Am I wrong to do this?

[Rheinmetall]

None of the above. Just too damn risky.

 

[Lyri]

Okay, I wrote this post and it was way too long, so here's the abridged version.

I'm a 19 year old male.
I became friends with a girl on a certain MMO early this year.
She's 14 years old.
We haven't really video chatted or anything, just email, in game chat and the occasional Ventrilo session.
Recently, she's stated that she wants to meet me in real life for the first time by seeing a movie with me.

Let me make this clear, I am not asking if I should date her. I simply want to know if it would be wrong/weird/illegal (somehow) to be friends with her.

Keep it inside the game, alarm bells are fucking ringing Charlie.

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

It sounds a bit risky to me. Is it really worth going cross-country just to meet someone you met online? Let alone someone younger of below consenting age. Besides, I've seen the listings at my local cinema and outside of Skyfall there's nothing good on.

If you think you should do it then by all means go.

Spoiler: Just do one thing for me...

Take a seat, Right over there.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

Yeah, it's fine. I'm 15 and I've had friends that were around 18-19. Really even if is misconstruedby whoever you could explain it away quite simply...

 

[Snowbell]

Phone her parents to let her know you'll look after her and intend to keep it all above-board and always stick to well populated areas where she'll feel safest.

When I was 14 my friend almost met up in person with her online boyfriend, this is the reverse of what I suggested to her

 

[Phasmal]

As long as you stress to her that it's strictly platonic 100% and ensure that you respond appropriately (as in backing the fuck off) if she tries anything, then sure, go for it.
If you're not sure, don't bother, it's probably too much hassle in the long run to be worth it.

 

[Dark_Reaction]

You're 19, she's 14...

Being friends? Fine.

Being flirty internet friends? Lil creepy, but generally okay.

Anything more than friends? Not til she's 18, and even then the creep-factor is off the charts.

This?

Recently, she's stated that she wants to meet me in real life for the first time by seeing a movie with me.

Horrible idea, regardless of innocent intentions.

Avoid actions like this at all costs.

Isn't the age of consent 16? Except in the Vatican City where it's 13 to this day. 18 is for booze and being naked on tv and in printed publications and other porn isn't it?

Or is the USA different?

Age of consent varies throughout the US, anywhere from 14 in some Southern states to 18 in others. However, at 18, an individual is considered an adult - regardless of what their parents think, they are legally free to do and say as they like, and thus that is the point at which I would say is the cut-off for dating (especially if you've already reached that age-cutoff point yourself).

That said, my comment was not solely from a legal perspective, but from an ethical one - reaching 18 doesn't automatically grant a person a better grasp on reality and the consequences of actions made therein, but its certainly an improvement; and waiting until that point to get romantically involved would grant the couple time to get to know each other fully and to give the younger of the two time to develop on their own.

As someone in their mid-20s, I can say that I would have far less of a problem with someone in my age-range dating someone leaving their teenage years than a I would with someone leaving their teenage years dating someone still well in the grips of teenager-dom (more like teenager-dumb, amirite?).

Yeah, it's fine. I'm 15 and I've had friends that were around 18-19. Really even if is misconstruedby whoever you could explain it away quite simply...

Except for if she gets vindictive over being scorned by an older man and decides to cause a ruckus.

You must realize its likely all that she would have to do is ACCUSE him of doing something untoward for police to consider taking him into custody, which, if said police show up at your work or home to do so, could prove very VERY awkward when you're forced to explain that, "no really, I didn't touch that 14 year old girl I've been chatting with online and took to a movie".

 

[deathzero021]

nothing is wrong with being friends with somebody, regardless of age. However let me make this very clear, i cannot stress how important it is when i say FRIENDS. if she likes you or if you like her, forget about it. don't under any circumstance even think about "what if" okay?

aside from that, it's all cool man. Only thing you should worry about is her parents. they might not like a 5 year-older man hanging around their little girl unless you can convince them you are trustable. (and that'll be very hard lol) Even if you do, there will still be some people that are going to think it's strange your hanging around a girl that age, so all i gotta say is be careful.

 

[Whateveralot]

Being a 22 year old dating a 16 year old: As long as you are on the same page with "stuff", go for it.

As soon as you notice her habits (childish or not) start to annoy you: flee.

 

[The White Hunter]

You're 19, she's 14...

Being friends? Fine.

Being flirty internet friends? Lil creepy, but generally okay.

Anything more than friends? Not til she's 18, and even then the creep-factor is off the charts.

This?

Recently, she's stated that she wants to meet me in real life for the first time by seeing a movie with me.

Horrible idea, regardless of innocent intentions.

Avoid actions like this at all costs.

Isn't the age of consent 16? Except in the Vatican City where it's 13 to this day. 18 is for booze and being naked on tv and in printed publications and other porn isn't it?

Or is the USA different?

Age of consent varies throughout the US, anywhere from 14 in some Southern states to 18 in others. However, at 18, an individual is considered an adult - regardless of what their parents think, they are legally free to do and say as they like, and thus that is the point at which I would say is the cut-off for dating (especially if you've already reached that age-cutoff point yourself).

That said, my comment was not solely from a legal perspective, but from an ethical one - reaching 18 doesn't automatically grant a person a better grasp on reality and the consequences of actions made therein, but its certainly an improvement; and waiting until that point to get romantically involved would grant the couple time to get to know each other fully and to give the younger of the two time to develop on their own.

As someone in their mid-20s, I can say that I would have far less of a problem with someone in my age-range dating someone leaving their teenage years than a I would with someone leaving their teenage years dating someone still well in the grips of teenager-dom (more like teenager-dumb, amirite?).

Yeah, it's fine. I'm 15 and I've had friends that were around 18-19. Really even if is misconstruedby whoever you could explain it away quite simply...

Except for if she gets vindictive over being scorned by an older man and decides to cause a ruckus.

You must realize its likely all that she would have to do is ACCUSE him of doing something untoward for police to consider taking him into custody, which, if said police show up at your work or home to do so, could prove very VERY awkward when you're forced to explain that, "no really, I didn't touch that 14 year old girl I've been chatting with online and took to a movie".

Fair enough I see your point and your reasoning, as someone in their early 20's who matured fairly quick I can safely say I'd have been better off not seeking any kind of romantic involvement with anybody until a few months ago or so.

Fuck I hate teenage-me, if ever a time machine was needed I'd go back and beat myself down.

 

[Dark_Reaction]

Fuck I hate teenage-me, if ever a time machine was needed I'd go back and beat myself down.

When you're done with that time machine, can I borrow it for a sec?
If I can just remember the first time teenage me picked up that pack of cigarettes, I can save myself several thousand dollars and add a few years back to my life...

 

[frizzlebyte]

If I were her parents I'd be more than a little sceptical and uncomfortable about this. Not saying that you're in the wrong or anything, but they'll probably think you're trying to take advantage of her.

And who knows? Even if you have honourable intentions she might not.

Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. If I were her parents, I'd be going "no way. period." Is it illegal? No. Do I think RL meetups from online chats are asking for trouble. Yes.

Not saying either of you are looking for trouble, but really, I don't think I'd follow through on this one, dude. This is not a chance you want to be taking.

At 19, you don't want to make a mistake that could cause you (rightly or wrongly) to have to get permission from the police to move to a new house

For the rest of your life.

 

[The White Hunter]

If I were her parents I'd be more than a little sceptical and uncomfortable about this. Not saying that you're in the wrong or anything, but they'll probably think you're trying to take advantage of her.

And who knows? Even if you have honourable intentions she might not.

Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. If I were her parents, I'd be going "no way. period." Is it illegal? No. Do I think RL meetups from online chats are asking for trouble. Yes.

Not saying either of you are looking for trouble, but really, I don't think I'd follow through on this one, dude. This is not a chance you want to be taking.

At 19, you don't want to make a mistake that could cause you (rightly or wrongly) to have to get permission from the police to move to a new house

For the rest of your life.

Edit:
Sorry done derped and hit the wrong quote button here, apologies to anyone involved in my inability to aim a mouse pointer!

 

[Artemis923]

Okay, I wrote this post and it was way too long, so here's the abridged version.

I'm a 19 year old male.
I became friends with a girl on a certain MMO early this year.
She's 14 years old.
We haven't really video chatted or anything, just email, in game chat and the occasional Ventrilo session.
Recently, she's stated that she wants to meet me in real life for the first time by seeing a movie with me.

Let me make this clear, I am not asking if I should date her. I simply want to know if it would be wrong/weird/illegal (somehow) to be friends with her.

