If it was me, I certainly would not do it at all, there's just too horrible of a stigma out there to take the chance. Just stay online friends would be my advice.
Am I wrong to do this?
- Thread starter BanicRhys
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The law is a guideline. Listen to your head and your heart. And if you really listen, then you shouldn't go wrong.
SOLVE MEDIA = "fast and loose"
*how inappropriate.
SOLVE MEDIA = "fast and loose"
*how inappropriate.
You're fine. In fact, even if you were going to date her, that would be legal as well. Sure, it breaks the 1/2 + 7 rule so it'd be creepy as hell, but as long as you aren't having sex with her it's legal.
But since you're just friends with her, none of that matters. Go enjoy your movie.
But since you're just friends with her, none of that matters. Go enjoy your movie.
I've had younger friends before, without even thinking of the potential public view. No issues, it was strictly platonic. In fact, the fact that it was completely friends is probably why it didn't even occur to me that someone could find it weird.
Having said that, I think that this could go very badly for you for several reasons. First of all, you wouldn't have asked if you didn't think there was some potential problems. The second issue is what others have mentioned, what if you turn her advances down? She might say it was all your idea, etc. Even if initially you meet her parents and everyone is cool, they might trust you enough that the two of you could hang out alone. In that case it opens the problem of accusations.
Finally, I would be most worried if I were you based on the fact that she didn't want to tell her parents. If she didn't want them to know, there might be a good reason for that. Either she wants there to be more than friendship or maybe her parents are the overprotective type who wioll kill you for accidental contact that they misinterpret.
I'm not saying don't do it, but I would difinitely say it has more bad potential than good. Be careful if you go through with it.
Having said that, I think that this could go very badly for you for several reasons. First of all, you wouldn't have asked if you didn't think there was some potential problems. The second issue is what others have mentioned, what if you turn her advances down? She might say it was all your idea, etc. Even if initially you meet her parents and everyone is cool, they might trust you enough that the two of you could hang out alone. In that case it opens the problem of accusations.
Finally, I would be most worried if I were you based on the fact that she didn't want to tell her parents. If she didn't want them to know, there might be a good reason for that. Either she wants there to be more than friendship or maybe her parents are the overprotective type who wioll kill you for accidental contact that they misinterpret.
I'm not saying don't do it, but I would difinitely say it has more bad potential than good. Be careful if you go through with it.
be friends - cool, although i cannot imagine that she is so far ahead of her age (14yo rarely are on the same page as young adults) that it's interesting enough to last longer, or expand onto RL
more - as you said, no way
anyway: very, VERY carefull now; meeting in RL, especially for date-stuff like movies etc, might quite quickly raise some eyebrows, or worse.
you'll die one day no matter what; no need to dig your own grave.
i know i'd stay the hell away
more - as you said, no way
anyway: very, VERY carefull now; meeting in RL, especially for date-stuff like movies etc, might quite quickly raise some eyebrows, or worse.
you'll die one day no matter what; no need to dig your own grave.
i know i'd stay the hell away
The age difference is 5 years, you're 19 so so it seems very very big, which it sort of is at that age. Friends is nothing wrong as long as you don't do aything illegal, playing with the fact that you guys would get together in 2 years or so and still be together in 6 years? She'd be 20 and you 25 and at that time the age difference wouldn't be too bad... That's just how shit works...
Assuming Australia doesn't have bizarre age-restriction laws for social interaction (I'm from AMURIKA), you have nothing to worry about legally. I guess the question is whether you would be socially comfortable with the fact that you're meeting a 14 year-old girl and watching a movie with her in a public mall. Also, it seems you're taking the right steps for this event to take place without much allegations of sexual interaction between you and her.
Also, I wouldn't be boasting around the fact that you went to a mall to watch a movie with a 14 year-old girl. Because most people are stupid and jump to the worst conclusions immediately, they will not see you in any positive light regardless of the actual details.
Also, I wouldn't be boasting around the fact that you went to a mall to watch a movie with a 14 year-old girl. Because most people are stupid and jump to the worst conclusions immediately, they will not see you in any positive light regardless of the actual details.
Definitely one of your best avatars yet Vault, very funny.Vault101 said:
OT: Weird? Quite. Wrong? No. Illegal? Definitely not. It's not a problem for you to be friends with her and you seem to have everything sorted with her parents so I can't imagine you seeing any trouble for it.
yeah, i kind of agree here. if (and that's a big if) she does want a relationship and feels hurt if/when you say no, she could say stuff about you. then you're in for it. ther'll be trouble and rozzers and whatnot so it's risky, if you decide to befrined her (nothing more) then make sure you aren't alone together/make sure you have evidence nothing happened.Rastelin said:
Go for it, nothing wrong with that, especially if SHE is the one who asked.
I am 22 and my two closest friend are 34 and 11. So I am no stranger to age gaps.
Though...your avatar worries me...
I am 22 and my two closest friend are 34 and 11. So I am no stranger to age gaps.
Though...your avatar worries me...
I hate to have to agree with you because it's a sad testament to how fucked up our society can be, but I do agree with you. I won't outright recommend saying no because that is up to the OP, but it is extremely important to know what the potential consequences are if this were to go badly. If you're a resident of the US, and unless you had friends with you who were present for every single interaction between you and this girl and could testify to everything that happened in court as eye-witnesses, you could end up one false accusation away from a statutory rape charge and prison time in the worst case scenario. Think everything through, and for the love of god tread very, very carefully. Assuming you are not actually pedophile/rapist, you could be more at risk of your life being ruined than she is.Rastelin said:
As long as you make it clear that it's not going beyond friendship to both her and her parents then I don't see a problem.
I...don't know. 14, bro. I suppose if her parents consented that'd be fine but even so...that's...a bit much, in my opinion.
You're 19, she's 14...
Being friends? Fine.
Being flirty internet friends? Lil creepy, but generally okay.
Anything more than friends? Not til she's 18, and even then the creep-factor is off the charts.
This?
Avoid actions like this at all costs.
Being friends? Fine.
Being flirty internet friends? Lil creepy, but generally okay.
Anything more than friends? Not til she's 18, and even then the creep-factor is off the charts.
This?
Horrible idea, regardless of innocent intentions.BanicRhys said:
Avoid actions like this at all costs.
You totally should google it just to see, do it in private browsing and clear your cache afterwards?Zantos said:
Isn't the age of consent 16? Except in the Vatican City where it's 13 to this day. 18 is for booze and being naked on tv and in printed publications and other porn isn't it?Dark_Reaction said:
Or is the USA different?