An Impromptu Witcher Lets Play - now with the Witcher 2!

[Bara_no_Hime]

The voice acting in the first Witcher game is woeful, and Geralt himself is one of the worst offenders. The dubious translation quality doesn't help either. It's not the worst voice acted game in recent memory (that honor would probably go to the original Guild Wars) but it's pretty goddam bad. The second game cleans it up significantly. Geralt still has the same droning, cheesy "noir" delivery but it's improved enough that it's almost charmingly stupid, instead of distractingly stupid.

Actually, I was thinking about this on my drive to work (I'm at work now).

Geralt reminds me of Mr. Bean.

A low fantasy sword-mage Mr. Bean, but yeah. One thing I did like was that Triss clearly seduced HIM. I got the impression that Geralt was supposed to be this "lady killer" seducer, but instead he seems kinda dopy.

Geralt: "Um, I'm glad you're okay Triss. You seem nice."
Triss: "Geralt... fuck me. Now."
Geralt: "Um... okay."

It didn't really hit me until the conversation with the Inn Keeper. He says "we don't serve your type" and Geralt just stands there looking dopy and like he might have forgotten why he was there. The inn keeper is inexplicably intimidated by Geralt's dopy Mr. Bean stare, and suddenly relents. At the time it felt off, but in retrospect it's actually pretty hilarious.

I kind of like the idea that Geralt is brain-damaged and that everyone just remembers the super-bad-ass he used to be and automatically assumes he's still that person, when instead he just goes around doing whatever anyone tells him to.

Maybe Geralt will change later in the game and reclaim himself, but for now, in my eyes, he is Mr. Bean. And I'm strangely okay with that.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Protip: If you aren't fighting a boss, or a strong enemy, just keep doing the spin attack. Just over and over and over.

... spin attack?

You may need to explain how I do that. As I said, I only just reached the first town before I had to save and call it quits until later.

 

[flarty]

Civ V + Gods and Kings.

9 hours in one sitting i played that for the other night i uninstalled it never to be installed again

 

[DarklordKyo]

The fire sign is considered a game breaker, you don't need to get better swords, the courier quest to someone in Vizima can be lost forever, etc.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

oh the Witcher. I've so many thoughts on that game. For a buck? Totally worth it.
The playing cards are just a little creepy, maybe moreso because they were merely censored for the U.S release. Imagine. We're fine treating relationships as disposable pleasure (Geralt seems to with most), but the first sight of bare bosoms throws the censors into a tizzy. Still, if you can look past that there's a lot in the game.

I'm playing the "Enhanced Edition Director's Cut" from Good Old Games. On the card, Triss had a blanked over her breasts, and a black cat sitting in front of... well, I should think that was obvious. Does that mean I have the censored version?

Also, since you bring it up, does that mean that the Witcher 2 is also censored in the USA?

My advice would be mostly to ignore the Witchery side quests. The story's actually quite compelling, and a lot of the mini arcs have their own pile of twists and turns. Not everything you're told should be taken at face value. Which makes the odd character animations and Geralt's bored voice actor stand out more than they should. Really think before you pick a side though. There are some fun consequences for it.

Which side quests are the Witchery side quests?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Geralt reminds me of Mr. Bean.

Poor Geralt.

A low fantasy sword-mage Mr. Bean, but yeah. One thing I did like was that Triss clearly seduced HIM.

Although Witcher got a lot of (deserved) flak for those reprehensible trading cards, it's not really a particularly "sexist" game. The primary female characters tend to positively ooze agency and competence. There are some lamentable damsel in distress moments in the second game, but at no point are the characters ever presented as feeble or incapable, just unlucky.

The sexuality/objectification stuff appears to stem from Eastern Europe's more relaxed attitude towards sex. They continue to feel the furor over it is a result of North American puritanism as opposed to any actual flaw with the games themselves.

 

[norashepard]

Protip: If you aren't fighting a boss, or a strong enemy, just keep doing the spin attack. Just over and over and over.

... spin attack?

You may need to explain how I do that. As I said, I only just reached the first town before I had to save and call it quits until later.

I have no idea how to do it (I played the game literally five years ago), but I seem to remember it's the third attack style? Group style I believe it was called. You might also have to go find a sword used with that style too before you can use it. BUT it is very helpful against practically every group of enemies. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Captcha: Yes, ma'am.
At ease, Captcha.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

The fire sign is considered a game breaker, you don't need to get better swords, the courier quest to someone in Vizima can be lost forever, etc.

Agni is the fire sign, correct? I tried to level it up, but apparently I have to find it first. Any suggestion as to where that would be? It looked like a pretty cool spell (it lets you throw your sword, right?).

 

[The White Hunter]

Well GreenManGaming basically slammed my head into the table until I pre-ordered BioShock Infinite by giving me THREE other games for free and a 30% discount.

So yeah, that happened, and BioShock Infinite kicks ass even though I wanted nothing to do with it!

 

[Something Amyss]

2) Discussion (or stories) about times when Good Old Games or Steam has had a sale and you bought a game you didn't want to play just because it was cheap (and then ended up playing it).

I don't get why this is a thing. Now, a good sale can certainly tip me to buying something I'm on the fence on. Steam's sales get me to gamble on a game I might not buy at full price, but the thing is I've already got some interest and the intent to try it.

