An Autistic's thoughts on Autism

[II2]

I got a psychiatric diagnosis as being ASD (aspergers, specifically) in my late 20's. By that point in my life, I'd adapted around the problems of the 'disorder' - mostly - and have leveraged some of the 'savant' forms of memory function and communication.

Because I've lived with it so long, the diagnosis didn't really give me anything to work on, so much as just gave me a huge retrospective blast of 'oh, thats why' regarding my many many behavioral quirks which were more pronounced as a kid (toe walking, social awkwardness, gastro-intestinal anomalies, intensely deep specific interests, etc).

I don't think it's something to be cured, so much as better understood and tolerated / accommodated. I have problems dealing with the 360' stimuli in cities, but for the most part, I'm high functioning and reasonably well adjusted. I'm fairly happy, but I got some problems - who doesn't?

---

I DO think it's over-diagnosed, to the detriment of those who are coping with the real deal, as are the actions of those diagnosed to use it as a 'get-out-of-jail-free' card for acting like an asshole.

 

[Vault101]

"Aparantly" I have some kind of Autism or somthing...and I think I was actually diagdosed, but I dont know becuase we never talked about it

mabye when I was a kid I used to freak out ALOT over small things, and huge crowds and social events I found hard to cope with

but now Ive eather chilled out alot or leanred to adapt because Im pretty much 99% normal (well as normal as anyone can be )

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I was diagnosed with a mild case of Aspergers at around age 3-4, but this information was not divulged to me until I was 17. At the time, I felt that it made sense on reflection of my social ineptitude, although now I kind of wish I didn't know. As aforementioned, I'm a mild case and don't have any real binding fear or constraints other than my own reticence keeping my from socialising, so I place the blame firmly with myself. I don't have a severe enough condition for it to be considered an excuse and I wouldn't use it as one even if I did. I throw around the term misanthropic a lot to describe myself, and while I do hate people who pester and act like dicks without any prior provocation I suppose I feel more genuine animosity towards social situation themselves than any particular individual. Trying to awkwardly strike up a conversation, walking to a room full of people you don't know and the beleaguering sense of paranoia that other people are actively working to deride or excise you from the social circle (to be fair, sometimes they genuinely are).

 

[Vausch]

Officially diagnosed at age 17. Nobody in my family knew about it until then and they figured it couldn't hurt to get me tested, lo and behold the reason I don't look people in the eye is explained. And here I thought it was just because I'm a misanthrope.

Oddly enough my social skills seemed to improve rapidly because I knew I had a good reason for it and hopefully if I did something off-putting I had a reasonable excuse. Never took advantage of it, but just embraced it.

However, people that claim the syndrome without getting tested, understand this: You're not autistic. Odds are if you're just claiming it because you happen to be a collector or have some social awkwardness, it's not aspergers syndrome and you're just looking for an excuse. Own up.

 

[KingofallCosmos]

Adding to the OP's complaint, please don't use the word "mild" with autism. This has more to do with what other people can see than with what you experience. One could even say "typical autists" live more in a world of their own and therefore suffer less in terms of social awkwardness.

This is no rant, but there's a difference in how some people cope with their autism. This doesn't make the autism itself mild.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Eh. It goes in a bit of a circle.

I was having serious problems, and you might argue I use it as an excuse... But honestly, I wasn't diagnosed with anything, and just struggling most of my life to do things people seem to take for granted.

I don't trust the diagnosis I have, even though it says 'aspergers' on my medical records now...

And it's some people I knew that work supporting people with aspergers on a regular basis that kept telling me I showed a lot of the symptoms, and got someone to look into it.

Not that the diagnosis changes my life in the slightest either way. It doesn't help me to deal with the stuff I struggle with.

I was struggling... I'm still struggling. But now someone has given a name to something to do with why they think I'm struggling.

Whatever.

