An irritating start to my tuesday.

[Torrasque]

Hello fellow Escapists, how are you today.
I was having a fine tuesday until this rather ridiculous event happened to me. "What event?" you inquire? Well I shall tell you.

While eating my lunch today and listening to Trolololo 800% slower (so very soothing for some reason...) I decided to catch up with a friend of mine that I lost touch with in the last few months. So I text her "hey, whats up?". 5 minutes go by, and as I am beginning to think she is ignoring me, she texts back, "what the hell? you don't talk to me for months and then you text me as if I am supposed to just pretend we're still friends? you don't give a damn about me". At first I was surprised at her sudden hostility but my logical brain kicked in and noticed something, "what do you mean I haven't talked to you in months? you haven't done anything to talk to me either! it is completely retarded to expect me to start and carry on a conversation, and then get mad at me when I don't do it."
I then got the deafening "whatever" and realized it was pointless to try and talk to her. She must either be having a bad day, or I did something to offend her that I can't remember anything about.

While still fuming about how ridiculous she was being, I realized something: most people I know as acquaintances or friends, only talk to me when I start the conversation. Some of them I talk to on a daily basis, but most of them on a weekly/monthly basis. I've always had few friends (I have no need of hundreds of friends), but it is ridiculous that some of the people I consider friends to expect me to be the one that tries to continue any kind of friendship. It is like getting mad at someone for not making bread, when you yourself never make bread.

So for discussion value, has this sort of thing ever happened to you? Do you know anyone that doesn't behave anything like a real friend should? Do you like your left shoe more than your right?

 

[Saladfork]

I lose touch with people all the time.

Mostly because I have nothing to say.
I've spoken to people I haven't said a word to in years over teh inturwebz and I've never gotten that kind of reaction, though. Usually they're a lot more friendly.

 

[Esotera]

All the time..I'm not exactly the most sociable person though. I'll attempt to initiate conversation about once a fortnight with people I care about though, just so they don't have any excuse to react like that (works wonders if they accuse you of not caring, because typically they don't reply/don't start a decent conversation).

 

[FURY_007]

I've been going through a situation currently that's been.....annoying and disappointing and almost enraging all at the same time. Basically my ex-roommate and I have been really close friends since middle school, we went to different high schools so we lost touch a little bit but still hung out a good amount and what not. At anyrate, College rolled around, we're going to the same university, freshmen yea I lived in the dorms and he commuted, then at the end of the year and for the ext year we moved into an apartment together and it was awesome. At the end of the summer one of his friends moved in the same building with her fiance and so it was like cool, the more the merrier, and she introduced me to my ex, which was awesome, even though we had to work out some issues where we'd hardly get any alone time, but whatever. Last summer, my friend moved out, and into a singe apartment down the hall, for whatever fucking reason, still not sure, but his parents I think have something to do with it cause they're paying for it, I'm not sure, that's a whole different story. After that one of his friends who I met though him moved in, which was cool cause I liked him also. So whatever, we still hung out, had a good time, whatever, even though he is whipped to her for whatever reason, like it's almost uncomfortable, and again there's another story, fuckin weird. At any rate MY MAIN POINT TO THIS STORY FOR THOSE WHO ARE THINKING TLR is since before Christmas, they've just been kinda dicks to me, and my roommate as well. We would clearly hear the two of them hanging out through his balcony door at his place (he kept it open cause he smokes inside)if me or my roommate were walking in from the parking lot, and so I would text them saying hey whatsup? or wanna hang out? and such. and I won't get a response, there's been more than one occasion where either me and/ or my roommate have knocked on his door and they've just gone quiet, not even answering the door or anything. It's gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore, it pisses me off just thinking about it. This shit's been going on for the last 3 months, like I've seen my "best friend" once in the past 2 weeks, even though he lives like 10 feet from me. If it only affected me I'd be fine, cause I've been hanging out with my 40k group more, but they do this shit to my roommate also, which thy were good friends from high school. Sorry this turned out to be so long, I started ranting lol

 

[Vault101]

this is kind of how I drift away from people....not initating conversation

I started my tuesday rather depressed

I was bored and I had an album that I loved ruined for me by bad reveiws (its complicated)

but then I went to a comic book store in my area that I previously didnt know about and I had a "OMGTHISISAWSOME" overload moment...they had everything (and the 1#'s of trade paperbacks!!!) aslo posters...I got an awsoem retro spiderman one

I need to to calm down

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

I noticed this with a few friends, and I quickly stopped bothering to contact them.

I'm ok with drifting apart, because, when I think about it objectively...they just weren't that great as friends anyway. The friends I still see, and the friends I have since acquired are a lot better at the give-and-take side of things. Everything is more amicable, it's nicer to share your existence with these kinds of people.

 

[Kae]

Nope, that never happened to me, it was almost backwards, they contacted me and I only gave a few rather evasive answers, and they kept trying until they just got tired and stopped yeah now I have no friends, but it's my fault and I know that so it isn't that big a deal, well except when I'm feeling either in a good enough mood to go out in an adventure and want to invite someone just to realize there is no one, or you know when I'm feeling pretty bad there's really no one around that I can talk to, not that it matter even when I had them near I didn't tell them because asking for help is quite frankly really embarrassing.
[sub]Hey, my Tuesday got ruined to but because of something else, probably much more stupid though.[/sub]

 

[daveman247]

You say "she".
.
.
Theres your answer, who knows man.

