Angry mom sends letter to family of autistic child telling them to have him euthanized.

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

But it does seem like the parents are a little oblivious to the needs of their special needs child.

Er...the only source you've got from that advocates harvesting the organs of kids she doesn't like.

Now, not saying that makes her wrong on everything, but it sorta raises a little doubt about her judgement.

Completely fair and true. She could have made the whole thing up. But if the child's parents are leaving him outside, alone and unsupervised and something/anything terrifies the kid...
again the child is not to blame. Bad parenting is. One or both parents should be with the special needs child almost constantly.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Snip

the mother(grandmother?) wrote a response letter that hopefully made the original letter writer feel like a douchebag. The important part of her letter was that the noise the kid makes while outside, that's them being happy.

I look after someone with a disability and when he gets really excited about something or really happy he will yell and scream. He isn't doing it to be an asshole, he is doing it because he cant talk so he lets everyone know by yelling. Granted if we are in a restaurant and he wont settle down after a bit I will take him outside to calm him down, but if we are already outside then anyone who complains will get a nice big "go fuck yourself" from me.

Awesome! And I'm not being sarcastic, truly if the sounds the child is making are ones of joy, that's great. I was worried it wasn't. that something had scared the child or he wanted attention and the parents were ignoring him. Like they just let the child out and said 'screw it, that's enough' and went to do something else.
But if the kid is happy and the parents are there to attest to that, then yes the letter writer can go fuck themselves.

 

[krazykidd]

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

 

[Muspelheim]

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

Inflict more damage? What do you mean?

 

[Sniper Team 4]

Oh, did they track down the person who wrote the letter? The last I heard it was unknown who did it, but if they tracked her down...well, her life is about to become a living nightmare.

My best friend is autistic. I have stood up for him several times throughout our lives. If anyone ever said anything like this to him, or wrote a letter like this to him and I found out, I would probably end up in jail for assault.

 

[Poetic Nova]

I thought adults knew better? The kid can't do anything about his autism and saying he should be euthanised is beyond harsh.

 

[Lilani]

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

Telling parents to euthanize their child is not, in any context, an appropriate response to being annoyed. Bottling up feelings is unhealthy, but there are ways to let out the feelings that are even more damaging than if she'd kept them in. This is one of those cases.

If the woman had chosen to approach the family civilly, she could have worked something out. Perhaps work out when they spend time outside so she can plan to be somewhere else at that time. But no, she had to write an angry and hateful letter which at best not going to change anything, and at worst will earn her the ire of her entire community if they figure out who she is.

 

[littlealicewhite]

People with special needs children are acutely aware of how their child's presence affects the rest of the world around them, and more than even that they know what the children do well with and what they don't do well with. If the child's discontentment was increased from being outside, you can sure as hell bet they wouldn't take them outside so often. Believe it or not, they don't like to hear their children scream either.

Also, you don't just sit and "have a little talk" with autistic children prone to screaming. There's nothing to talk about. They have no control over it. And restraining them only makes it worse. If there is anything to do about it the parents would know, but often times there isn't anything that can be done.

Maybe that's why the kid is always outside, the parent is aware of the screaming and it annoys them, so they find it more peaceful if the kid is outside while they're inside. It's just a guess but the article doesn't exactly give us a reason why they're outside so much anyway. The point is they're outside a lot and making a lot of noise while they're out there.

Also I didn't mean restrain as in bind him up with rope and toss him in a corner. Just discipline him a bit, maybe take away his candy if they're too loud or stand in a corner for a bit. You can't just let the kid run rampant and declare "welp disciplining just makes things worse may as well do nothing".

'Disciplining' an autistic child for behavior that is inherent to their condition won't do jack shit. They aren't doing it to act out, or draw attention, or just to be little dicks. They're doing it because they don't know how else to express themselves.

 

[krazykidd]

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

Telling parents to euthanize their child is not, in any context, an appropriate response to being annoyed. Bottling up feelings is unhealthy, but there are ways to let out the feelings that are even more damaging than if she'd kept them in. This is one of those cases.

If the woman had chosen to approach the family civilly, she could have worked something out. Perhaps work out when they spend time outside so she can plan to be somewhere else at that time. But no, she had to write an angry and hateful letter which at best not going to change anything, and at worst will earn her the ire of her entire community if they figure out who she is.

No , but people are known to be irrational when they are angry . A lot of murders happen just because someone lost their temper ( big time ) and killed people . It is entirely possible , that instead of this story , we could have gotten " Angry ontario women , loses temper and murder autistic child". Like i said it's not the best way to handled the situation , but i can see where she is coming from .

 

[littlealicewhite]

Of course it comes off disgusting. We have morals of 'the right to live'. Without natural selection we're progressively making our gene pool worse and worse, because we never let anyone die with science and medicine. That also goes for the fact we keep treating minor diseases with AB's so we're forcing them to become drug resistant. I'm not saying you don't deserve to have kids, but it's better for the humans as a species. Life isn't fair, some people are rolled unlucky lives. All I can say if you want to have kids, but have a genetic disability is to adopt. There's thousands and thousands of kids suffering with no parent. No one to care for them. Adopt them, show love to them. They're suffering, and compared to making other people suffer with giving birth to someone with a disability, adopting is so much better.
POST SCRIPT: Also due note, that many people diagnosed with autism/ADHD/many other disabilities actually do not have them. Our current society(Atleast in America. Yay America) has a HUGE habbit of over diagnoses. In America 80% of males are diagnosed with ADHD, but only ten percent of them actually have it.(I don't actually have a citation to it. It was a factoid that I remember in one of my classes)

snip

As a person with asperger's, I have decided to have 4 children purely in spite of you.

I also have aspergers, and I've personally chosen to never have kids. But that is my personal choice, and if someone else with a similar condition decides to have children then more power to them.

 

[krazykidd]

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

Inflict more damage? What do you mean?

Psychologically , for the parents . The way the letter was written , it's easy for the parents of the child to get angry and say the women is a crazy , inconsiderate ***** . It will have a smaller impact on the parents ( if any at all ) and they will get more sympathy .

However , if the letter was written , in a polite , yet condescending way , it would have a bigger impact making the parents feel guilty . They would feel less like the victimes and more as the cause of the problem.

 

[wulf3n]

it would have a bigger impact making the parents feel guilty . They would feel less like the victimes and more as the cause of the problem.

It depends on the parents. Maybe they're terrible parents and the woman who wrote the letter is in the right, or maybe they're doing everything they can, and the phrase "Get over it" applies to the woman who wrote the letter.

It has been my experience that those who complain about other disturbing their peace are generally the most loud and obnoxious people in the area.

 

[Muspelheim]

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

Inflict more damage? What do you mean?

Psychologically , for the parents . The way the letter was written , it's easy for the parents of the child to get angry and say the women is a crazy , inconsiderate ***** . It will have a smaller impact on the parents ( if any at all ) and they will get more sympathy .

However , if the letter was written , in a polite , yet condescending way , it would have a bigger impact making the parents feel guilty . They would feel less like the victimes and more as the cause of the problem.

Well, you don't need to be either condescending or specifically try to cause harm to get a situation you are unhappy with resolved. Like asking politely and working out a good solution for everyone involved. It shouldn't be too hard for adults to do.

 

[VodkaKnight]

She is a GROWN WOMAN, and too self-centered to realize that an autistic child is something you should not criticize, as it's simply insensitive. But comparing a crying child to an ANIMAL is a fucking disgrace, and telling them their kid should be put down like an ANIMAL. How is it selfish to want a child to see the world, and have fresh air? Also, autism and retardation are NOT the same thing. And telling someone their child should die is just a new level of shit.

 

[krazykidd]

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

Inflict more damage? What do you mean?

Psychologically , for the parents . The way the letter was written , it's easy for the parents of the child to get angry and say the women is a crazy , inconsiderate ***** . It will have a smaller impact on the parents ( if any at all ) and they will get more sympathy .

However , if the letter was written , in a polite , yet condescending way , it would have a bigger impact making the parents feel guilty . They would feel less like the victimes and more as the cause of the problem.

Well, you don't need to be either condescending or specifically try to cause harm to get a situation you are unhappy with resolved. Like asking politely and working out a good solution for everyone involved. It shouldn't be too hard for adults to do.

Oh yeah, i agree . This could have been done many differen ( and better ) ways . I was just trying to point out that if the woman who wrote the letter was trying to make the parents feel bad , there are other ways to do it . Like i said in my original post , while i don't condone what she's done and the way she did it , i completly understand where she is coming from .

 

[Muspelheim]

She is a GROWN WOMAN, and too self-centered to realize that an autistic child is something you should not criticize, as it's simply insensitive. But comparing a crying child to an ANIMAL is a fucking disgrace, and telling them their kid should be put down like an ANIMAL. How is it selfish to want a child to see the world, and have fresh air? Also, autism and retardation are NOT the same thing. And telling someone their child should die is just a new level of shit.

Well, in fairness, they can be criticized, it's just that it needs to be done with recognition of their condition and personality. Some things, they may not be able to help, but others they might. It can be done constructively and not insensitively, but it will require insight and experience. Qualities that she certainly doesn't seem to possess.

