An Alien race comes to Earth and wants to access Humanity

[NoDamnNames]

An Alien race comes to Earth and wants to access Humanity, you are ambassador. The Aliens want to know key triumphs and innovations of our species that were not developed for the purpose of war, and in general do not make us look like violent douchebags to see if we are worth keeping in contact with.


Keep in mind even menial inventions like the ladder were initially invented for the purpose of warfare.

might be harder than you think....

 

[Redingold]

Er...

The bicycle!

 

[JoshGod]

Bacon!!
(cannot think of additional things to say, go away mods)

 

[lukeyk]

...4chan....

Bread
Fire-Was invented for warmth not war. Although saying that it really wasn't invented... So how about manipulation of fire. As that also makes it seem like we can make fire-cyclones by spinning around... Man that would be awesome.

 

[Flippincrazy]

My fist.../jk

Seriously though, I'd paused for a while, and then call the aliens out for being hypocrites and ask them the same question. Then there would be an awkward silence. Then we would play Guitar Hero.

 

[SonofaJohannes]

The Piñata?

 

[CrustyOatmeal]

i think an alien race would understand war is a part of every society and would understand that we, being a race still young in age, would discover alot of its innovations through military funding. im sure the spaceships they arrive in were originally/ if not still created for militaristic uses foremost and then colonization/ exploration purposes as a secondary task

if i were the ambassador for the human race i would just give them total access to our entire history, if they were truly and intelligent race they would understand our history as being one of violence and justice and any intelligent race would then understand where were are in our history and either leave is alone until we "grow up", which would be fine, or they would try and set us on the right path, which would be even better. if the alien race was set on destroying us then no ambassador could stop them and if our history was the deciding factor then they could pick up on it by intercepting radio waves or tapping into the internet

my basic idea when it comes to aliens is that if they advanced enough to reach us then they are advanced enough to watch us without our knowledge and judge for themselves what the human race is. from that knowledge they can either kill us, leave us alone, or talk to us; either way we have no control over the decision and very little ability to stop them from their ambitions

 

[Stryc9]

Penicillin, I'm pretty sure that wasn't invented\discovered for warfare and has been used to improve the health of the human race. That and Velcro. Velcro kicks ass.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

Wikipedia and google.

Wait...
Ladders were invented specifically for war? Not for climbing stuff?
Usually it's stuff that's not invented for war get adapted / used for war anyway...

 

[Songbird-O]

I would open with a question regarding how everybody thinks that the loudest people are the most common because the loudest people are the loudest. Then we'd have a tea party and talk about stuff I do, like the nuances of babysitting and visual art critique. If they had a good time I would say "No one knows who the heck I am 'cause I'm not loud. And I have lots of not-loud buddies," perhaps using similes that had been brought up during the aforementioned tea party. If not, I'll talk about my views on education. Because I have tons of arguements regarding education for the greater good. Because Warfare usually isn't on the list.

 

[CommanderKirov]

Socialized medicine?

 

[pirate64]

puppet shows

 

[Dimitriov]

I would say our inventions for war are some of our greatest inventions. certainly it says a great deal about who we as a species are, that so much of what we create is meant to destroy.

If they don't like it that's fine: we'll just destroy them some day!

 

[CharrHearted]

DESTROY THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SckizoBoy]

Y'know, if there was a non-aggressive (i.e. come here and not kick our arses) alien race that encountered us, we'd have to assume that they've got far superior technology and have been monitoring us for a while (pioneers and all that crap). Therefore, having observed us for however long, they should twig that nothing good (for them) can come from interacting with us (selfish race that we are). Hence, they'd probably shrug their shoulders and leave us the hell alone.

OT: Uhm... cricket!

 

[Byere]

Penicillin, I'm pretty sure that wasn't invented\discovered for warfare and has been used to improve the health of the human race. That and Velcro. Velcro kicks ass.

Agreed. Penicillin was invented by accident when Alexander Fleming noted that a fungus that was growing in his lab exuded an antibiotical effect. It was actually discovered long before that, but he was the first to publicly release his findings and have them accepted. Previous findings were obscure, like using a mold on bread to treat an infection.

As for velcro, it was made for easy holding of items and closing of pockets without the zip rusting or the button falling off. Kick-ass as it is, it was invented to aid soldiers.

OT: Bowls. Bowls were NOT made for war, but were made to eat from!

 

[Je Suis Ubermonkey]

Porn.

Should distract them long enough for us to have a good poke around their ship.

Other than that I've got nothing but, as suggested above, bacon.
Once you've ruled out sex, war and food what else is there?