As for people who only talk to you after you talk to them, i dunno. Sounds like you need new friends because something has obviously gone a bit off here :/

Then again i dont know who you are, and there can be a lot of reasons for this.

General lack of mutual interests is usually the #1 reason, or personality clashes.

^^ i usually drop these friends fairly quickly, mundane "how was our day" and "the weather" can only go so far.

Going to uni was by far the hardest. Literally had to restart the social chain. The first week was weird. Luckily uni has a great deal more variation of peoples than any i have seen before

 

[Lionsfan]

I've had that happen to me before. A friend of mine got really really drunk one night and called me to yell at me for never talking to him anymore in like a year. He was completely ignoring the fact that he A) still had my number, so B) could have called me anytime he wanted, but chose not to.

Sometimes people are weird

 

[Bernzz]

Hah. Sounds like a friend I had. She was one of my best friends, and my girlfriend's too. She knew my girlfriend for longer than she knew me. A few months ago she went batshit bonkers and decided to hang out permanently with different people and ignore us entirely.

After a few more insanity episodes, my girlfriend finally tried to contact her. She responded with "You never talk to me anymore, it's obvious you don't wanna be friends." This is after my girlfriend trying to talk to her several freaking times. And she kept on repeating the same, wrong, things. So we gave up and she's no longer our friend.

In other news, she's now hanging out with one girl who basically orders her around and who my ex-friend looks up to. This girl will eventually get bored of my ex-friend, and then she'll have no friends (seriously, she only hangs out with this one girl).

She's also going out with the guy who cheated on her, and who messes with her already unstable mind and constantly pushes his boundaries to see how much she'll let him get away with.

I'm just gonna say, I think we (girlfriend and I) got the better deal in this.

/rant

 

[Jedoro]

Yeah, I got that a lot. When I see someone's not even trying to keep in touch, I just let 'em go. They obviously don't actually care, and I'm okay with not having them around.

Course, I don't have much to say, anyways, but I just think a lot of things aren't important enough to say.

 

[Torrasque]

SNIP CUZ TL;DR

lol, I'm jk.
I didn't mind your story, I've always been interested in the problems of others, no matter how menial they themselves think they are

 

[Scarim Coral]

I agreed, why is it me well us that have to start the conversation all the time?

 

[GundamSentinel]

Do you know anyone that doesn't behave anything like a real friend should?

Are you kidding me, I hardly know anyone who behaves like a real friend should.

To me, most friends seem to be a commodity with a time limit. After a while there just isn't any contact anymore. I always end up being the one trying to keep contact, but in the end I grow tired because people just won't make time anymore to be a friend. To just come over or talk. They promise to contact me, but they never do. Some people I haven't seen for close to a year, but have been very good friends before that just seem to look for excuses not to have any contact anymore. Still, if they don't care anymore, why should I care?

 

[FamoFunk]

I only talk to people when they text me or approach me first, unless I *really* need to get in contact with them.

I never used to be like this, but I just gave up on the one making effort, I probably come across as an arsehole to a lot of people because of it, so be it.

But everyone I'm friends with are OK with this, they know I'm not just being a dick, I just also feel unconformable starting to conversation because I feel like I'm annoying the person.

 

[michael87cn]

Hello fellow Escapists, how are you today.
I was having a fine tuesday until this rather ridiculous event happened to me. "What event?" you inquire? Well I shall tell you.

While eating my lunch today and listening to Trolololo 800% slower (so very soothing for some reason...) I decided to catch up with a friend of mine that I lost touch with in the last few months. So I text her "hey, whats up?". 5 minutes go by, and as I am beginning to think she is ignoring me, she texts back, "what the hell? you don't talk to me for months and then you text me as if I am supposed to just pretend we're still friends? you don't give a damn about me". At first I was surprised at her sudden hostility but my logical brain kicked in and noticed something, "what do you mean I haven't talked to you in months? you haven't done anything to talk to me either! it is completely retarded to expect me to start and carry on a conversation, and then get mad at me when I don't do it."
I then got the deafening "whatever" and realized it was pointless to try and talk to her. She must either be having a bad day, or I did something to offend her that I can't remember anything about.

While still fuming about how ridiculous she was being, I realized something: most people I know as acquaintances or friends, only talk to me when I start the conversation. Some of them I talk to on a daily basis, but most of them on a weekly/monthly basis. I've always had few friends (I have no need of hundreds of friends), but it is ridiculous that some of the people I consider friends to expect me to be the one that tries to continue any kind of friendship. It is like getting mad at someone for not making bread, when you yourself never make bread.

So for discussion value, has this sort of thing ever happened to you? Do you know anyone that doesn't behave anything like a real friend should? Do you like your left shoe more than your right?

Those aren't friends. Friends care about each other. Those are acquaintances. I know exactly what you mean, though and I sympathize. People often times just use each other, but when push comes to shove . . . *poof* not there for you.

I considered it a waste of my time a long time ago, to bother with people who only "listen" and never put any of their thoughts out there. They're just using you, letting you be the one giving the "fun" to the friendship. You can call them "yeah-yeah-yeah'ers" because that's all they do.

Real friends are very hard to come by. Some people never get a real friend.