 

[000Ronald]

I'm a little bit conflicted. On one hand, I agree completely: I don't think people should diagnose themselves with anything (I've met self-diagnosed schizophrenics),people shouldn't use a mild disorder as an excuse to belittle and demean everyone they encounter, and I don't think it's a disease to be cured.

On the other hand...the girl posting seems overly aggressive to me. I don't know why exactly, but I feel like she's blaming me for a problem that isn't my fault, and one I don't know how to solve.

What's more, it bothers me that the thread almost instantly went from "stop being jerks" to "Aww, you have Aspergers? I do too!" Isn't that the opposite of what the OP was suggesting?

I've mentioned before [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/528.259671-Recommendation-To-Christians-From-a-Christian-And-To-Anyone-Else-Who-Wants-To-Join-In#9801902] the uselessness of preaching to the choir, but I'm not sure if it applies here.

And...I think that's all I have to say.

 

[S3Cs4uN 8]

2. Nor do I care for people who use it as an excuse to be assholes. Seriously, cut it out, you're giving us a bad name here. Also, it does not make us like the Rainman. Sorry to disappoint you.

I don't really ever recall seeing someone trying to use it as a reason to excuse their behavior.

neither have I

 

[S3Cs4uN 8]

I was diagnosed when I was 5.Something that I have learned is that Asperger's is common among family,inherited through example.Personally,I see it as a double edged sword.It has proven me with so many advantages and yet so many vexes.I used to want to be normal,to be stupid,as I thought most people were.Don't get me wrong.Now a days,that divider has proven useful in sorting out people as friends,but it just kills me.There are these speech classes that I had to take because I was different and its screwed with my head to where I can't think right anymore.If only everyone were like us.

if everyone was like us it wouldn't be interesting.

 

[S3Cs4uN 8]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Symdrome when I about 10, it's certainly isn't an excuse not to get a job or to be an asshole; I have the former and am certainly not the latter. I'm pretty socially awkward though I've improved a lot in the last couple of years as I've put a lot of effort into learning how to small-talk and socialise normally, I'll never be 100% "normal" but I've reached the point where I can have a regular conversation and make non-Aspergers friends.

Here's my advice to any other fellow Aspergers/Autistics:

PRACTISE!!! That's what you need to improve your social skills, I didn't believe it either before but now I've tried it isn't that difficult, by doing lots of social activites you can learn to overcome atleast some of barriers!

Well I must congratulate you in your success in overcoming that problem, Alas I seem to have done the polar opposite and become akin to as my counciler put it "a social event horizon" but I digress I enjoy the quiet it lets me think,
though to my dismay/surprise/confusion i actually got a girlfriend. (unsure why I added this.)

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Got diagnosed somewhere between 5 and 10, can't remember precisely when, along with AD/HD.

Trust me, being an autist is bad enough, but having the extreme misfortune to have AD/HD thrown into it too is an instant condemnation from ever being normal (not the "normal" you see in schools where 95% of the students are fuckwits who don't understand what rules are).

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Not self diagnosed autistic here.

I actually got diagnosed around the same time I got diagnosed with bipolar depression, when I was about 18. That was a fun set of therapy sessions.

I think, having met other people with autism, that I actually got off easy on this case. My autism has never been that much of an inpediment to me. I find it very hard to communicate with people face to face, but in terms of written and phone communication I've been told I do very well, which I attribute to my being almost incapable of reading facial expressions. Unless someone is crying, or screaming angrily, or laughing, I find it very hard to tell when people are emoting and what they're emoting.

The worst thing that I find is the double whammy of depression and autism, because it means that when I get a manic episode I get really over the top with, not sleeping for days on end and overdoing it with writing or movie watching or videogames. Of course when I then get depressive episodes my inability to communicate with people about my depression and the obssessive thinking that my autism gives me make it really hard.

Some people have told me that I'm very intelligent and have the ability to get very focused, which are potential other effects of Autism, but I've never been sure whether that was because of my condition or because I got my parent's brains. As far as I've ever been able to see, there haven't been many upsides to either of my conditions, and I while certainly wouldn't say that I'm horribly disadvantaged, (like with being an asshole, which I'm not), but I also have never seen a tangible benefit to it.

