Angry gamer bites neighbour's penis

[HardkorSB]

http://metro.co.uk/2013/10/18/gamer-who-bit-neighbours-penis-like-a-sandwich-in-xbox-row-jailed-for-seven-years-4151146/

Haven't seen this one here so here it is.
Basically, some guy was playing on his xbox, neighbour asked him if he could turn down the volume so he bit him in the dick

Any thoughts?

 

[krazykidd]

There is no way this is true. Even if it is , i refuse to believe it.

 

[Clowndoe]

XD

How can I make a constructive comment while I'm losing my shit?

It's kind of annoying that whoever wrote the article identified the guy as "Gamer." Although it kind of looks like he's going out of his way to make us look bad, I'm sure there's no malice inteded.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

"I tells ya, this is what happens when you let gays and liberals play those damned videogames! They're so hungry for penis they'll find any excuse to bite one."

-FOX News

 

[lacktheknack]

Tags: "Ouch"

Nothing else.

I cannot say anything about this with a straight face, be it from horrified laughter or grimacing sympathy pains. D:

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Who else here thinks this is a great way of harbinging the imminent zombie outbreak?

 

[MrSir231]

I can't wait until Fox News gets a hold of this story.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

First of all, lets be correct: it wasn't an Xbox row. It was a stereo row. And I for one am fully on the side of the guy doing the biting, danged noise police deserve whatever they get

But seriously, I doubt this is real, and if it is we're not getting the whole story. Either there was a fight which culminated in a bite to an embarrassing area, or there's some sexual aspect we're not hearing about, or the guy doing the biting had dwarfism, or something. You don't just go straight for the penis when someone starts a fight with you. Not with your teeth, anyway.

 

[MammothBlade]

7 years is a bit much. And, considering he only had 2 teeth anyway... that must have been funny.

 

[Remaiki]

I particularly like the title the reporter has given it - apparently, he bit his member like a sandwich. Tasty.
(I'm sorry for that comment and feel dirty)

 

[Zhukov]

So... just like that?

DIdn't punch him, didn't shove him, didn't headbutt him?

Just leaned right on in and started chowing down huh?

Wow.

 

[FabTails]

XD

How can I make a constructive comment while I'm losing my shit?

Ha, genital mutilation and assault are funny! Ha-ha!

 

[blaqknoise]

Creative, I guess.

I'm not entirely sure this is true though...

 

[Rylot]

From the article: "A jury found Martin guilty of wounding with intent. The judge added a further year to his sentence for dangerous driving." Duh wha? Article lacking details has details lacking. Any one have a better article that actually has the whole story?

 

[Easton Dark]

We all thought dick-punching was the least honorable way it could go in a surprise attack.

This is a brave new world we are all facing.

 

[Laser Priest]

XD

How can I make a constructive comment while I'm losing my shit?

Ha, genital mutilation and assault are funny! Ha-ha!

Yes, let's not laugh at utterly ridiculous stories.

Instead let's taunt people in a sarcastic, condescending manner! Of course!

OT: I can honestly say this is not something I expected to see today.

And clearly this man is off his rocker in more ways than one.

Plus, if he think the one being humiliated here is the one who didn't make a conscious effort to bite a man's genitals, I think he's got a very distorted idea of how people work.

 

[Sarge034]

How the fuck did the dude even get to the guy's dick? Did he pants the guy first or does he have some Jaws shit goin on?

Spoiler: Not the Jaws you were thinking of...

was it?

We need a better story to come out as this one seems to be lacking quite a bit of info, but if the story is true... ouch.

 

[idarkphoenixi]

How well can you actually chew on something if you only have two teeth?

I want to understand the guys mindset - "I'm so mad at you, I'm gonna bite your cock! Oh-ho-ho, you're gonna be so sorry!"

 

[DudeistBelieve]

XD

How can I make a constructive comment while I'm losing my shit?

Ha, genital mutilation and assault are funny! Ha-ha!

Well isn't the extreme escalation of violence funny?

Guy: Pardon me sir, can you turn you TV volume done?
Attack: *Dives For His Crotch*
Guy: Oh my this taken a turn!