Meeting chicks from online games can be really weird sometimes, but I've found a few that turned out to be pretty hawt and promptly fucked the daylights out of them. That's the only reason I've ever met broads from an MMO in real life, period.

Fourteen, and going to a movie...idk, that sounds like a date to me, and I would exercise EXTREME caution in going to date-like settings with girls that age.

 

[RandomMan01]

Weird? Sort of. Wrong? No. Illegal? Not in the slightest. Make sure all parties involved know things are strictly platonic.

That being said, maybe going to a movie is a bad idea. That just screams "DANGER!" to me. I'd suggest doing something else. Something a little more public. If she/you are really intent on a movie, invite some friends, or allow to parents to come along. That way, even if she tries something, you have witnesses to say that you didn't do anything. Also, it means that if she tries to get vindictive, and says you came onto her, you have a means of protecting yourself.

If you were any older, I'd say don't do it, but I think that 5 years is okay.

 

[alandavidson]

Probably not a good idea. Unless it's in a big meet-up or convention, you're kind of asking for trouble. Keep the friendship online, keep yourself safe from accusations that could ruin your life forever.

 

[RubyT]

Despite what people are writing here, it all just depends on where you live.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent#By_country_or_region

Look up your country. There are lots of countries where 19-year-olds can have sex with 14-year-old legally. Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal, for example.

 

[frizzlebyte]

If I were her parents I'd be more than a little sceptical and uncomfortable about this. Not saying that you're in the wrong or anything, but they'll probably think you're trying to take advantage of her.

And who knows? Even if you have honourable intentions she might not.

Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. If I were her parents, I'd be going "no way. period." Is it illegal? No. Do I think RL meetups from online chats are asking for trouble. Yes.

Not saying either of you are looking for trouble, but really, I don't think I'd follow through on this one, dude. This is not a chance you want to be taking.

At 19, you don't want to make a mistake that could cause you (rightly or wrongly) to have to get permission from the police to move to a new house

For the rest of your life.

Sure. I'll be doing the same, stopping myself from going out with my first boyfriend, stopping myself from drinking so fucking much and becoming an alchoholic and so on so yeah sure, hell come with me, make it a space-time trip thing...

EDIT: Removing mis-directed snark due to SkarKrow's self-admitted derp derp moment.

 

[The White Hunter]

If I were her parents I'd be more than a little sceptical and uncomfortable about this. Not saying that you're in the wrong or anything, but they'll probably think you're trying to take advantage of her.

And who knows? Even if you have honourable intentions she might not.

Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. If I were her parents, I'd be going "no way. period." Is it illegal? No. Do I think RL meetups from online chats are asking for trouble. Yes.

Not saying either of you are looking for trouble, but really, I don't think I'd follow through on this one, dude. This is not a chance you want to be taking.

At 19, you don't want to make a mistake that could cause you (rightly or wrongly) to have to get permission from the police to move to a new house

For the rest of your life.

Sure. I'll be doing the same, stopping myself from going out with my first boyfriend, stopping myself from drinking so fucking much and becoming an alchoholic and so on so yeah sure, hell come with me, make it a space-time trip thing...

Not sure all the sarcasm was necessary just to make the perfectly valid point that some risks are worth taking.

Wait.. what?

Oh sugar sorry, I didn't mean to quote you was having a slightly off-topic time travel tangent with somebody and hit the quote button on your post.

My apologies, I've been doing it since the last interface update on here, the comment was not meant to be for you.

I shall hence edit the post.

 

[The White Hunter]

Fuck I hate teenage-me, if ever a time machine was needed I'd go back and beat myself down.

When you're done with that time machine, can I borrow it for a sec?
If I can just remember the first time teenage me picked up that pack of cigarettes, I can save myself several thousand dollars and add a few years back to my life...

I done derped and replied to you quoting the wrong person : D

This was for you:


"Sure. I'll be doing the same, stopping myself from going out with my first boyfriend, stopping myself from drinking so fucking much and becoming an alchoholic and so on so yeah sure, hell come with me, make it a space-time trip thing..."

I've been making that fuck up ever since the UI restructuring a few months back.

Maybe that's why I seem to be so unpopular lately, just quoting the wrong people and getting "Um, what the fuck are you talking about?".