I don't get the "it's only a dollar" mentality. Well, if it's a dollar I wouldn't pay, why should I pay it? If it's a dollar on something I want, and it normally cost more, great/ If it's a dollar for something that I might enjoy, also great. But a dollar for something I have no interest in or plans to use?

This makes no sense to me.

 

[8bitsuperhero]

I had no real interest in the Tropico series, I just wasn't into the whole run a banana republic thing (that and I'm not fond of that type of game). However, Steam had a sale on the series where it was like five dollars for Tropico 4, so I decided to give it a go. It's actually quite fun.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Although Witcher got a lot of (deserved) flak for those reprehensible trading cards, it's not really a particularly "sexist" game. The primary female characters tend to positively ooze agency and competence.
The sexuality/objectification stuff appears to stem from Eastern Europe's more relaxed attitude towards sex. They continue to feel the furor over it is a result of North American puritanism as opposed to any actual flaw with the games themselves.

Well, I'm VERY anti-prude, as you well know. I still find the card collecting distasteful. I'd much rather have a full on Rated NC-17 level sex scene. That is honestly less prudish - nudey cards are part of that whole "hiding sex" thing that was popular in the 50s.

Perhaps he will understand that what you are referring to isn't a collectible card minigame?

She (I'm a woman) is aware. As noted in a post near the top, the card collecting is one reason I've resisted playing this game for so long.

I have no idea how to do it (I played the game literally five years ago), but I seem to remember it's the third attack style? Group style I believe it was called. You might also have to go find a sword used with that style too before you can use it. BUT it is very helpful against practically every group of enemies. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Oh! Group style! Huh... I wonder if that would have helped vs those wolf monsters.

So you're saying I should spam group style when at all possible. Okay, so noted.

 

[Robetid]

Yea, there is a bit of reason to the madness when you understand the way the books were when looking at the strangly in-your-face sex stuff in the game. There was an arguement about it like a month ago, it's kinda just the way the world is in the witcher. Some parts kinda get repetitive in the game coz the art was a little bland, nothing was really eye-popping. Don't let that stuff deter you. The story was really cool and a bit different than other games of the genre and wasn't afraid to touch on some very real issues and is definately worth a playthrough. Tips? Don't forget sword/combat style combonations and what theyre for when fighting stuff and what mutagens are best used in those situations, and also not every fight is to the death, back out and regroup if you have to. Enjoy!

 

[Ushiromiya Battler]

Actually, I was thinking (what with all the talk of female protagonists) that I'd love to see the people who made the Witcher make a game with a female protagonist (the Witch, perhaps?). They could go ahead and make her bi so she could have sex with both male and female characters. That way the uncomfortable male players could stick with lesbian sex if they chose, and other players could choose whomever they wanted to get frisky with.

I don't see why they couldn't.
4 or 5 of the books is about a female witcher/enchantress Geralt is raising, so they could probably make a few games about her

 

[DarksideFlame]

1) Any advice for a first time Witcher player? Things to do? Avoid? Funny stories about your first time?

My advice for you is to stop playing because it's one of the absolute worst games I have ever played. According to Steam, I've played it for 64 hours and I still haven't come close to finishing it nor was it a very enjoyable experience either.
The only thing I remember from all that time I wasted on it is finding out that all the interesting characters, difficult choices and complexity the game promised me was a lie.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Well GreenManGaming basically slammed my head into the table until I pre-ordered BioShock Infinite by giving me THREE other games for free and a 30% discount.

So yeah, that happened, and BioShock Infinite kicks ass even though I wanted nothing to do with it!

I've been hearing lots of good stuff about it. I've added it to my Wish List for this summer.

I don't get why this is a thing. Now, a good sale can certainly tip me to buying something I'm on the fence on. Steam's sales get me to gamble on a game I might not buy at full price, but the thing is I've already got some interest and the intent to try it.
This makes no sense to me.

In this case, because the game is so beloved by its following. Certain aspects of its reputation pissed me off (although it is turning out that some of those issues are undeserved... others are, but we'll see).

So, at a mere dollar, I was willing to take a risk and see if it was good or not. Even if it sucked, it was only one dollar lost, and bitching rights gained.

Also... I believe I'm waiting on a reply to a PM I sent you.

I had no real interest in the Tropico series, I just wasn't into the whole run a banana republic thing (that and I'm not fond of that type of game). However, Steam had a sale on the series where it was like five dollars for Tropico 4, so I decided to give it a go. It's actually quite fun.

Huh. Never heard of that one. Sounds kinda like Sim City meets Just Cause 2, but with the player on the other side of things.

 

[The White Hunter]

Well GreenManGaming basically slammed my head into the table until I pre-ordered BioShock Infinite by giving me THREE other games for free and a 30% discount.

So yeah, that happened, and BioShock Infinite kicks ass even though I wanted nothing to do with it!

I've been hearing lots of good stuff about it. I've added it to my Wish List for this summer.

It's really really good but if you get it on PC make sure to plug in a controller and turn off the obnoxious auto-aim becuase it affects your mouse controls ¬_¬ was not amused.

Also, your avatar changed!! I didn't recognise you! DD: