An ethical question involving adoption
- Thread starter Vault101
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People adjust. I doubt that a child would be so maladjusted that they couldn't get used to the idea of new guardians. Not to mention by early teenage years, maturity is starting to develop. The child wouldn't be as dependent on their parents for emotional support and stability at 13 or 14 as opposed to a much younger age between 5 and 10. Hell, you get some minors in their early teens who are more independent than people in their late teens.4li3n said:
The child is a minor. All rights reside with any guardian(s). A crime was committed when the child was kidnapped and deserves the full force of the law. It will be up to the court to decide how lenient the sentencing should be.
This is a difficult one... In my opinion, yes justice needs to be served, but the emotional needs of the child also need to be taken into consideration. If removing the child from the home enviroment it has been raised in by the kidnapper and thrust into a new life with the biological parents, then this could potentially cause severe emotional trauma and not be the best thing to do.
However, the kidnapper has also obviously committed a serious crime which can't go unpunished, but if the punishment is going to be detrimental to the child's wellbeing, then is that actually justice and is it fair?
Personally, I don't think it is.
However, the kidnapper has also obviously committed a serious crime which can't go unpunished, but if the punishment is going to be detrimental to the child's wellbeing, then is that actually justice and is it fair?
Personally, I don't think it is.
The fact of that matter is what the kidnappers did in the first place was wrong and selfish, and now it has only come back to hurt the child a second time. All the more reason it never should have been done. Is it right that the kidnapper gets to be selfish enough to steal a child and lie to them? No. Can we stop the child from loving the kidnapper? No. All told there is no happy ending here. Justice must be served. Some people held to accounts. What happens after that is a personal matter.
As many people have already said I think the child should have a say in things. At 13/14 a person is legally responsible for their own actions and so they should have a say as to what happens to them regardless of what the law says. The kidnapper acted wrongly but brought the child up perfectly fine where as unfortunately although the biological parents legally have rights they actually don't know the child at all.
I'd definately say that fobidding contact is the wrong way about things. The child might resent both the kiddnapper and the real parents if things aren't handled well.
I'd hate to have to be the judge on this situation... Either way someone loses...
I'd definately say that fobidding contact is the wrong way about things. The child might resent both the kiddnapper and the real parents if things aren't handled well.
I'd hate to have to be the judge on this situation... Either way someone loses...
I didn't say the child in question would be "fine", nor did i say that i would be if i were in his or her shoes. I said that the child would adjust, and so would i. Yes, it's going to be an uncomfortable adjustment, but it's not going to traumatise someone. Being sexually assaulted as a child by your parents is trauma inducing. Not going to live with your biological parents. Going to an extreme of "you're either perfectly one hundred per cent happy and fine with it" or "you're going to struggle to come to terms with it forever" seems outright ridiculous to me. Why can't people just say that while it will be hard, yes, it will also be overcome? The "deal with it" image comes to mind. Because ultimately, people will "deal with it" in the end. It just won't come easy. I know at least that by age 13 to 14 i didn't depend on my parents' love and adoration anywhere near to the degree i would have done as a pre-teen or very young child. It's nice to have, but really, by that age you should be starting to develop a sense of agency and independence about your life. The fact you are legally responsible for your own actions by that age demonstrates that maturity is already onset.HankMan said:
This right here is where the idealists lose all credibility. Now i'm not picking on you specifically, i certainly appreciate the sentiment of "whatever is morally right", but the law always has the final say and the second you try to disregard that your argument is invalid. The law is the law, end of story. It might not be great for all involved, but that's the way it is and that's the way society works. If you have a problem with it, take it up with the court of appeal.LostTimeLady said:
personally i think at 13-14 the kid should get to choose. assess both families too make such both are suitable for a child and then give the child all the facts and let them decide on where to live. maybe let them go into foster care or something.
cause the kidnapper is a kidnapper and the biologicals are strangers.
cause the kidnapper is a kidnapper and the biologicals are strangers.
I actually remember watching that miniseries. And, if I remember correctly, the child wasn't really kidnapped. Rather, the familty lost her on the beach one day through negligence, and the one who found her couldn't find the parents, so took care of the child.
I'm rather boggled that most people find it horrible to take a child away from its kidnapper. That it's 'collateral' when the law punishes said kidnapper. Uh.... I would say its acceptable collateral in this situation. That is not their parent. They were STOLEN. And once their child-mind has realized the reality of the situation, they will come to accept their true parents. This is also why all children in this situation receive counseling.
And since people are pulling the snarky, "if it happened to you" card: I think I would be fine, eventually, after receiving counseling for my situation, and glad that it hadn't turned out worse.
And since people are pulling the snarky, "if it happened to you" card: I think I would be fine, eventually, after receiving counseling for my situation, and glad that it hadn't turned out worse.
What you guys are seeming to forget is that, in kidnapping cases, the person being kidnapped is not the only victim. Not only did this person take an infant from her biological parents, and craft this child into something entirely different than the birth parents would have done, she did something far worse. She took, from the birth parents, evey milestone that could possibly have been had with their child. The actual parents were robbed of hearing that child's first words, seeing the child's first steps, etc...
"But, the kidnapper was a good mother." Bullshit, and completely irrelevant. The kidnapper based this child's entire lifeupon a singular lie, that was repeated to the point that the child was mind raped into believing it, even when the light of truth was shone in her face.
What do I think should be done? Frankly, I believe that cases like this are why Capital Punishment should never be taken off of the books. What that kidnapper did, in my opinion, was worse than rape.
"But, the kidnapper was a good mother." Bullshit, and completely irrelevant. The kidnapper based this child's entire lifeupon a singular lie, that was repeated to the point that the child was mind raped into believing it, even when the light of truth was shone in her face.
What do I think should be done? Frankly, I believe that cases like this are why Capital Punishment should never be taken off of the books. What that kidnapper did, in my opinion, was worse than rape.
Firstly, stop with the 'inconvenient truth' rhetoric, it really isn't acceptable in this sort of discussion. I made it clear that I feel that the child's mental health takes priority over anything else in this situation. I never once said that anyone should ignore the truth.Dulcinea said:
Secondly, people have debates to try reach some sort of mutual conclusion about what is the correct/acceptable answer/outcome/solution/e.t.c. for situations that actually matter. Situations like this do happen, and people will have to make these sorts of decisions. No, not all debates end with any sort of conclusion, but more than enough do for it be worth it. There is almost no point in broadcasting your opinion on anything if you're just going to retreat behind 'we have different views' defence every time your opinion is challenged.