it more worrying that you're not naming the MMO.

I was trying to keep the details as vague as possible in case she happens to visit this site, but if you must know, it was WoW.

Ah, that makes more sense than what I thought.

You don't want to know what I thought.

I don't even know if what I thought is a real thing.

 

[Spoonius]

If I were her parents I'd be more than a little sceptical and uncomfortable about this. Not saying that you're in the wrong or anything, but they'll probably think you're trying to take advantage of her.

And who knows? Even if you have honourable intentions she might not.

 

[excalipoor]

Regardless of your intentions, or hers, people are probably going to give you looks. If you can deal with that, and the parents are fine with it, then why not?

You don't want to know what I thought.

I don't even know if what I thought is a real thing.

The law of Internet dictates that if you start a thought, you have to finish it. Spit it out!

 

[Kinguendo]

*Looks at avatar* WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING FIEND?!

Depending on where you live, this could go very wrong for you or not bat an eyelid.

 

[Zantos]

You don't want to know what I thought.

I don't even know if what I thought is a real thing.

The law of Internet dictates that if you start a thought, you have to finish it. Spit it out!

Is that a real rule? Is that why Youtube comments are so horrible, because the people leaving the comments have no choice? That explains a lot.

Also it was World of Sexcraft, where grinding means a different thing that no one complains about. I don't know if it is a real thing, I am also not willing to type that into Google.

 

[Screamarie]

When I was 12 I had an online chat friend who was male and seventeen. We never got to meet in person (I'm in Texas, he was in Georgia and we lost touch over the years), but I very much enjoyed having him as a friend and I often told my mother about it.

As long as her parents are very much aware of what's going on and the girl herself isn't thinking this is a date, then you are very much not a perv or doing anything illegal...though don't be surprised if/when you get wierd looks about it.

 

[excalipoor]

You don't want to know what I thought.

I don't even know if what I thought is a real thing.

The law of Internet dictates that if you start a thought, you have to finish it. Spit it out!

Is that a real rule? Is that why Youtube comments are so horrible, because the people leaving the comments have no choice? That explains a lot.

Also it was World of Sexcraft, where grinding means a different thing that no one complains about. I don't know if it is a real thing, I am also not willing to type that into Google.

I may or may not have made it up.

Being the brave soul I am, I googled World of Sexcraft. I'm pretty sure it's just a corny name for WoW cartoon porn and/or fanfiction.

 

[Little Woodsman]

In this particular situation though, if you do meet her in real life you should make sure it's all above board: in a public place, parents know where she is etc.

Yeah, I initially had a hard time getting her to inform her parents about me but I managed to convince her by saying I wouldn't meet her unless her parents met me too.

Excellent--that was going to be my advice.
Now here's just something to think about--take it with as much salt as you find necessary
to make it palatable. An embarrassing number of years ago I was in a similar situation. A
friend pointed out to me--"If you two are ever alone together, even if nothing happens, if
she *says* something happened, and you deny it, who do you think will be believed?"

 

[BanicRhys]

In this particular situation though, if you do meet her in real life you should make sure it's all above board: in a public place, parents know where she is etc.

Yeah, I initially had a hard time getting her to inform her parents about me but I managed to convince her by saying I wouldn't meet her unless her parents met me too.

Excellent--that was going to be my advice.
Now here's just something to think about--take it with as much salt as you find necessary
to make it palatable. An embarrassing number of years ago I was in a similar situation. A
friend pointed out to me--"If you two are ever alone together, even if nothing happens, if
she *says* something happened, and you deny it, who do you think will be believed?"

Yeah, I've considered that too, I'll make sure to stay under the loving watch of Mr and Mrs security camera.

 

[Kolby Jack]

Yea dude, SEX with minors is illegal. If you don't plan on dating her, let alone sleeping with her, then go ahead. Maybe in 4 years you WILL want to date her and then it'll be all cool.

 

[TaintedSaint]

Yea dude, SEX with minors is illegal. If you don't plan on dating her, let alone sleeping with her, then go ahead. Maybe in 4 years you WILL want to date her and then it'll be all cool.

This 100% Dude its wrong and kinda pedo don't do it. for all you know its a female cop impersonating a young girl, the catch people all the time doing that. Your best bet is to defriend her and put her on ignore after telling her you are not interested.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

When I was 15 years old I met a person on a video game forum that, through the sheer randomness of the universe, happened to live only twenty or so minutes away from me. We became close friends, and when I was seventeen, we acknowledged that it was love. I'm 24 now, and we're still together. Married now.

There's a 9 year age gap between us. I'm the younger one.

We've found our soulmates, so honestly, we don't really give a damn what the rest of the world thinks of our relationship or its origins. We're happy, and at the end of the day, that's what matters. Don't let anyone ever try to convince you otherwise.

I understand that you're not looking to date this young woman, so the finer points of my story don't apply. But my overall message remains the same that the happiness you two share in your friendship is the only thing that matters, and to hell with anyone else. Whether or not they see it as "weird" is completely irrelevant, so long as nobody is getting hurt.

 

[Smeatza]

People are stupid, so don't meet her because even if it's innocent you'll still get called a pedo.

 

[BanicRhys]

Yea dude, SEX with minors is illegal. If you don't plan on dating her, let alone sleeping with her, then go ahead. Maybe in 4 years you WILL want to date her and then it'll be all cool.

This 100% Dude its wrong and kinda pedo don't do it. for all you know its a female cop impersonating a young girl, the catch people all the time doing that. Your best bet is to defriend her and put her on ignore after telling her you are not interested.

I'm not sure about that, from what I've seen the ones that get arrested have all been sending really sexual messages to each other and have usually met up for the express purpose of having sex.

We're meeting up in a busy shopping centre, in the middle of the day, while her mother is present. That hardly sounds like a pedo set up.

People are stupid, so don't meet her because even if it's innocent you'll still get called a pedo.

I don't really care about being called a pedo as long as it's not by the police. Which shouldn't happen given how I've treated her (like a bro).