Anal probing - What's the point?

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Kaboose the Moose

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Feb 15, 2009
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Boneasse said:
Why do you think aliens would anally probe anyone? What would be the point of such an act? What could they possibly gain by doing so?
Ok, I'll bite!

Perhaps they are doing an intergalactic survey to see which inhabitants of which star-systems have the lowest (or highest..depends on motive really) cases of anal fissure or polyp formations. It could also be that we are a niche demographic for hemorrhoid cream testing for an alien species. Oooh, or maybe they have an incontinence fetish and want to test us to choose the best bowel unstable sex-puppets?

Alternatively, they may just want to collect and catalog stool samples from everyone they encounter..for shits![footnote]Bah-Dum-Tish!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou..I'll be here all week folks! Try the veal...[/footnote]
 

Subzerowings

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May 1, 2009
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Let me anwer your question with another question: "If you saw a cow for the first time, what would be the point of pulling on her four long nipples?"
Perhaps our bums have mystical powers!
 

Kakashi on crack

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Boneasse said:
G'day Escapists!
Why do you think aliens would anally probe anyone? What would be the point of such an act? What could they possibly gain by doing so?
I'm surprised they aren't probing our oceans since that would be the most scientifically decent thing they could probably do...

Right, back to the topic. I beleive that certain technology is desgined to maybe collect bacteria, or possibly to find certain information. Perhaps its like south park and they are installing a television device in their behind. Maybe it's just for kicks =D

Weeeellll... For those who have played Destroy All Humans, the anal probe was a special weapon that litterally made people's heads explode and gave extra DNA samples!

In all actuality, I'm sure they had a good reason, testing, gathering information, a one night stand..
 

Kaboose the Moose

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Subzerowings said:
Let me anwer your question with another question: "If you saw a cow for the first time, what would be the point of pulling on her four long nipples?"
Perhaps our bums have mystical powers!
You are not suggesting that aliens are trying to milk us from our butts are you?

.
.
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Coz that's not milk...
 

gellert1984

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Apr 16, 2009
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Well since aliens inevitably seem to visit southern USA I'd guess they scanned the head thinking the brains there, but found so little function they're having to look elsewhere. Since you're ass is at the other end of your spine it logically follows as a possible position for a secondary brain.
 

Doomsday11

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Apr 15, 2010
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Always thought it was to do with the Victorians views of sexuality and probing someones arse(especially a man's)was seen as evil and alien.
 

GonzoGamer

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Apr 9, 2008
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Boneasse said:
So this begs the question;

Why do you think aliens would anally probe anyone? What would be the point of such an act?


You've obviously never raped anyone.
 

Fraught

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Aug 2, 2008
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Deep space is cold, man. Peoples' asses are warm.

Why else do they stick thermometers up there?
 

LoonShia

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Nov 23, 2008
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The point of anal probing? Use enough lube.

As has been suggested, the aliens probably don't know enough about human biology, and would presume that the (structurally) most central (and best hidden away) orifice would be the most important.
 

WhamBamSam

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Oct 29, 2009
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This Cracked article gives as good an explanation as any as to why the myth exists.

If aliens actually were abducting people and engaging in this sort of behavior, I'd guess that they did it for fun. Should humanity discover the warp drive, you can bet that there will be a couple of deviants doing the same thing to the inhabitants of less advanced planets.
 

higgs20

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Feb 16, 2010
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Lord Kloo said:
Its fun...??...

I don't see the point in it but i'm sure they do it to implant some device that causes your poop (I can't spell faeses apparently) to mutate when in contact with water and releases chemicals that slowly terraform the planet they poached you from to favour alien life forms...

Too Far..?
dear god...has someone alerted the government?