Raising a complaint and asking the guardian to work out a solution to the problem is what should've been done.

But I do agree, telling parents that they ought to have their own children killed is one of the most shitty thing you could tell them.

The amount of hollier-than-thou attitudes in this thread is amusing . Either that or the escapist is the home of saints . While i disagree with HOW she said it , i understand WHY, and i agree . However , this wasn't a one time thing , and keeping shit bottled up for a periode of time makes matters worst . And that's most likely what happened . She just had enough .

I would have got with polite condescension , rather than angry rant , because that tends to get better results AND inflict more damage.

Inflict more damage? What do you mean?

Psychologically , for the parents . The way the letter was written , it's easy for the parents of the child to get angry and say the women is a crazy , inconsiderate ***** . It will have a smaller impact on the parents ( if any at all ) and they will get more sympathy .

However , if the letter was written , in a polite , yet condescending way , it would have a bigger impact making the parents feel guilty . They would feel less like the victimes and more as the cause of the problem.

Well, you don't need to be either condescending or specifically try to cause harm to get a situation you are unhappy with resolved. Like asking politely and working out a good solution for everyone involved. It shouldn't be too hard for adults to do.

Oh yeah, i agree . This could have been done many differen ( and better ) ways . I was just trying to point out that if the woman who wrote the letter was trying to make the parents feel bad , there are other ways to do it . Like i said in my original post , while i don't condone what she's done and the way she did it , i completly understand where she is coming from .

Ah, now I see what you mean! Sorry, I misunderstood you entirely. That's true, I suppose. Everyone gets irritated. It what happens then that means something.

 

[Lilani]

No , but people are known to be irrational when they are angry . A lot of murders happen just because someone lost their temper ( big time ) and killed people . It is entirely possible , that instead of this story , we could have gotten " Angry ontario women , loses temper and murder autistic child". Like i said it's not the best way to handled the situation , but i can see where she is coming from .

Yes, people are irrational when they are angry. And if you're that angry, then you should see a therapist to learn to handle those emotions properly. Her annoyance is an explanation for her behavior, but not an excuse. Anyone who is throwing around death threats needs help, not encouragement to continue to be angry. She has a right to be angry, but also an obligation to learn how to channel that anger in a way that doesn't involve telling people to kill their children.

 

[krazykidd]

it would have a bigger impact making the parents feel guilty . They would feel less like the victimes and more as the cause of the problem.

It depends on the parents. Maybe they're terrible parents and the woman who wrote the letter is in the right, or maybe they're doing everything they can, and the phrase "Get over it" applies to the woman who wrote the letter.

It has been my experience that those who complain about other disturbing their peace are generally the most loud and obnoxious people in the area.

I disagree . She shouldn't have to " get over it " if the child is being AS disruptive as discribed . If i was to be making a shitload of noise in an otherwise quiet neighbordhood , you can bet your ass someone is going to complain and maybe even call the police for disturbing the peace . However , there are better more efficient ways of getting a point across, even if she wantes to rattled and/or pissed the parents off . I personally never liked the " get angry and make a scene" approach . I usually find that being level headed pisses people off more ( if that is your intention ).

 

[wulf3n]

If i was to be making a shitload of noise in an otherwise quiet neighbordhood

Who says it's a quiet neighborhood? How do we know the woman who wrote the letter has any better control over her kids? She told the parents of an autistic child to kill him/her, she can't be that great of a person.

Which was kind of my point. Everyone pisses someone else off. People can complain about how much they deserve peace and quiet until the cows come home but odds are they're just as, if not more annoying to others.

 

[Lilani]

I disagree . She shouldn't have to " get over it " if the child is being AS disruptive as discribed . If i was to be making a shitload of noise in an otherwise quiet neighbordhood , you can bet your ass someone is going to complain and maybe even call the police for disturbing the peace . However , there are better more efficient ways of getting a point across, even if she wantes to rattled and/or pissed the parents off . I personally never liked the " get angry and make a scene" approach . I usually find that being level headed pisses people off more ( if that is your intention ).

Except she didn't call the police, she wrote a threatening letter that as you said yourself only did more damage. Yes she was annoyed, we get that, and nobody is denying that. But no amount of noise makes what she did okay, and it was not in any way the best approach. Yes she had plenty of reason to be angry, but that doesn't excuse what she did. Someone deliberately spilling my drink would make me angry, but that doesn't make it okay for me to walk up and punch them in the face. That isn't how life works, or the legal system. Having cause to be angry ≠ a free pass to be a terrible person.