 

[Super Duck]

I have a friend who went through the opposite of the usual "I have Asperger's, leave me alone." situation. His mother has been convinced for years that he's autistic because he doesn't like his family and doesn't socialize much. It took years of both of us telling her that he doesn't like his family they treat him like shit and that he doesn't socialize because he simply doesn't want to. I still don't think she's convinced, but whatever...

 

[MisterGobbles]

Anyone else seeing how 3/4 of the escapist have some form of Autism?

Yeah, but probably the only ones commenting are the ones that have it; this is a big place after all.

I have autism, and I have been diagnosed for about 4 years. I don't like it when people talk about a cure, because to me it feels like a cure for being a certain nationality, or a cure for being a certain way. I don't see where people get off saying that people like us are "weird" because we're "different." In fact, I saw a statistic that said that about 65% of Americans "suffer" from some form of mental "disability" such as schizo, autistic, OCD, or depression. wouldn't that make us the normal ones, and everyone else the weird ones? We are the majority!

Also, its nice to see other people like me.

The world will be wonderful when we can find a way for people to stop being born with serious conditions, but if there was an option to cure a disorder like autism after they had already developed it, it would probably change your personallity completely. You wouldn't be you anymore. Whether or not that's a bad thing is subject to opinion.

All of that stuff is overdiagnosed anyway and they all have extremely variable levels of severity.

 

[scorptatious]

I was diagnosed when I was just a toddler. According to my parents, I used to be a big talker, and then I suddenly just stopped. After I was diagnosed, my parents did everything they could to help me. They read to me, hired aides to come over to help me learn social skills, and they held me back a year before allowing me to start school.

Even when I did start talking again, I still had some bad habits that came with Autism. I walked around in circles, I said the same thing over and over again, and I get freaked out over very minor things. Of course at the time, I thought I was normal, and I had plenty of friends.

Later on though, as I grew older, I became self-aware of myself and my condition. I don't know what happened, but I suddenly found it difficult to talk to people and break some of the habits I had. It didn't help that I had anger issues and some form of paranoia that came along with it. As a result, through most of my middle school and some of my high school years, I was hostile towards others, assuming that they are out to get me. I would go into the library to read instead of hanging out and talking with other people. Looking back at it know, I'm not really happy with the way I acted. Since then however, I have gotten better.

Part of me wishes that I never had autism, that I could be normal and stop second guessing myself when it comes to social situations. At the same time however, if I was never born with autism, I likely wouldn't have the same personality, interests, and views as I do now. Through having autism, I've learned to practice humility, to respect towards others who are different, (Even if they bug the shit out of me), and to be kind to others. I don't want people to shun me or isolate me just because I'm different. So why should I do that to them?

 

[zhoominator]

I was professionally diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism only 7 years ago (I'm now 27), but I think I also have aspergers. For the most part I'm perfectly fine. I just have terrible short-term memory, I think/work VERY slowly and I am slightly eccentric. While those symptoms DO make it very hard for me to find work, I do believe that it gives me an upper hand with my artwork which I seem to be gifted with doing.

I have never used Aspergers (assuming I have it, and I'm fairly certain I do) as an excuse to not get jobs.

I'm curious of how you you seem to be sure you have AS when you were diagnosed with High functioning autism. Forgetting for the moment that AS is also considered on the spectrum making it fairly impossible to be on two points of the same spectrum at the same time (it'd be like me saying I think I may be low functioning as well as high functioning), there are so many similarities between the two that most people can't even tell/don't understand the difference anyway.

While I'm no expert, the things you mention seem to be more on the side of HFA than AS (the short term memory especially, people wit AS tend to have lacking but not awful short term memory).

But considering the similarity of the two conditions, you'll probably run into most of the same issues anyway.